“How do you make dating a priority despite your crazy life these days?”
When my clients say they want a loving relationship in their life, THIS is the question I ask them. I have to wonder if they are really making dating a priority or if they even know what that means!
Many people seem to just hope they’ll just bump into that special person. And while that can happen, you’ve heard the expression- “Hope is not a strategy!”. So, if you don’t want to wait on chance or luck, you must commit to focusing and setting aside time to strategically meet new people in search of a serious, committed relationship.
If you are serious about finding lasting love, then you need to evaluate, and potentially rearrange, the following 4 areas of your life.
The first area of your life to take a look at is time. Are you setting time aside for dating activities and to be able to go on dates when the opportunity arises?
As a divorced business owner, I knew I had to make some adjustments to find time for dating. I was in my late 30’s and was fairly energetic! So I decided to hire a manager and therefore, take less income from my business. If I wanted to meet my life partner, get married, and have a family, I needed to make the time to prioritize dating. And time was not on my side.
By hiring a manager, I freed up the time and flexibility I needed to get out and date. I was able to attend events where I would meet other singles in the evening and on the weekend. And this is where I met my husband, through a late 30s/40s professional activity group.
What I usually see from people struggling to find love, is that they are trying to squeeze in dating. And they are viewed by those they meet as not really available for a relationship.
This happened the first time I met my husband 5 years prior to us seriously dating. At that time we went on one date and he perceived me as being too busy for him. He never asked me out for a second date after our first date.
Perhaps you’re turning off a potential partner by being seen as too busy and not making dating and a relationship a priority in your life.
Secondly, is your career, company, or job the kind where you can prioritize dating or even nurturing a relationship in your life?
I have had clients leave work environments that did not prioritize work-life balance. Others turned down positions that would be counter to their goal of having time to meet people, date, and build a relationship.
One of my 30-something female clients did not take a job that required extensive travel. She chose to make finding a life partner and having a family a priority! She wanted to be present to date and get to know someone without the stress of traveling all the time and being away from home for long periods.
Next, how you spend your time, and you’re availability for dating, speaks volumes about whether you are truly making dating a priority in your life.
If you over-schedule your activities or are not willing to give up a class or change your plans, you may miss out.
I’m not saying you should ditch your girlfriends for a guy, or abandon your family for a date, however, over-scheduling and not having any time on the weekends creates a roadblock for dating with some of my clients. This calls for us to re-balance their calendar and figure out the best way to put more attention towards dating.
One of my clients was dating a professional man who enjoys DJing on the weekends to earn extra money. Instead of keeping his date with my client, he took a last-minute DJ gig. What does that show? He’s not making dating or being with her a priority. It wasn’t a good look for him and his commitment to being in a relationship. Did he really need to work both weekend Days? One has to question his desire for work-life balance if he can’t prioritize a budding relationship.
Finally, another way to make dating a priority is to get some accountability from a coach or a coaching group.
When clients commit to a coaching relationship, they are making dating and fostering a new relationship their goals. They commit time to their coaching sessions. They follow through on the coaching exercises. And they complete the actions they commit to in our coaching sessions.
If you thrive on group accountability, then my Meet Your Mate This Year group may be a good fit. Its structured setting helps my clients to make dating a true priority. And when dating is disappointing, or frustrating, or you don’t see any real prospects in sight, the support is especially valuable.
Studies show that you are more likely to have success at a goal when you build in accountability. Just knowing you’re going to have to check in with someone, even just a peer, will help you to continue to make dating a priority.
Did you catch a theme throughout these suggestions? It’s all about time.
To do anything well, you know you must commit time and practice to something and this is true in dating and relationships as well. If you want love in your life, you must have time for it. Time to discover it, to nurture it, and to enjoy it.
I hope I’ve given you some food for thought on how to make dating, and finding a life partner, a priority in your life.
If you’re ready to make dating a priority in your life, reach out, you’re ready for what I have to offer.