If you’re single, marriage-minded, and trying to tackle the dating world on your own, you may wonder, “What does a dating coach do? And could I have better success in dating if I had one?”
Perhaps you’ve been relying on “old-school” ways of meeting the love of your life. After all, 39% of people in relationships meet their partners through friends. Another 15% meet at work, and another 12% meet just by going out to bars and other social venues.
Of course, the downside of relying on friends is that you’re not the only one with a vested interest in the fix-up. What happens if things don’t work out between you and the person your friends thought would be perfect for you? Awkward.
Think about all the things that can go wrong if things don’t go right. Would you both still be comfortable working together?
Companies have good reason to think about things like liability when workplace romances ignite and then fizzle. What if someone wants to claim sexual harassment? What if the relationship is between a supervisor and a subordinate, and other employees claim favoritism or discrimination?
So, what does a dating coach do that you can’t do just as well on your own?
Finding true love in the normal course of life may work fine for some people. But it may not be working so well for you. And that’s where a dating coach comes in.
First of all, a dating coach does more than just work for you. She works with you. She becomes part of your journey in an integral way. She is there to help you find love by guiding you through the personal development that will highlight your strengths.
In a nutshell, a dating coach is a relationship expert who helps set you up to succeed in your dating and relationship life, and finally “click” with your soulmate.
What does a dating coach do? Here are some highlights of a coach’s work:
- A dating coach helps you identify your desires.Can you quickly articulate what you want in a mate, a relationship and life? A dating coach knows the questions to ask to help you come to a clear answer. Once you know what you want, your coach can help you build a strategy for getting it.
- A dating coach helps you develop and strengthen your interpersonal skills.Not great at talking and giving someone your undivided attention? A coach will use a variety of methods, from role-playing to behavior modeling, to make you comfortable in conversation. She will also give you tips for having conversations that flow.
- A dating coach helps you love yourself so you can love someone else.When you’re focused on finding love, it’s easy to forget that you need to love yourself first.That may sound cliché, but sooner or later your view of yourself will determine your success in a relationship with someone else. A low self-esteem will never help you attract a marriage-minded mate with great relationship skills.What does a dating coach do when you want to find lasting love but haven’t learned to love yourself yet? She narrows her focus to you and your personal development.She connects you to information, resources, and activities that will reveal your strengths. And she helps you learn how to use them so the right kind of partner will notice and be attracted to those qualities.
- A dating coach helps you with your online dating strategy.If you are one of the 40 million Americans using online dating, you know how important it is to have an attracting profile.Perhaps you’ve winged it on your own. Perhaps you’ve asked friends to help you. Perhaps you think your profile is stellar.If so, then ask yourself, “Why haven’t I met Ms./Mr. Right yet?”A dating coach, however, knows what to look for and what your desired match is going to be looking for. She will help you present yourself in the best light and with just enough intrigue to make the right candidates want to know more.
(And she will help you date safely and has a keen eye for spotting scams.)
- A dating coach shows you where to meet high-quality people.What does a dating coach do that a matchmaker doesn’t do? It’s a great question because there is, in fact, a big difference.A dating coach isn’t trying to find the right female to match with her male client, nor vice versa. She’s working to help you be the best person you can be so you can attract someone who is his or her best self and is looking for a serious life partner.She knows the places and activities that will maximize the chances for marriage-minded people. And all of her recommendations are based on what is best for you, your personality, your values, and your goals.
- A dating coach helps you hold onto a relationship you want to keep.Relationships don’t go straight from the first date to the altar. They develop over time. And for couples who are marriage-minded, there can be a lot of insecurity about doing things right.A dating coach can help you with your communication and relationship skills once you are actually dating someone. After all, your coach has built a professional relationship with you in order to help you along your entire dating journey.
How do you know when it’s time to consider hiring a dating coach? Here are some questions that will help you decide if searching for love with expert guidance is the right next step for you.
- Do I not have enough time to date? Do I work too much? What does a dating coach do that could help me achieve work-life-love balance?
- Am I fuzzy on my vision of the future? Do I have a firm view on marriage and children?
- Could my online profile use some polishing? Do I present well so my desired match can find me online?
- Do I really know what I should be looking for in an online match? Am I confident in my ability to analyze online profiles and respond to the best candidates? Would I recognize a scam if I saw one?
- Am I shy and/or socially awkward? Could I use some help becoming a better conversationalist?
- Have I been out of the dating scene for a long time or never had a long-term relationship? What does a dating coach do that can make me look and feel natural in the dating world? And in a relationship?
- Do I know the best places to meet the best people?
- Do I present myself as attractively as I could, both physically and behaviorally? Could I use some help knowing how to present myself better?
No matter how you go about meeting other marriage-minded people who are potential love interests, putting your best self forward is key. And there is no shame in reaching out for help to make that happen.
To the contrary, including a professional dating coach from the start of your dating journey is a positive statement. Having a dating coach reminds you that you’re worth having the best chance at the best relationship and life possible and help you stay hopeful that a loving relationship is just around the corner.
And it sends a message to the person lucky enough to date you that he or she was worth the effort.