“A love to last a lifetime” is a phrase we hear in love songs to inspire us to dream about the kind of love most of us truly want. Books and movies have been written on this subject. It’s a quest for the holy grail of love!
Is it really possible to have a love to last a lifetime?
Maybe a place to start is to ask yourself another question. Do you know anyone who was in love with the same person for most of their life?
I do. I know several couples.
My grandparents met when they were in high school in the Lower East Side of New York. They were 16 years old. And by the time they were 19, they were married.
My grandfather was smitten with my grandmother. They were so happy together. They celebrated over 70 years of marriage.
A 70th anniversary is very rare today. Even 50 years of marriage is considered a major accomplishment.
So how do you create a love to last a lifetime?
First, you both need to have a commitment to the relationship — through good times and bad.
I call this the “stickiness” factor. As a couple, you need to be tenacious.
Unfortunately, not everyone who’s married remains committed to their relationship. It’s a sad fact of our times.
For a relationship to make it today you have to have the confidence that your partner is going to be there for you, no matter what. (Of course, this also requires that you’re both respectful of each other, and have trust and faithfulness.)
Second, you both are willing to do the work on the relationship.
You’re open to hearing each other’s needs and accommodating one another. You’re able to discuss the hard stuff and not avoid tough issues that come up.
Each of you tries to understand the other and put yourself in the other’s shoes. You truly “get” where s/he is coming from and practice empathy.
When you’re creating a love to last a lifetime, you’re willing to get help from a third party if your relationship needs that kind of support. And you don’t run away from one another when things get tough.
To create a love to last a lifetime, as a couple you embrace flexibility.
Sometimes you need to give more, and other times your partner needs to give more.
Here’s an example. My mom agreed to a second home in the mountains of western Massachusetts because that’s what my father wanted. What she really would have loved was a house near the beach. However, Mom knew where she wanted to travel, and Dad was happy to accommodate her. Their marriage lasted over 40 years until my dad passed.
And last, but not least, to create a love to last a lifetime, you have to appreciate your partner and all their fine qualities.
It’s easy to look at their faults, and that will have you looking for the door. We can always look outside the relationship and dream of something better. However, it’s just that, a dream. None of us are perfect. Reminding yourself of all the wonderful qualities your partner has will keep you grounded in the relationship.
In this day and age, having a love to last a lifetime is a lofty goal. And with the right partner, it doesn’t have to be hard. Remember to look for these qualities and find a person who shares your motivation to have a love to last a lifetime.
If you’re ready for a love to last a lifetime, let’s talk! Go to www.TalkwithCoachAmy.com and discover how Motivated to Marry Coaching can help.