Marriage-minded people are also serious-minded when it comes to their dating. They know they’re going to have to do some work to find Mr./Ms. Right. And they’re willing to ask for help to make sure their search is effective. That means friends and family, online dating, group activities, hiring a dating coach, and even investing in high-end matchmaking services.
But some of those strategies can get costly — both in terms of money and in terms of time. We are talking over $10,000! I recommend that you do your homework first. After all, your end goal may be worthy, but you want an effective plan with expert guidance to get you there.
The choices of dating professionals can get confusing. In addition to all the online dating sites, there are dating coaches, matchmakers, and even high-end matchmaking services. How are you supposed to know what is worth your trust, time…and money?
As a dating coach, I work with clients from start to finish, and I care about everything in-between. I’m not a personal matchmaker. But I get to know my clients thoroughly so I can direct them to the best sources for potential matches.
My clients and I work together to explore their relationship goals. We review their dating histories and challenges. We work on personal development, self-esteem, social skills, presentation, and communication. And we develop a strategy for their dating lives.
I am, as my title indicates, a life and relationship coach. I guide my clients into the best versions of themselves and into their best chances for finding lasting love. We look at how dating is fitting into your whole life plan. The strategies we create are well-rounded and include an online presence, social activities, and personal introductions. I don’t leave any stones unturned.
A matchmaker, on the other hand, is a “pairing professional.” S/he finds high-potential matches for (usually) paying clients. The emphasis is on what the client is looking (and paying) for. The matchmaker may have candidates on-file or may have to go searching for them outside his/her internal database.
High-end matchmaking services grabbed a lot of attention with TV shows like Millionaire Matchmaker. The Bravo reality show followed matchmaker Patti Stanger as she matched wealthy clients with (supposedly) compatible dates.
And the Bachelor and Bachelorette series still keep singles starry-eyed and fantasizing about mansions, perfect bodies, and season-ending engagements.
But back to the real world where real people are looking for real love….
Should you invest in high-end matchmaking services? How do you know what you’re getting, if anything? And what makes “high-end” so… “high-end”? Even Millionaire Matchmaker had its share of untelevised deceptions that would make any potential client think twice about his or her investment.
Here are a few positives of working with high-end matchmaking services.
- Saves you time.
You don’t have to scroll through all those online profiles and filter out the messages from members who would never be a match for you. The matchmaker pre-screens and selects clients and potential matches. You just have to trust…and be willing to say ‘yes’ when s/he fixes you up.
- Clients are high-quality.
Most of the paying clients of these services are extremely successful and financially well-off. They can afford to have someone screen out the “non-matches.” They tend to be well-educated, cultured, and physically very attractive. And most of them are people you most likely wouldn’t find on dating apps or sites.
- Sometimes you can get in for free.
High-end matchmaking services know that, just because their paying clients are wealthy, not everyone of interest to them is.
For this reason, a matchmaker may allow you to be included in the service’s database for a low fee or at no charge. You’ll have to be a good candidate with a stellar profile to keep on file. You may or may not be called and offered a date with a paying client.
And here are some negatives that you should consider before convincing yourself that high-end matchmaking services are the answer to your dating dreams.
- The costs can be off-the-charts.
Most of the matchmakers charge between $8,000 and $1,000,000. They offer a variety of packages that guarantee a certain number of dates in a certain amount of time. And some will offer international services for a higher fee. And your “wish list” will affect the cost, too.
When you consider the cost per date offered, you’ll really need to think about your investment and what it guarantees…or doesn’t.
- Most require a contract.
You may have to sign a one- to two-year contract. What if you meet the person with whom you want to be exclusive after only six months? Can you pause your contract?
- Most have stringent physical requirements.
They may not say it out loud, but high-end matchmakers like to fill their databases with “beautiful” — even “famous.” Remember, their job is to fulfill their clients’ wishes. And their paying clients can afford to have what they want. I even knew of an instance where one of the high-end matchmakers required a woman to get plastic surgery and lose 50 pounds before she would take this woman on as a client!
- You will pay extra for everything.
Want a mixer event with a guaranteed number of candidates to meet? It could cost you $30,000 to $40,000. One mixer. One night. No guarantee of “forever.” Want your matchmaker to offer you coaching services? That will cost extra, too.
- The interview will cost you.
Even if you are accepted to be part of the database at no charge, the preliminary interview will probably cost you. And that detailed conversation could cost you upwards of $500.
- You don’t get to search and initiate connections.
They call it matchmaking for a reason. And, while it can be convenient to have someone else doing all the screening work, you might want more involvement. Sometimes you just want to know who’s in the database and how the matchmaker is making her/his decisions. Sometimes you don’t even get to see a photo of the prospect!
And you are fortunate to get more than one match per month. I have known clients to have to follow up frequently and ask for when they will get a match!
- You will still have to do the upfront work.
Everything my clients and I do together during our coaching relationship is work I recommend you do BEFORE hiring matchmaker.
You will have to know who you are and what you want from your life and your partner. And your profile will have to reflect your confidence and aptitude in relationships.
If you want to be in a high-end matchmaking database without paying, be prepared to present yourself as a desirable candidate.
- Love isn’t guaranteed.
Even some high-end matchmaking services send candidates to clients just to fill a required quota. Someone who is paying that much money expects (and deserves) regular, quality introductions.
But not every introduction is really a good fit — and sometimes the matchmaker knows that. However, they are required to make so many matches per month so they’ll set you up with a questionable prospect that is in your age range and other superficial requirements.
Even in the best circumstances, the probability of lasting love still comes down to the two people being introduced and a connection occurring.
Whether or not you decide to invest in high-end matchmaking services, do your homework up front. Know what you want and what you have to offer to a relationship. And be honest about why you would consider investing in a very expensive, exclusive service.
In the long run, your success in dating will always come down to your self-awareness, self-confidence, communication skills, decision-making skills and enthusiasm. Those are all extremely attractive qualities. Since my clients meet their true love through other means, you most like don’t need to spend $1million to have a one-in-a-million relationship.
PS: If you’re ready to learn my proven methodology to meet your true love, then schedule a Meet Your Mate Strategy Session with me. Visit www.TalkwithCoachAmy.com today and schedule a time for us to talk. Limited slots available, so do so ASAP!