Recently I asked my followers on my personal Facebook page and in the Motivated To Marry Singles Private Facebook Group a simple, straightforward question: Can You Meet Your True Love during the Pandemic? The obvious challenges of social distancing and dating inspired both positive and not-so-hopeful responses.
As you can probably guess, my belief is 100% on the positive end. I believe you can connect with your true love during this strange time of social distancing. And dating can take on a new, creative definition that can actually strengthen your budding relationship.
Creating a lasting connection during this pandemic is really a matter of shifting your perspective.
Why do I believe this? No, I haven’t been spending this time reading Jane Austen novels. On the contrary, I have been helping singles reinvent their dating lives during these unfamiliar times. And I’ve seen couples launch lasting relationships in-the-making.
Some of my clients, for example, had just met new people online and had a couple of dates before the pandemic hit. All that exciting, hopeful, maybe-this-is-the-one energy suddenly stopped in its tracks.
But they chose not to let social distancing stop their forward momentum.
Other clients have been taking advantage of this time to create meaningful connections on the phone and via video chat.
The takeaway here is that you have the power to convert the limitations of this time into a lasting relationship. Social distancing and dating can go hand-in-hand. Your success really depends on how committed you are to finding true love and how open-minded you are.
Relationships take time to develop. It takes time to get to know someone well. And you can learn a lot about someone in the process of having a series of conversations — even conversations by phone or video chat. Some people are evening having face to face (mask to mask) socially distant meetings!
My recommendation is that you treat these conversations as “dates.” Of course, time on the phone doesn’t elicit the same warm-and-fuzzy feelings that holding hands across the dinner table does. And obviously you delay certain sensory experiences that physical closeness provides.
But here’s one big advantage: Most couples move too quickly at the start of relationships. So, even though you may wish for “normal” dating, social distancing may actually be setting you up for long-term success.
Consider what happened in the Netflix series “Love is Blind.” (If you haven’t seen it, it’s an entertaining and fascinating show.) And then think of the situation you’re in as a reality show called Long-Distance Love Connection.
Do you know anyone who has made a long-distance love connection? I do.
Of course, until the two of you actually meet and spend time together, you won’t know if the connection is real or a fantasy. But you can get a lot closer to the confidence of it being real by doing intentional, meaningful work now.
What you choose to talk about. The attitude you have about this current “inconvenience.” How you present and discuss difficult subjects. How creative you are in planning your “dates.”
These will all influence your success in building a strong foundation for the day when you do meet in person.
So, what do dates look like during the pandemic?
Of course, the place to start is talking on the phone. One woman in my Motivated to Marry Singles FB group said she recently spent 2 hours on the phone with someone.
OK, the conversation flows. Check!
You can also talk via video chat so you can actually see the person on the other end. Do you like how the person looks? Are you attracted to his/her smile and conduct? If so, check!
As the two of you talk, are you sharing insights into your personal life goals and core values? Do they line up? If so, check!
After successfully experiencing these first steps to getting to know one another, it’s time to create virtual dates that you’ll both enjoy so you can see other sides of each other’s personality.
You might consider playing an interactive game. (I love interactive games since you really get to know one another’ personalities!) There are so many of them online, from Scrabble to card games to Monopoly. Just Google games you can play online and you’ll find some great options.
Do you love to travel (or dream of all the places you want to visit with someone special)? Take a virtual tour together by using the screen share option in Zoom.
You can watch a movie or world-class performance at the Met together.
The key is to find mutual interests and then explore how you can do those things virtually. How would you keep the connection going in normal times? Find creative ways to translate those activities into a “social distancing and dating” mindset.
Guys, you can send a cute e-card to capture her heart. Many of the major card lines you would find in a store now have an e-card option. And many are free.
You can have dinner together. (Gentlemen, don’t you think ordering a dinner to be delivered to your date will score big?) And how can you make it fun? Consider a theme night with dressing up. (How about dressing up in your favorite-team garb or have a tropical Island night?).
You’re right. You can’t hold hands, hug, or kiss right now. That’ll be the icing on the cake when you do finally get to meet in person. However, you can still establish a meaningful relationship in these very unusual times.
People have been having long-distance relationships for centuries. What’s different today is that we have the communication tools to keep in touch on a daily basis if we want to.
Opportunities abound in all areas of life during this time of social distancing. And dating is no different.
Are you ready to take advantage of creating or sustaining a new love during this pandemic? If so, you get to write the story of how being open to the possibilities allowed you to find true love.
Your marriage-minded dating and relationship coach,
PS: If you’re ready to learn a proven way to find true love and get the support from an experienced life and relationship coach to take you by the proverbial hand and walk you through the steps, go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com and sign up for a complimentary Meet Your Mate This Year Strategy Session. You can meet great, quality people now, even during a Pandemic! What a time to start your love story!