As a relationship and dating coach, I often meet discouraged singles who are overwhelmed and beaten down by the dating process. Especially those who have been searching for a while, have experienced loss, or are coming out of an unsuccessful relationship.

By the time these men and women come to me, they’re often almost ready to give up on finding lasting love.

This basic human need, to love and be loved, to be accepted and to belong, is deeply woven into our being. And yet, feelings of rejection, loss, self-doubt, and frustration are enough to cause many singles to abandon all hope.

I wish they had found me earlier in their process.

Before I became a coach, I was healing from a difficult divorce. At 40, I was single and discouraged. Even though I was a successful businesswoman, had plenty of friends and an active social life, I still had a strong desire to be a wife and a mother.

I chose not to give up and hired a dating coach to help me. But there were still difficult times, and I needed a way to keep myself motivated and moving forward.

So I wrote down 10 mantras, or affirmations, for finding love to speak over myself when doubt and frustration came calling.

Positive self-talk is a powerful tool against negativity and self-doubt.

Many people feel silly at first, speaking encouragement to themselves. However, recent studies have found profound and almost immediate results from positive self-affirmations.

“Overall, the researchers found that self-affirmations had positive effects on people’s general well-being, social well-being, and self-perception and sense of self-worth. The self-affirmations also reduced negative symptoms such as anxiety and negative mood.”
– Lea Winerman, American Psychological Association

Not only did my mantras help me stay encouraged and motivated as I was searching for my husband, but I’ve also found that these affirmations for finding love have been extremely beneficial to my clients. It’s my hope that they can strengthen you on your journey for true love.

Here are my 10 Affirmations (or Mantras) for Finding Love:

1. “I deserve to be with supportive people and a supportive community while I’m on my journey to finding my true love. “
   Ditch those who don’t support your efforts to find love! Those naysayers who tell you that you’re wasting your time or that it’s not worth the effort.
   
   Instead, surround yourself with positive, affirming people who will encourage your pursuit of finding lasting love. You can even ask someone to be your accountability partner so that you don’t give up!
   
   
2. “I deserve to make finding love a priority in my life.”
   Anything worth having is worth putting in effort and time for. You’ve prioritized education, family, health, and career; why wouldn’t you move some things around to prioritize dating and finding love?
   
   
3. “It’s okay to get help.” 
   Most people are not “love experts”. When you need help fixing your car, getting in shape, or filing your taxes, you wouldn’t think twice to hire a professional. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you that seeking help isn’t a good idea if you feel it’s time to hire an expert in the love department. 
   
   
4. “Mr. or Ms. Wonderful can already be in my world, and I just haven’t opened my eyes and heart to recognize him/her yet.“
   This affirmation for finding love is especially near and dear to my heart. My husband and I passed by each other during several events and happenings for almost 5 years before we realized we were meant for each other. Your perfect person is out there, and they may be closer than you think.
   
   
5. “I can find love at any age. He or she is looking for me.”
   I was in my 40s when I found love. Some are lucky to find their person in their 20s. But I have coached many single clients in their 50s, 60s, and even 70s who have successfully found lasting love.
   
   
6. “Everyone’s online. I can be successful at online dating with the right approach. “
   80% of my successfully coupled clients met through online dating. They all come to me saying online dating doesn’t work.  I say, “Not yet, but it can!” Online dating can be a very successful way to find love, if you know what you’re doing and have the right strategy.
   
   
7. “I do NOT have to look like a model to find love. The right person will appreciate me and love me as I am.“
   How does the song go? “Don’t go changing, and try to please me…”
   
   Embrace who you are, what you enjoy, and look for others who will appreciate the same. Don’t try to fit some mold that you think others want to see. You might get some matches, but they won’t be the right match.
   
   The right person will be drawn to who you are and your energy. You will enjoy each other’s company and be attracted to one another.  I’ve had clients in their early 80’s find love again. If they can, so can you!
   
   
8. “I am at the perfect age to date and find my true love.“
   You are not the same person you were 10 years ago. Who you are now, at this stage of your life, is wiser, stronger, and more prepared for a healthy relationship. Forget yesterday and speak this affirmation over yourself that NOW is the time for finding true love.
   
   
9. “Getting help from an expert will shorten my learning curve, so I can attract the best life partner, which is a smart thing to do.”
   Every time you put off doing something, you are delaying the outcome. If you have been searching for love unsuccessfully, now is the time to ask for help.  
   
   Maybe that looks like attending dating workshops or group coaching. Maybe you find you need a little more attention, and one-on-one coaching would be more beneficial. Either way, an experienced, qualified dating coach can help iron out the wrinkles in your dating strategy so you can finally find your person!
   
   
10. “I CAN get LOVE right this time!!  I deserve to be loved.”  
    Yes, you can! You deserve to love and be loved. To be valued, cherished, and complete within the loving relationship of your dreams.
    

Don’t give up on love!

If you’ve found yourself discouraged, take time daily to speak these affirmations for finding love over yourself. And say them out loud! You might feel silly at first, but as you continue to do it, you’ll find yourself feeling more hopeful, more secure, and more motivated.

True and lasting love is out there, searching for you right now. Don’t stop until you find each other!

And if you decide that now is the time to seek out a dating and relationship expert with a proven track record, I’d love to help. I’ve helped hundreds of clients find lasting love, and I can help you, too! Schedule a complimentary Meet Your Mate Strategy Session with me, and we’ll discuss the next steps for finding your true love!