For many the Holiday Season means more time spent with our families. This can be especially hard for singles – especially those who are recently divorced or separated, who have younger siblings who are married with children or who have judgmental family members. However, my relationship advice for singles in these situations is to plan ahead before you visit with your family.
One of my clients jokingly told me that he wished he could hire an escort to take home for the Holidays so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the constant questioning about being single. Obviously he didn’t really want to resort to this, but anticipating the pitying remarks that often come from well meaning family members are difficult for some singles.
Remarks like, “you’re so handsome, you will meet someone” or, “you’re such a nice girl, you have so much to offer” may come from a place of love, but often come across as patronizing. My relationship advice is to proactively counteract such remarks. Let your family members know that these comments bother you and ask that they not make them, especially in front of the other family members. Your family probably doesn’t realize that such comments can be hurtful and will avoid the topic once they realize you are bothered by these comments. Once they have been made aware, you’ll be able to better enjoy the spirit of the season and your time with your family.