Isn’t it wonderful to see older folks enjoying each other’s company? It’s always been inspiring to me. You can tell these couples have a long-lasting love because they still hold hands and just seem to fit together.

This is the type of relationship most of us yearn for. We all imagine growing old with that someone special.

A mature couple dancing amongst fallen leaves basking in their long-lasting love.

Yet, if you’ve had your heart broken, you may be even more convinced that you’ll want your next love to be long-lasting. Although, it may have eluded you up to now, finding long-lasting love is possible.

Most seriously searching singles reach the point of being tired of the continuous merry-go-round of meeting and hoping that this person is the one. Of having high expectations only to be disappointed by yet another failed relationship.

If this sounds familiar, you’re probably becoming afraid of sharing your dreams and your soul with someone only to have your heart broken again.

I was there after my divorce, so I truly get it.

Yet it is possible to find long-lasting love. I know because I’ve done it and I’ve helped hundreds of others do it too.

There’s something comforting and affirming about building shared experiences and history with someone. About having private jokes that only the two of you get. About feeling safe and cared for by your partner. These are things that can only happen when you have a loving, long-term partner.

If you’re seeking a deeply committed relationship, then let me share with you 7 characteristics of long-lasting love:

  1. There must be a steadfast commitment by both to the relationship in good times and bad.

    Relationships aren’t just about the good times. It’s important to be there for each other during the tough times too. The tough times, things like a health crisis, a sick family member, or a job loss can really test a relationship.

    Partners need each other to lean on and depend on during the bad times and share in the joys and celebrations of the good times.

  2. You have to be each other’s best friends and have each other’s back.

    Being a loyal friend is an important part of a healthy partnership. You know you can trust him/her with your secrets and that s/he will stick up for you if someone else tries to hurt you.

    You’re stronger because you know your partner has your back. You may even be willing and able to take greater risks to achieve your dreams because you know s/he is there for you.

  3. You respect each other’s differences and are willing to find common ground.

    No two people are alike. You have your own mind, opinions, emotions, and thoughts. And your partner does too.

    So, you and s/he will disagree at times. However, listening to each other’s point of view, showing you understand their position (although you may not agree with it), and respecting your partner are all very important to building long-lasting love and maintaining the relationship.

    If you criticize or belittle your partner, don’t be surprised if they contemplate a way out. People won’t tolerate being put down by someone for too long.

  4. You have your own interests and some shared interests too.

    It’s OK to develop your interests and have your own friends when you’re in a committed relationship.

    Most couples thrive on quality time together and time for their individual interests and friends.

    And some couples thrive on being together for long periods of time. However, most couples I know have a balance between time together and time apart.

  5. You’re each other’s cheerleaders and support each other’s dreams and desires.

    Having a supportive partner is very important to most of my clients. You want to be in a relationship with someone who is proud of your accomplishments and proud to be your partner.

    If you have a particular dream, you want his/her support in it. Typical dreams that are easier to achieve with the loving support of your partner are starting a business, changing careers, going back to school, and taking up a new hobby or interest.

    And if you don’t feel supported, then it will be harder for you to stay in the relationship.

    In successful couples, each partner is the other’s biggest fan. And they support each other to get what they want out of life.

  6. You find ways to have fun and make each other laugh.

    You know the saying, “All work and no play …” We connect with our partners because we enjoy being with them.

    Relationships are fun in the beginning and then life often seems to get in the way. You can get bogged down with work, family responsibilities, and other commitments. When you get bogged down, it’s easy to lose the fun in the relationship.

    How do you continue to have fun in the relationship?

    How do you make each other laugh?

    Couples that have long-lasting love have this ability to laugh at themselves and their situations. They find time to have fun and spend quality time together no matter what else is going on in their lives.

  7. You put the needs of your partner above the needs of your adult children, parents, siblings, or friends – in most cases.

    This goes with number 5 above. When a partner feels their needs are subjugated by a parent or an adult child (fully functioning and living independently), and their concerns aren’t considered, then s/he will likely feel slighted. S/he may even look to leave the relationship.

    For a sustainable, long-lasting love relationship, each partner must work to acknowledge and meet the other’s needs and concerns. The bond between a man and a woman who are in a committed relationship must be primary for the relationship to last the test of time. (Of course, there are exceptions such as young children, special needs children, and older parents who need primary care and attention.)

By keeping these practices in mind and following them with your partner in your everyday life, you’ll give your relationship the best chance to find and maintain long-lasting love.

If you want to discuss how to give your future or current relationship the best chance for success, then let’s talk. Go to and we’ll find a time to connect.

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