Dana, an attractive 38 year old woman came to coaching because she considers herself Motivated to Marry and was looking to find true love, get married and have a family. Not so unusual, right?
In addition, she wants to advance herself in her career and is taking a graduate course, moving into a new condo in 2 months (to be closer to work and cut her commute time) and has a demanding job that requires that she works weekends.
So what’s wrong with this picture?
Let me ask you, would you date Dana (If you are a woman, just think of Dana as a Dan!) And if not, what would be your reasons?
If Dana met the right guy tomorrow and he was ready for a relationship, would she be ready to give her all to a relationship? I think not.
I have observed that there is a certain pacing in a relationship when a couple live in the same town or city (about a 30 minute drive or less). When the connection does happen, and both people are smitten, then there is a mutual expectation about spending a good chunk of their free time together.
Most likely the couple will spend time at least ones day on the weekends and even meet for dinner date or an activity date once or twice a week.
However, when you are dating trying to find true love, and you finally meet someone that has potential, then if you tell that person that you are too busy, then, he or she may pass on you especially if they are Motivated to Marry and are seeking someone who is ready and willing to move forward with a relationship. And men especially, may assume you are not interested in them when you tell them, “I am busy”.
So how do you let someone know that you are interested and available despite your other commitments?
First, it’s important not to be over scheduled when you are putting effort into finding true love. Try to leave time in your schedule for dating even when you are taking a class or working on moving, or changing jobs.
Also, make sure you explain your situation clearly so he or she gets the point that moving is a temporary situation. You may even ask his or help if you get a chance to have that first date and it goes well.
When I was single and seriously searching to find true love, I experienced the loss of potential relationship because men perceived me as being too busy for them. I had met my husband 5 years prior to us reconnecting and also missed the chance for us to connect. We had gone on one date, and as a boutique owner with shopping trips and other business commitments, Alan thought I was too busy for a serious relationship. At that time he never asked me for a second date.
Fortunately, for me, we saw each other at an event 5 years later! And I was in a much better place to be available to be involved in a committed relationship!
As a professional life coach I look at my client’s whole life, my clients personal and professional goals to make sure that there is time and space in my their life for finding true love and building a budding relationship. Many times my clients need to shift their priorities and time commitments to make the time and have the energy for a new relationship.
So how many dating opportunities have you missed because you are just too busy for finding true love or for a person who you meet that may have potential?
And what do you need to do to change that perception and show that you have time and a desire for a significant relationship? And yet, you do not want to appear as if you are sitting around and waiting for someone to show up?
The answer lies in creating greater balance in your life. And to put yourself around quality people who can lead you to finding your true love partner. This is true for you no matter if you have never been married like Dana, a divorced single parent or a widowed with grown children. In addition, I believe it’s important to be able to communicate to your potential partner what your life vision looks like for the next 5 years or even 10 years, if possible. And also to see if someone shares your critical relationship values so that your relationship will have what it takes to sustain itself for the long haul.
A true and lasting love partner is what most my Motivated to Marry clients are looking for a this point in their lives. If you want to be ready for true love when a quality person shows up in your life, then I recommend you set the stage now so you will be prepared for such a momentous event to occur in your life.
I recently had a Facebook Video Training on the subject of being ready for love when it shows up. To watch the training, go to www.Facebook.com/groups/MotivatedtoMarry/ and join us.
Wishing you the best of love and life,
PS: To get support in creating the time and space in your life for finding true love so you can be ready when your true love partner shows up, then go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com and let’s find a time for us to connect. I’d love to get you going with my proven system for attracting and building a long term, committed relationship.