Dating for fun is different from seriously searching for love. If you’re serious about finding love, you need to know my top dating tips for cutting through the dating chaff and finding the love of your life.
The following tips include the exact formula for dating success that I share with my clients to help them connect with their special person.
For instance, if you want to get married and have a family, and your partner doesn’t, then that’s a problem. Resentment will eventually build, and you won’t feel good about yourself or the relationship. Down the road (usually within 6-24 months) the relationship won’t move forward to the serious commitment you really want. Instead, it can end.
That is what happened to Karen. Karen was in her early 40s and had been dating her boyfriend for 2 years. She found out he didn’t have the same goals as she did. And, then after all that time together, she decided to leave the relationship.
Fortunately for Karen, she decided to coach with me. She put this and all my other proven tips into practice. She was able to clearly communicate her vision for marriage and a family to her new boyfriend, and quickly discovered he shared her vision. Now she is married and has the family she always desired.
Another opportunity for life goal alignment has to do with retirement. Imagine you’re looking to retire and move to another part of the country. However, if your partner is working full-time with no end in sight, then that most likely will cause a rift.
So, spending the time to get extremely clear about your life goals and vision is critical. Because once you know what you want, you can communicate it to whomever you date.
2) Have a good sense of your core relationship values so you can recognize the love of your life when you find them.
This is where most of my clients tell me they have the biggest ah-ha!
Of all my tips, this one has had the most impact on how my clients date. They learn to focus on values instead of superficial stuff. They also discover the difference between relationship values and personal values.
This is important because we connect with others through our values.
What does this mean? Not every one of your personal values needs to perfectly line up with your life partner’s values. It’s your core relationship values that need to be the same while your personal values just need to be supported, respected, and appreciated by your life partner.
Do you really want a carbon copy of yourself? Do you really want to live a life with someone that agrees with you on everything? Or would it be better to be with someone who shares your key relationship values, and complements your personal values?
After all, polarity is where attraction occurs. If you’re not aware of where the polarity is in your relationship, you don’t know if what you’re attracted to is a good thing or something that will drive you crazy!
So be careful about how you choose who you date exclusively.
3) Know your deal breakers and your would-like-to-haves.
It really helps to develop some boundaries around what you will accept in a relationship and what you won’t.
To help you develop your deal breakers, think about what would make you walk away from a relationship. What can’t you tolerate?
This is a question I ask my clients to help them determine their would-like-to-haves. What’s desirable and yet you’d still consider the relationship if it weren’t there?
Here’s an example of a would-like-to-have and a deal breaker that I identified while I was searching for my husband. I would love my husband to be a good dancer. This was a would-like-to-have and what I passed on for more important things. Must like cats. That I could not give on!
One of my female clients was 5’2” and she had a Must Have of “must be at least 6 foot tall.” I challenged her to consider a shorter man if everything else lined up for her. Would she really walk away from a great potential relationship if he were 5’8’’?
So, as you come up with your list of deal breakers it’s important to ask yourself, “Am I eliminating good potential partners due to an overly stringent deal breaker and making my would-like-to-haves must-haves?”
This is one of the important subtleties of my top tips for finding the love of your life.
4) Be sure to make space in your appointment calendar for dating activities.
Are dating and those activities associated with finding a life partner last on your to-do list?
Dating takes time and focus. First, you have to plan to be at activities that attract singles who are similar to you. And, you must have time for follow-up activities, phone time, and text time if you do meet someone interesting.
Online dating takes a whole different energy. I suggest you plan time for setting up your profile, reading through profiles, responding to the profiles that interest you, finding time to talk on the phone, and then time for an actual date.
As a dating coach, I always recommend that my clients not overcommit their time. And I’m making the same recommendation to you. Leave open time for dating and getting out to meet new people.
Most seriously searching singles want to know that you have time for them and that you will make the relationship a priority.
5) Take the time to develop a strategic dating plan.
Another one of my proven dating tips is to develop a strategic dating plan. Your time is precious, and you need to have a focused plan, so you’re not dating in circles. This includes both online and face-to-face opportunities.
For instance, I suggest my clients pick 3 to 5 Meetups (www.Meetup.com) to join. Not 20 groups. (Who has time to go to 20 Meetup groups regularly?) The key is to find those groups in which you click with the people and can commit to attending their events on a regular basis, so they get to know you better.
I help my clients sift through and pick those Meetup groups that will help them meet like-minded people in their age range.
I also recommend you develop an online dating strategy.
For instance, I suggest you join one major dating site and one niche site (i.e. based upon religion, age group, lifestyle, interests or dating goals). You may also want to consider an app to round out your online dating efforts and maximize your opportunities.
6) Be sure to go online at the right times of the year.
Seriously searching singles are dating online year-round. So, when you’re ready, is when you can put your efforts toward online dating.
However, there are specific times of the year when more people jump online. When you’re hoping to find the love of your life, you want to make sure your profile is ready when the increase in online dating traffic happens. That way you can take advantage of the opportunity to meet quality singles on dating sites.
You’ll find the most traffic online is after New Year’s and during the months of January and February.
The second highest traffic time for online dating sites is in September. In the US, it’s after Labor Day when people start getting serious about meeting someone after a fun-filled summer enjoying the outdoors, or traveling. Now they’re spending more time indoors and thinking how nice it would be to have a loving partner during the end-of-the-year holidays and festivities.
So, when you’re searching for the love of your life, keep in mind the important times of the year when you need to be online to take advantage of the abundance of singles searching for love.
7) Don’t make assumptions about others too quickly.
The last of my powerful and proven tips is to be careful about making snap judgments about people.
Did you know that our assumptions are wrong over 50% of the time? So you’ll want to check things out before you cut out a good potential partner.
One of the biggest mistakes my clients make is assuming everyone who is dating is looking for a serious, committed relationship. That’s just not true. There are over 2 dozen reasons that people are out there dating and only a handful are for a committed long-term relationship.
So, you really need to find out someone’s true motivation for dating.
In the Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets coaching program, you’ll learn the reasons why people date and how to identify someone who wants to find the love of their life too. This will save you so much time!
To learn more proven dating coach tips and about this life-changing coaching program that has helped hundreds learn how to meet their loving life partner, go to https://motivatedtomarry.com/motivated-to-marry-dating-secrets/. This will surely shorten your learning curve and give you the tools and strategies for finding the love of your life!