You pick up your phone or open your computer to go to your dating app of choice, but within minutes, you feel exhausted. You know you need to review a few profiles, maybe respond to a message or two, but your heart, the same one so longing for love, just isn’t into it. It’s not that you’re bored or lacking direction; it’s dating app fatigue.

During the pandemic of 2020, the online dating industry exploded, with more users than ever and more apps being created in order to stave off the isolation of lockdown. In the 5 years since, online dating has become the #1 way singles meet their spouses.

In fact, 80% of my successfully coupled clients have met their partners online. And this trend continues to be true. While this may seem great for romance, in recent years, the term “dating app fatigue” has emerged, with many singles frustrated and overwhelmed with the entire process. 

Unfortunately, many singles assume their dating app fatigue means that online dating just doesn’t work for them. Or that they’re the problem. That they are doing something wrong.

Can you relate? The good news is that the problem isn’t that you are unlovable or destined to be alone. The problem isn’t even the dating apps and sites themselves, even if some are better than others. 

No, in my experience, the biggest reason so many singles succumb to dating app fatigue is simply going into it without any specific dating strategy for success. 

Think about these common complaints of online dating: 

• Too much effort with too little payoff
• Inconsistent responses, ghosting, or mismatched intentions
• Inappropriate intimate advances and images
• A revolving door of swipe, match, chat, ghost, repeat
• Trying to squeeze online dating into the margins of an already busy life 

All of these common frustrations with online dating apps can be avoided. It starts with giving yourself time and space for connection, choosing apps that match your goals, and following a clear dating plan that provides direction and accountability.

1. Time for Dating and Connection

   Gwen was a divorced client of mine who was a single mother, a successful business owner, and enjoyed a healthy friend group. She dreamed of finding lasting love, but at the end of the day, there was literally no time. 
   
   Through coaching, we discussed how she could create time and space for dating, even if it meant sacrificing something else for a time. She realized that love was more important and scaled back her work life so she could take dating out of the margins.  
   
   In doing so, she ultimately found love, got married, and established a healthier life-work balance for her, her husband, and their family. 
   

2. Finding the Right Dating App/Site

   Globally, there are hundreds of online dating platforms. Some are fairly vanilla, promising love to everyone, everywhere, while others are significantly more niche. The larger, more accommodating apps boast a HUGE database of singles looking for everything from a casual friendship to marriage and family.
   
   On the other hand, smaller niche dating sites cater to very specific demographics. Everything from religion and ethnicity to lifestyle, age/life stage, and so much more. If you are finding yourself fatigued and burnt out from dating apps, consider looking into a new app or site. Changing it up to something more aligned with your goals may be the way to find your happily-ever-after. 
   

3. Creating and Sticking to a Dating Plan

   Kim, an active Boomer,  had been widowed for 18 years when she started coaching with me. During that time, she had opened and closed many dating profiles.
   
   “It was a long 18 years. I’d go out and have a bad experience. And I’d be like a little turtle: shut the dating site down, shut my profile down. And then the desire would kinda rise back up”.
   
   Without a clear dating strategy, she fell prey to dating app fatigue over and over again. While coaching, we were able to create a dating strategy to improve her online practices, keep her focused, and maintain accountability when she got frustrated or distracted. 
   
   Very quickly, she met Doug, and they have been inseparable ever since! 

If you are at the point of dating burnout and considering quitting, let me encourage you not to give up.

You’ve likely been working very hard to find love, but like anything else, true, lasting love means working smarter.

Don’t feel bad. You are not the problem. How you’re going about utilizing the apps, on the other hand, might be. 

You don’t know what you don’t know. So before you delete all your existing profiles or give up on dating altogether, it’s time to consider a new way to date online. One where you will feel empowered and in control. One where dating app fatigue won’t even have time to catch up with you.

If you’d like support creating a clear, intentional dating strategy that works, reach out and let’s talk about how coaching can help you move forward with confidence.

Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com and let’s find a time to connect!

How do you know if you are truly ready for lasting love? Take my FREE “Are You Ready to Meet Your Mate” Quiz, and find out! Go to  https://motivatedtomarry.com/quiz/ today!

About the Author

is a certified life coach and dating/relationship expert who has helped hundreds of marriage-minded singles find lasting, committed partnerships since 2005. Through private coaching and group programs, she specializes in helping people date with clarity, confidence, and purpose.