October is the month when Gremlins and Goblins come out all over for Halloween. Dating is kind of like Trick or Treat. You never know as you go door to door who is behind that door – and if the experience will be one that is delightful or a big scare! Think about all the Gremlins and Goblins, your true fears, which you encounter out there when looking for love!
Gremlins or Goblins in this context are all the negative thoughts that come to you as you venture out there in the dating world.
First, let’s look at a couple of them and see which ones you may be encountering along your path to finding lasting love!
The Rejection Gremlin
This Gremlin is quite ugly! It’s the one that abhors rejection and anticipates the worst possible scenario for you. It’s one that is steeped in futility. You think to yourself, “He won’t like me so why should I try?” or, “I’m only going to get rejected, so why bother?” This gremlin keeps you from trying new things and meeting new people.
This Can’t Work Goblin
Here you go again with dating fears! Something will go wrong since it always does. So why get emotionally invested with a new person? Then you hold yourself back or you sabotage the relationship and leave first. That way you won’t get hurt.
The I Should Not Trust You Gremlin
It’s difficult to put your faith in someone else when you have dating fears. And like the Goblin above, whenever you do trust someone, you tend to be disappointed and get hurt. So you won’t allow yourself to put your faith in that person even if they are worthy of your trust. Your belief is ultimately that they will be unfaithful in some way. So you withhold trust and have your guard up. In that way, true love is thwarted.
The Who Would Want Me Goblin
This is a sister to the Rejection Gremlin. You don’t feel deserving of love and feel that perhaps you are not meant to have love and the coupled life you envision for yourself. This Goblin makes you feel unlovable.
The I Shouldn’t Have to Be Doing This Gremlin
Dating seems like a sentence for you. You’d rather be spending your time doing something more productive with your time. Your friends and family members seem to have found their spouses with little or no effort. Why do you need to be working so hard at this? And you don’t feel comfortable showing up at singles events announcing to the world that you’re single. This leads to our last Goblin…
The All the Good Guys/Gals Have Been Taken Goblin
You are carrying the belief that there are no good guys (or gals) out there for dating. All the good ones are taken. So you are coming from the scarcity perspective. This is a tainted view of dating and truly keeps you from seeing the good qualities in people and real possibilities for finding true love.
How do you want to respond when these Gremlins and Goblins show up?
What do you need to do to maneuver around these negative creatures as you venture out into the dating world looking for love? My recommendation is to try to keep a positive outlook and do not assume the worst. Know that you have the resources inside you to avoid these Gremlins and Goblins or make friends with them. Know that they are always lurking nearby. By keeping a positive outlook, you will be keeping those creatures at bay so you can overcome your dating fears and truly get what you want, true love.
So as you are dating this Halloween month, will it be Trick or Love?