Woman contemplating what's stopping her from finding love in her 40s.

What’s Stopping You From Finding Love in Your 40s?

13 July 2023

If you’re 40-something and still looking for love, chances are you ask yourself a lot of questions about why you’re not happily coupled. I know I asked myself a lot of questions after my divorce. One of the questions, I kept coming back to again and again back then was, “What’s stopping me from finding love in my 40s?”

Woman contemplating what's stopping her from finding love in her 40s.

Of course, if you’ve been following me for a while, you know that I worked with a coach to help me answer that question and so many others. And you also know that I found the love of my life, my husband, Alan, when I was in my 40s.

So, not only do I know exactly what you’re going through, but I also know why finding love in your 40s is so difficult, and how to make it easier.

Let’s start with why it’s so difficult to find love when you’re 40+. If you’re in your 40s there are many reasons love can be elusive: 

  1. You haven’t made peace with your past failed relationships. The ghosts from your past haunt you, and maybe you harbor hopes that things will work out someday soon.  

  2. You don’t trust yourself to choose well. So you’re not even really looking.

  3. You’re too busy with other parts of your life like your career, graduate school, a hobby, your friends, or other commitments.

  4. You’re too busy taking care of your children, your sibling’s kids, or elderly parents. Because you’re single, everyone leans on you for support.

  5. You don’t stay home much and often travel for business or pleasure. This makes it hard to plan dates and establish a relationship. You’re never around for when you do get asked out.

  6. You’re fairly content with your life as it is. So, you’re not willing to make any major changes such as moving to a new city, or into a new house.

  7. You’re introverted and your work and life responsibilities take up most of your energy. Therefore, you don’t have much energy to go out to meet new people or for dating activities. You have to do your chores and self-care on the weekends.

  8. You’re more comfortable socializing with your close friends and family. So you don’t make the effort to meet new people and expand your social network.

  9. Your standards are very high and no one meets them. You keep pushing away good prospects.

  10. You’re fairly shy and don’t know that someone is interested in you. You’ve missed key clues to either ask for a date or that someone wants a date from you.  

All in all, there’s really only one reason you’re having difficulty finding love in your 40s. You’re not putting in the time and/or the energy to open up the space for love to come into your life.

A life partner wants to know that you have time for them. So, you need to start creating that time now – before you’ve found “the one”.

The good news is that many of my clients are finding love in their 40s. Some are finding it for the first time, others are finding it after losing a relationship, and others are finding it after a divorce. Just like I did.

As a professional life and relationship coach, I often help my clients improve their work-life balance or support them in setting better boundaries with their friends and family members so they can have more time for dating.

If you’re in your 40s and want to find true love, then let’s talk. Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com to learn more about how Motivated to Marry Relationship Coaching can help you find true love – just like it’s helped hundreds of singles from their 30s to their 70s find true love!

It’s your choice. You can stay where you are. You can talk with me and do something positive to make space for lasting love to come into your life. You can learn the critical relationship skills you need to get love right this time! Which do you choose?