It seems that in your early dating relationships, unlike our justice system, you consider someone guilty until proven innocent. I have seen many examples of this with my clients in situations where my clients would jump to a negative conclusion in their dating relationships and almost missed out on a wonderful relationship.
One of my male 40-year-old clients was dating online and saw a profile he liked. He looked at the picture and almost dismissed her because of the photo. When he asked me to look at the photo and what I thought, I looked at the picture and said that I thought that she would look better in person given it was a poorly taken photo. I encouraged him to meet her. As it turned out, she did look much better in person and they clicked immediately. They did end up marrying.
Another 38-year-old female client met someone online who she thought was cute where they had some chemistry. In their early conversations, she found out the man she was communicating with had moved out of his girlfriend’s house a month ago and he was technically “homeless”. She was disappointed to hear this and almost ditched this budding relationship because of his current homeless status. I encouraged her to get more information before saying,“bye-bye” to this man.
As it turned out, he was a gainfully employed attorney and he was staying with his family while he seek out a new living arrangement for himself. And there was good cause for the break up that satisfied her reservations about getting involved in a dating relationship with someone just out of a long-term relationship.