“What are some reasons singles might hire a dating and relationship coaching, and what do you do to help them?”

Whenever I’m interviewed for a tv show or a podcast, this is a common question I get asked. Some people have had no problem finding love and can’t imagine what it’s like to struggle with romantic loneliness; the difficulty of striving for something so important, yet finding disappointment at every turn. 

Even those who understand the struggle may have never thought that there could be an easier way. Deep down, many singles think that they are the problem when in reality, it’s their process that’s tripping them up! It just goes to show that you don’t know what you don’t know.

Which is why I get this question. Essentially, they are asking, who needs dating coaching, why,  and what happens?

The short answer: most clients seek out a dating coach because they are struggling with some aspect of dating and want to figure out how to fix it.

But after more than 20 years of dating and relationship coaching, what I’ve discovered is that while the reasons people seek coaching may sound similar, what each person actually needs help with is unique.

Here are 6 reasons you might need dating and relationship coaching, and how a coach like me can help. 

1. You are struggling to find the time for dating well or building relationships.

   Many of my clients have very full lives or a profession that is very demanding. Some have families to care for or community engagements that are all-consuming. They are simply too busy for a relationship, and they don’t even know it.
   
   They think they’ll get around to dating when “life slows down.”  The problem with this thinking is that you only have so much time in this life. Wouldn’t it be better to do as much of it as possible with your true love?
   
   At 40, my client Kay realized that while she had found success as an executive within a major corporation, she had no one to share it with. When she came to coaching, she needed to prioritize the dating process. Within 10 days of coaching, she met Gary and realized he was worth the life change. 
   
   So, a dating coach will help evaluate how you can fit dating, and ideally a new relationship, into your life.
   
   

2. Your confidence has been damaged, and you need help navigating the ups and downs of dating.

   Dating can be hard on your ego, and the potential for rejection is real. Some clients experience genuine fear at the idea of trying to connect with people. Others have experienced trauma or heartbreak. These wounds can make showing up, and especially opening up, feel unsafe.
   
   If you’re single and you desire a loving relationship but are having a hard time with the process, a relationship coach can help you work through what’s been holding you back. 
   
   I love helping my clients reframe their perspective so they can see all that they have to offer rather than letting fear or insecurity control the process.  Then they can actually enjoy dating and the anticipation of meeting a wonderful person instead of dreading it!  
   
   

3. You need a personalized dating plan specific to your needs and lifestyle.

   If you don’t have a dating plan, you are likely wasting precious time doing things that are not serving you.
   
   When Jeff, a widower in his 50s, came to me for dating coaching, he found that getting back into dating after 25 years was harder than he expected.
   
   He tried everything to meet women who might want something serious. Yet he still kept matching with womenwho weren’t interested in commitment.
   
   “They were just out there to be out there,” he said. His jump back into the dating pool lacked strategy, planning, or a process. Once we worked on that, he was able to meet women more aligned with his goals and values, eventually meeting his now partner, Debbie. 
   
   

4. You want to learn how to connect more deeply with people.

   When they come to coaching, many of my clients are just not getting past the first couple of dates. They match up, go on dates, but they either can’t seem to connect or the “matches” are consistently not great.
   
   In dating and relationship coaching, not only are you learning how to filter out your matches better, but I also help my clients understand how to show up better on those early dates. Often, it’s not about trying harder, but about understanding how to establish an emotional connection without forcing chemistry.
   
   My clients learn to look for “flow” in relationships and connect with the right person. On average, my clients are in exclusive, committed relationships within 3 to 6 dates when they learn what to look for and how to connect through their relationship values. 
   
   

5. You need help with Online Dating and a strategy to do it better.

   Online dating gets a bad rap; however, 80% of my successfully coupled clients met their partners online! It doesn’t have to be the only way you date, but I recommend it be one of the methods you use to meet people.
   
   My client Nina met her husband Jessie online on the very first, and only, day he had his profile up! How was she so successful?
   
   Most people struggle with online dating. Either they’re not on the right site (for them), they aren’t communicating who they are and what they want well, and/or they don’t know how to filter potential matches quickly based on their own relationship values and goals. 
   
   I helped Nina better understand her relationship values and life goals and how to express them in her dating profile. Because of this, Jessie knew that Nina was someone who wanted similar things. Likewise, she was able to quickly see that he was worth her time.  I also helped her make sure she had the best possible pictures in her profile. 
   
   

6. You need help navigating the early stages of a relationship.

   A huge area of concern I hear from my clients is about exclusivity and timing. Many singles have a hard time transitioning from the search process to the relationship. 
   
   Questions like “Is this person really the right one for me?”, “How soon is too soon for exclusivity?” and “When and how do I bring up commitment or marriage?” “When to have serious dating conversations?”
   
   Relationship coaching provides a sounding board for working through these details. I never make decisions for my clients. But sometimes they don’t have the experience or tools to understand how the progression of a relationship should work.
   
   When Kay and Gary got together, they continued coaching with me to help establish a firm foundation for their new relationship. It was a joy to see them fall in love and build a future together. 

Relationship coaching is a huge part of dating coaching.  

Despite what many dating influencers promote on social media, dating and relationship coaching is not about flirting better, manipulating interest, or playing games. Those gimmicks do not lead to lasting love.

As a professional life coach, I’m able to help my clients look at what they truly want for their life and clarify what a fulfilling life would look like. A well-matched couple is on the same page when it comes to life goals, purpose, and relationship values.   

Nothing beats hearing my client tell me, “I have met someone, and I think I am in love!” I am fortunate to be able to be involved in such rewarding work.  It’s not just a profession; it’s a calling for me. And over the years, I’ve helped hundreds of single men and women find their person (From ages 27 to over 80!)

If you’re single and desire a loving, committed relationship, but your current approach is not getting you there, know that you’re not broken. You may simply need a better way, one that fits your life, values, and goals.

When you’re ready to date with more intention, confidence, and support, I’d love to help. Let’s explore whether dating and relationship coaching could help you move forward with clarity and hope.

How do you know if you are truly ready for lasting love? Take my FREE “Are You Ready to Meet Your Mate” Quiz, and find out! Go to https://motivatedtomarry.com/quiz/ today!

About the Author

is a certified life coach and dating/relationship expert who has helped hundreds of marriage-minded singles find lasting, committed partnerships since 2005. Through private coaching and group programs, she specializes in helping people date with clarity, confidence, and purpose.