A Guy who planned valentine's day giving his gal a present.

Should the Guy Plan Valentine’s Day?

08 February 2024

What do you think? Should the guy plan Valentine’s Day? 

There are many variables here when you ask this question! 

  1. Are you the guy or the gal?

    If you ask a woman, “Should the guy plan Valentine’s Day?” I’m sure she’d say, “Hell, yeah!” As women we want romance and to feel that we’re important. So, we do want the guy to plan Valentine’s Day. We do everything else for our partner and our family! This is the one day we get to be queen for the day!

    However, if you ask the guy, “Should the guy plan Valentine’s Day?” he may say, “Why is it all up to me? She’s so particular anyway so I just let her plan it!” He continues, “She planned the wedding, our social outings, and where we travel. So, I’ll let her plan Valentine’s Day too. That way she’ll get what she wants. I’ll just show up and pay the bill!”

    So goes the battle of the sexes!
  2. How long have you been dating or married?

    Romance is budding and fresh with a new relationship. Almost every man wants to impress his lady and make a big effort to plan a special day for his new sweetheart. He may go all out with flowers, candy, and a candlelit dinner at a swanky restaurant.

    However, consider if you have kids and you’ve been married for 10 years. Should the guy plan Valentine’s Day? Maybe not. Then, add in kids and Valentine’s Day can get expensive very quickly. You’d have to get the babysitter (unless you have a family member willing to babysit available), and you’d be going out to eat at a restaurant on the most expensive day of the year. Restaurants tend to hike up their prices with pre-fixed meals and other add-on items such as flowers for your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day. 

    Perhaps the grandparents, if you’re lucky to have them, can take the kids so you can have a romantic night out together. Even a quiet evening at home. Then who’s going to cook? Most women desire to be given a break from their domestic duties. So should the guy plan Valentine’s Day? I highly recommend he does. It will earn him favors in the bedroom, for sure!
  3. Are you a traditional couple or a new-age couple?

    With the traditional male-female relationship, it’s expected that the man plans Valentine’s Day for all the reasons cited above. So again, the expected gender roles come into play about who’s expected to plan Valentine’s Day.

    However, if you’re a new-age couple that values shared decision-making and the woman would be offended by the male taking the lead, then perhaps this is something that the couple would plan together.

    Of course, the gifts are something that each person usually pick out on their own to delightfully surprise their partner.
  4. What are the couple’s expectations of one another?

    Every person comes into a relationship with expectations. And it’s the responsibility of each person to share their expectations of one another. One person expects a fancy dinner out with all the typical Valentine’s Day gifts (chocolates, flowers and balloons plus jewelry!) and displays of affection.

    The other part of the couple may be perfectly happy with a romantic dinner at home. Some people feel that food is love and making their partner’s favorite dishes can be an aphrodisiac! Then, you’re at the perfect place to enjoy intimate moments. Who plans for this evening? Lots depends upon who is the cook in the family and willing to put the effort into it!
  5. Who is the greater control freak of the couple?

    There is usually one person who’s the perfectionist in a relationship. That person is usually the planner and wants things just “so”. It doesn’t mean it’s the guy who should plan Valentine’s Day if he’s the more laid-back partner. It could be the woman who’s the one who makes the dinner reservations and plans for the romantic evening. The man just may have a high-stress job and the woman may want to relieve him of the pressure of planning a romantic evening.

    Much depends on the personalities of each of the people in the relationship and the one that cares most about the outcome. Who has the time and the inclination to plan is also a factor.  
  6. What’s the financial situation of the couple?

    How the couple feels about money matters in thinking about whether the guy plans Valentine’s Day. If the couple is very well set financially, then they may go to a fancy restaurant that would charge extra for a special Valentine’s Day dinner, buy expensive gifts, and even stay at the hotel that evening.

    However, if money is tight, then the couple may choose to have a low-key celebration. The couple may have a romantic dinner at home with candlelight, flowers, and soft music. The gifts may be practical and not too expensive. Flowers may come from a garden or the grocery store. This may just take more creativity to make it a special evening. So, should the guy plan Valentine’s Day? He sure can if he can cook spaghetti and meatballs and buy a heart-shaped cake at the supermarket!
  7. What are your love languages?

    When planning Valentine’s Day, each of your top love languages matters!

    If a guy is an “acts of service” person, then he’ll want to do something special for his woman to make her feel special and taken care of. And vice versa if the woman likes to do stuff for her man.

    If a guy is an “affirmation person”, he’ll write a sweet card or even write poetry for his true love.

    This can go on depending on one’s love language.

All in all, should a guy plan Valentine’s Day? My opinion is it’s a kind and loving gesture when he does. As you can see, there are many variables and those have to be taken into account when answering this question. 

Who’ll be planning your Valentine’s Day celebration? How can you create a fun and romantic evening for the both of you? 

If you’re still not sure, there are many resources out there. If you need some ideas, I found this helpful article: https://www.countryliving.com/entertaining/g5119/things-to-do-on-valentines-day/. Or you can Google, “How to plan a romantic Valentine’s Day”.

If you’re in a loving relationship, then have a wonderful Valentine’s Day! And if you’re not, let’s talk! Visit www.talkwithcoachamy.com to schedule some time for us to talk about how I can help you find your true love partner so you can enjoy Valentine’s Day next year with your new love interest!