True love looks like this couple staring into each other's eyes.

What Does True Love Look Like? Here’s What to Look For

03 August 2023

One of the questions I hear from my clients is, “What does true love look like?” Often they’re recovering from a toxic or unfulfilling relationship or marriage. So, they truly want to know the answer to this question.

Having a picture of what true love looks like is very important. Like anything, you need to know what you’re looking for. And it’s only once you know what you’re looking for that you can recognize “true love” when it shows up. 

Luckily, what love doesn’t look like is pretty obvious. And sometimes it’s easiest to start with what it isn’t so we can more easily know what it is.

Here are some things that we can all agree are not what love looks like:

  • Someone who doesn’t follow through on what they say.
  • They contact you sporadically, and you never know where you stand.
  • They love you and leave you!
  • Someone who you can’t trust.
  • Someone who wants you to be something you’re not!

Take a good look at the list above. It can give some great insight into what true love looks like because true love is the opposite of what’s on the list.

So, what does true love look like? It looks something like this:

  • Your partner shows a desire to spend time with you – in real life!
  • They’ll travel to see you.
  • They plan things with you to make sure you’re available. 
  • They touch base with you almost every day!
  • They call when they say they will and will let you know if they’ll be late.
  • You know you can count on them when you need them.

But this isn’t the whole picture, so let’s look at what true love is from another angle. Looking back at several of my newly coupled clients, this is what I see true love looking like:

  • My client’s girlfriend called him to make sure he got home safely after driving home that night.
  • A couple spent 11 hours one weekend day on Zoom because he was in the US while she was in Australia.
  • My male client agonized about finding the perfect gift to give his girlfriend.
  • My client’s boyfriend was there to take care of her when she got her hip replaced.
  • My client’s boomer boyfriend trained with her for her trip to climb a mountain in the Alps. He walked over 5 miles a day with her.
  • My client moved to his fiancé’s community 60 minutes away from his job so she could be with her family and friends. And he continued to commute to his job which was an hour away.
  • My client’s boyfriend ordered dozens of her delicious muffins for his family and friends.
  • My client’s boyfriend wrote her a romantic poem.
  • A 40-something male client took a trip to Vietnam to meet his girlfriend’s family and to ask for her hand in marriage.
  • My client wrote several letters before her trip to Alaska where she knew they would be out of touch for at least a week so he could hear from her during that time.

Now that you have these examples, what does true love look like for you?

You get to envision and decide what true love looks like for you. What are the important qualities you want your life partner to have? Loyalty, someone to count on, someone with whom you share your innermost thoughts, someone to fight fair with you and know they’ll stick it out.

One of my clients admired his parents’ marriage and described it to me. He said it was “enduring”. Isn’t that what we all want? For our partner to stick with us during the bad times as well as the good times? 

And what I hear most often is that people want chemistry with their life partner, but they also want their partner to be their best friend.  

That’s what true love looks like. Never give up on love! 

It’s within your grasp if you’re willing to work for it. I can show you how to find such a person and know if he or she’s the one. If you’re ready to meet your mate this year, let’s talk! Click the link in the comments to set up a complimentary “Meet Your Mate” Strategy Session.

Now is a great time to begin coaching so you’ll be ready to meet that special person this fall – when many singles are putting energy into meeting someone before the year’s end.

Visit to complete the form and schedule a time for us to talk.