As part of your total dating strategy, I urge my clients to try online dating as a way to find quality people to date. There is a whole slew of reasons to be online, one of which that just the shear numbers of singles who are participating and the convenience that it offers.
I spoke to one of my young mom friend’s husband (about 30 years old) and they met online. Both were attractive people with good jobs. You wondered why they felt the need to go online to meet a mate. The young man said, “I knew what I was looking for and I didn’t want to waste my time”.
You can be targeted in your approach with online dating. Many of my clients have met their spouses and life partners with this approach. So when there are hundreds of online dating sites, which ones do you choose?
Given the numbers, I usually recommend Match and/or Chemistry. For my Jewish clients I recommend JDate. eHarmony is great for those who really want to use in depth, detailed structured site. Each online dating site offers different strategies and approaches – so you have to decide which one works best for your personality.
Match is one of the top dating sites by number-for those that you pay for. I believe a serious person will pay to be on an online dating site. It shows that they are willing to put some investment towards the endeavor. I am wary of free sites, although I do know people who met their partner on those sites.
This is also probably the most well know of all the online dating sites – given their marketing power. It’s the one Dr. Phil has endorsed (and been paid handsomely for his efforts). You have the whole world here. You get to contact whoever seems to interest you. It’s up to you to read the profiles and to judge the picture. On these sites, the picture plays a major role to attracting interested parties. It’s your job to weed out the undesirable suitors.
For Chemistry you need to fill out their dating questionnaire that puts you into 4 different personality categories. This takes a little more time to fill out and get up and running. You also have some questions and essays to fill out. Then you get 5 matches a day based upon your personality type.
So on Chemistry you have a smaller universe from which to choose from. Many people say this is less overwhelming. You have to move forward or decline people’s profile in order to get new matches at a certain point.
Then you have to answer and ask certain prescribed questions before you get to the time you can communicate by email freely with that person. Some people prefer this structured way to communicate to ensure a certain level of interest and information is passed among the couple.
Some people find the process tedious and more time consuming. So what do you do? One of my clients is on both Chemistry and Match although I don’t recommend doing this. I do recommend trying one for at least 3 months and see whom you attract. If you are not satisfied, then try the other site.
I don’t recommend the “free weekends” many sites offer. That’s just a tease and you get some matches, and you are really not invested in the process. And you are really not making yourself available to date. I recommend with any of these online dating sites, you commit to at least 3 months. If then, you are not satisfied, then, move to another one.
It would be great if you meet your true love from online dating like so many have. However, you may not. If you meet some interesting people who may turn out to be friends, then perhaps you will feel the time you spent online was well worth it!
P.S. If you would like to have better success attracting the right people with your internet dating profile consider Coach Amy’s Internet Dating Profile Review Service or joining Coach Amy’s Get Love Right summer tele-coaching group at www.GetLoveRight.com.