Woman sitting at a table looking at her online dating app.

When Online Dating Doesn’t Work & When It Does

27 July 2023

Online dating can be frustrating! And when my new clients come to me for help, they often tell me all about when online dating doesn’t work for them. After hearing them out, I encourage them to consider that online can work if they’re willing to make a couple of key strategic changes.

I’d like to do the same for you. However, since you can’t tell me all about the times when online dating hasn’t worked for you, let me tell you about the stories and beliefs that most of my new clients share with me.

What I observe and hear is online dating doesn’t work when:

  • You’re too busy and don’t follow up with someone of interest.
  • When you message back and forth without ever going to the next step of a phone call or a video chat.
  • When there is no care about the completion of the online dating profile which usually translates to not enough there to entice a potential suitor.
  • When there are no pictures or too few pictures.
  • The pictures aren’t taken with care. You’re wearing any old thing. Or you’re putting up bathroom selfies!
  • Your profile doesn’t reflect you authentically. This usually happens for one of two reasons. First, it happens because you’re not good at writing about yourself. Second, you hired a company that tries to be too cute or over the top when writing it for you.
  • You don’t have a system for weeding through unqualified people nor do you know how to select only qualified potential dates.

Despite all the challenges that lead many to believe online dating doesn’t work, it’s the top way my successfully coupled clients meet their life partner/spouse. (Over the last 20 years, more than 80% of my successfully coupled clients have met through online dating!)

So, instead of looking at when online dating doesn’t work, let’s consider when online dating does work which is when:

  • You’re clear about your life goals and can describe them succinctly in your profile.
  • Your photos reflect who you are. (Read about how to select a terrific online dating photographer!)
  • You’re tastefully well-dressed and show your best self in your photos. (Makeup and hair done for the ladies!)
  • You don’t get upset about rejection or ghosting because you understand that you’re looking for quality over quantity.
  • You give a nice person a chance.
  • You understand that online is a tool and you get to connect with great people locally as well as, across the country and internationally if you’re open to long-distance dating.
  • You’re able to identify other motivated-for-a-serious-relationship individuals.                                                                         

Hopefully, you’ve now got a glimmer of hope that online dating can work instead of holding the negative perspective of, “Online dating doesn’t work, so why bother!”

It’s all about knowing how to communicate who you are and what you’re looking for in a relationship. When you do this, you’ll attract the right person and recognize them when you meet them. 

And if you need some support around this, then let’s talk! Now is a great time to get organized and ready for fall’s online dating opportunities. September-October is the second-highest traffic time online. So, let’s get you ready to meet your life partner! Visit www.talkwithcoachamy.com, fill out the form, and schedule a time for us to talk.