Autumn is a great time of year to embrace new opportunities and fall back into dating. The rush of summer activities has largely ended, the weather is cooling down, and kids are back in (or away at) school. For the most part, we are back in “work mode”. Is finding lasting love one of the items on your fall “to-do” list?
While the summer was fun with vacations and long weekends, it may not have brought you love just yet. Instead of summer flings, fall dating is an opportunity to slow down, be more intentional, and make meaningful connections. It’s all about balance, doing the work, and putting real thought into your relationship goals.
In the fall, we realize there is a finite amount of time to get things done before the year ends. Somehow this moves us toward action. Wouldn’t it be nice to end the year with someone special in your life? To start something new that could lead to a long-term relationship or even marriage?
Now is the time to get serious and commit to fall dating by putting yourself out there and intentionally creating a dating plan to find someone special.
Here are three (3) key ways to meet people for dating that have proven most successful for my clients:
Get Back Online!
Maybe you’ve tried it before and found it wasn’t successful or felt unnatural. I know it can be overwhelming or frustrating at times, but when I look at how my successfully couple clients found someone special, two-thirds have done so through online dating. According to recent studies, nearly 50% of people are meeting their significant others online. And Gen Xers seem to be having the most success by far with numbers averaging around 70%. So, if you haven’t found success with online dating, my suggestion is to re-think your strategy.
However, before jumping back into fall dating online, take a moment to refresh your existing profiles or pick a new app/site that caters to your interests and goals. Start by updating your photos- make sure they are current and reflect your authentic self. Consider sharing extras that highlight your different interests or activities. In your bio, communicate how your goals have shifted, and make sure to mention that you’re ready for something meaningful. Next review how you have answered previous questions on your profiles and make sure they reflect your true intentions as well. If you need a little help with your profile, grab my free Online Dating Checklist.
The good news is that many people return to online dating in the fall, just like you, so it’s a perfect time to find other singles who are also looking for long-term relationships.Join New Groups
Since you know that you aren’t alone in looking for love after the summer break, it’s a great time to get involved in more social endeavors. I recommend you look to join two or three new groups. Try something new where you feel you can meet people you will connect well with and have common interests.
Consider fall-specific groups. You can lsign up for a local hiking club to enjoy the changing foliage or join a cooking class where you can bond over seasonal recipes. Volunteering for fall festivals or charity events can also help you meet people who share your values.
It’s best to get involved in groups where there is consistency. Seeing the same people time and time again so they can get to know you. This way you are building familiarity and opening doors for deeper connections. Meetup is a great place to find groups near you that are consistently gathering and building relationships over time.
Remember, fall dating is about finding someone who shares not just your interests, but also your desire for a meaningful relationship.Ask for Introductions
This is one of my favorite techniques that I teach to all my clients. The best way to meet good people is through people! With the fall and early winter months full of events, gatherings, and celebrations, the opportunities for introductions are endless.
But just asking someone to set you up isn’t going to get the job done. No, you need to craft a compelling 30-second infomercial that you can intentionally share with those you trust to be on the lookout for your Mr./Mrs. Right. Make sure these people know you haven’t given up on love and that you’re ready for something lasting. Then share with them your infomercial.
This should be comprised of a clear description of the kind of person you are looking to meet, as it lines up with your own core relationship values, life goals, and must-haves. For example, you might say, “I’m ready to meet someone who’s kind, ambitious, and loves the outdoors. I’m focusing on building a partnership that can turn into something long-lasting.”
Be specific with some of your must-haves, but not necessarily rigid. For example, if you want kids, have specific religious preferences, or prefer a certain personality type be clear about it. But maybe be less specific about profession, age, physical attributes, etc. It’s about giving others enough insight to picture the kind of person you’re seeking without overly limiting them. Many of my clients have been surprised to find that their friends/family actually knew wonderful people to set them up with, and many of those set-ups have turned into lasting love!
Don’t wait until the holidays are on top of you!
Now is the perfect time to set yourself up for fall dating success. I strongly suggest that you put some energy and focus into this endeavor and create a targeted dating plan. Whether it’s updating your dating profile, joining a new group, or asking for introductions, take the time this season to be intentional with your love life. If you want to enjoy the holidays with someone special by your side, start laying the groundwork today.