How to Expand Your Social Circle and Meet Someone Special in Real Life

What is your social circle like? Who are your friends? Who are your colleagues? Do they help you meet people who could potentially be, or might connect you to, your Someone Special? If you’re single and searching for a true life partner, and you want to meet people for dating in real life (not just online), having an expansive social/business circle is more valuable than you realize. 

Yes, many singles have embraced online dating when looking for love. And I encourage it. I’ve found that 80% of my happily-coupled clients have met their spouses or partners online (because they’ve learned how to be intentional in their approach and utilize the sites in a way to attract their ideal partner). 

However,  I still believe that dating for marriage or lasting love shouldn’t rest solely on the shoulders of dating apps. Many singles simply don’t enjoy online dating and the time-consuming process it requires. Dating app fatigue is a real thing.

The good news is, many of my clients have found love the “old-fashioned way”.  In the real world and in person! And not because they attended every happy hour until they finally stumbled upon a good match. 

Meeting someone special for a serious relationship, in real life, requires an intentional strategy. 

It requires broadening your friendships and finding new ways to meet new people without forcing it. 

Because the size of your social circle, coupled with the authenticity of those relationships, makes a HUGE difference in getting it right.  Why? 

1. A larger social circle means access to more people. Not that you’re looking to date everyone you meet in your growing network! However, more people means more potential introductions to someone who could be right for you. But it’s not just about quantity…
2. Because how you grow your social circle and where you spend your time matters just as much, if not more. When done correctly, you’ll naturally place yourself in spaces where the people you meet are more aligned with your values, interests, beliefs, and hopefully life goals. 

Now, I know putting yourself out in front of real-life people can be nerve-wracking, especially if you struggle with large groups, social exhaustion, or any sort of anxiety.  But it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. 

Not only am I going to share ways to expand your social circle organically, but I’m going to give you some simple tips to strengthen how you show up in real-life matters, as well. 

Three ways to expand your social circle that feel natural and authentic.

1. Activate your existing social circle

That’s right, it starts by building up your existing social network. Most people have more friends, or potential friends, than they realize. So look for ways to engage the relationships you do have and for ways to meet new people (and potentially “the” person) through them.

Use your “Connectors” for personal introductions

Many of my clients have met their significant others through personal introductions, once they activated those trusted friends and family members. I call these people “connectors”.  

I teach all of my clients how to create a 30-second infomercial to share with their Connectors to succinctly explain what they are looking for in a relationship and exactly who their perfect person is. Their goals, values, personality, lifestyle, etc. 

When a Connector is armed with this information and a desire to see you with your perfect person, they can be an unstoppable force! 

Accept more invites

I know it’s tempting to remain non-committal to plans. You never know what a week might bring. However, the more you say “maybe, we’ll see” and then stay in, the more opportunities you’re throwing away to connect. And the less likely you’ll be invited in the future. 

Go to the friend’s BBQ, Night Out, or whatever activity you’re not normally into. If it’s within your means to go, and doesn’t conflict with your values, then go more often. Maybe you won’t meet Mr./s Right, but maybe you will.  You will be widening your social network.  

Host more events

Does this idea throw you outside of your comfort zone? Don’t worry, there are ways to do this without making it too overwhelming. You can co-host with someone who is a better party planner. Or you can do the bulk of the planning and ask a friend to host the location. 

The events don’t have to be themed, although the more often you do it, the more inclined you might be to go a little extra. In the meantime, think of a simple dinner party, a game night, coffee with friends, or brunch (at home or on the town). 

Regardless of what you do, consider adding the unique element of asking your friends to invite someone new (ideally single) to the event. You’ll get to meet more people, liven up the group, and maybe even have your own romantic meet-cute.

One of my clients was eyeing a guy in her church group. She decided to host a bible study in your home and invite the group.  She was able to connect with this man at the time (I guess he enjoyed being in her home!) and they are now married. 

2. Use online tools

Even if you’re not dating online (and even if you are), there are fantastic ways to expand your social circle online too.   

Social Media

Most people have more “friends” on Facebook or Instagram than they do in real life. And many of these friends may be local to you, even if you’ve never met in person.

So start engaging with them, and consider connecting with them through local events or shared interests. And to be clear here, I’m not talking about asking someone out for a date. Don’t make it creepy by stalking some cute girl or guy’s social media to look for an “in”. 

No, I am literally referring to expanding your social circle, not asking for dates. The idea is to make actual friends. These new friendships naturally lead to meeting more people in person, or discovering they might be a new Connector who can be on the lookout for you.  

Having said that, I do know of some people who have reconnected with past friends through FB and then found new or renewed interest in dating one another.  

Also, consider Facebook to be an excellent way to get involved in online communities through Groups, as well as to find out about public events and activities. Type “events” into the search bar and click on the event icon to see what’s going on near you. 

MeetUp groups

MeetUp is one of the best ways I have found to connect with new social groups, especially if you live in a larger community. I host the Seriously Searching Singles Meetup Network, which has 13 groups in major cities nationwide. We have online and in-person events to get motivated singles connected and having fun.  

But there are so many types of groups you can get involved with through MeetUp: social, recreational, educational, professional, faith-based, activity/hobby based… and the list goes on. 

Search for local activities 

Communities big and small always have something going on, so if FB lets you down, use your favorite web browser to search for local events near you. 

Which leads us into the third way to expand your social circle…

3. Get involved in value-aligned or interest-based groups that resonate with you.

I always say that getting crystal clear on your relationship values and your life goals are the first things you need to get right if you’re serious about finding lasting love. Because relationships with staying power usually exist where there are more similarities than differences.

So consider what matters most to you, what you’re interested in, passionate about, or captivated by, and get involved in those spaces. Especially if those groups involve repeated attendance or interaction. For example, one of my clients was involved in a charity for a disease that his mother passed from.  It was through that organization and his volunteer efforts that he met his wife.  

Do you love learning new things? Get involved in classes where you can learn something new, maybe a hobby, a skill, or even something educational. Ongoing workshops or classes are a fun way to connect with other interested people over an extended period of time. 

Do you have a particular recreational activity or hobby you enjoy?  There are so many options out there, and they all have a website or social media page online, so start googling!

From gaming groups to book clubs, from craft groups to athletic groups, and everything in between. And if you need proof that interest-based groups are great ways to meet people, just look at my life. I met my husband more than 20 years ago through a local bicycling group for young professionals in their 30s and 40s! 

And don’t forget to consider faith-based, civic-minded, or community-volunteering organizations.  This category is uniquely ongoing, so you’ll have lots of opportunities to meet people who care about what you care about. And that’s a great place to begin a connection.

Finding lasting love by expanding your social circle can take time. 

But finding love isn’t the only benefit. In a world where people feel more and more alone, making new friends in real life is not only a necessity; it’s important to maintain our mental health!

However, showing up to all the invites, reconnecting with old friends through social media, or joining a group is only as helpful as the person or personality who shows up. 

Some extroverts and influential types naturally excel in new environments, where the energy is high, and the interactions are many.

But what if you’re more introverted, inexperienced, or tend to be a bit anxious in group settings? 

While I never want my clients to change who they are at heart, there are some techniques and practices that can help you show up authentically and with more confidence. I’ll be exploring that more in next’s week’s blog.

In the meantime, get out there and make some new friends! And if you’re realizing your dating efforts might benefit from some expert help, let’s talk.

Schedule a complimentary Discovery Session with me, and let’s get you on the path to finding your true and lasting love partner! 

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