We’ve all been there—what seems like a strong relationship suddenly feels uncertain. You care deeply for your partner, but something just feels off. One minute, your partner is affectionate and attentive, and the next, they seem distant or unavailable. These kinds of mixed signals can leave you confused, emotionally drained, and doubting the progress of your relationship.
If you’re having doubts about your relationship, it’s important to pay attention to the signs. Especially if you are expecting this person to be “the one” and you’re planning on forever with them.
Doubt doesn’t always show up as a big blowout or a breakup conversation—it often creeps in quietly through inconsistent behaviors and confusing moments. In my years as a relationship coach (and yes, even in my own dating experience), I’ve seen how easy it is to misread or overlook the signs. So today, I’m offering some direct relationship advice to help you see more clearly.
Here are 7 real-world examples of mixed signals that may indicate your partner isn’t ready—or willing—to move forward in a serious, committed relationship.
They haven’t introduced you to their friends or family, and you’ve been dating for over a year.
When someone is serious about you, they naturally want you to become part of their life, including meeting the people closest to them. If your partner is keeping you are arm’s length from their family, especially after months or even a year of dating, that’s a red flag.
They likely have perfectly logical reasons that, at first, made sense. “It’s too soon to tell the kids”, “My family is judgmental / They’ll just make things uncomfortable.”, “I love that it’s just us right now.”, “We haven’t been dating that long/You’ll meet them soon”. But after a few months, excuses like these show a startling lack of commitment. They may say they care, but their actions tell a different story. This kind of behavior sends mixed signals: It often means they’re hesitant to define the relationship publicly or emotionally, and that’s worth paying attention to.They don’t include you in future plans.
Is your partner making major decisions, like moving, changing jobs, or planning travel, without even mentioning how it might affect you? When someone avoids integrating you into their future, it can signal deep relationship doubts.
This is one of the clearest examples of mixed signals: they may say “we’re in this together,” but they’re making choices as if they’re still single. A marriage-minded partner sees you as part of their long-term vision.They don’t talk about marriage or family at all
For people who are dating with the goal of marriage, conversations about the future should happen naturally over time. If your partner consistently avoids or shuts down any discussion of marriage or having a family, you’re likely not on the same page.
If you’re having doubts about your relationship, this is a key area to examine closely. Your partner may enjoy the relationship as it is and, therefore, have no intention of moving forward. And while that may be fine for some, if you’re a marriage-minded person or someone who wants the certainty of the future, this silence can be deafening.
When push comes to shove, you may finally hear things like “I don’t believe in marriage”, “It’s just a piece of paper”, or “I don’t want to ever get married.” To avoid ending up here, make sure you are clearly communicating your relationship goals and values early on and don’t waste time with people who don’t share those goals openly.They keep putting off serious commitment talks
Do you feel like you can’t bring up “The Talk” about where things are going without your partner changing the subject, getting defensive, or brushing it off? That’s more than just a hesitation—it’s an emotional dodge.
Avoidance is a subtle way people show relationship doubts. Your partner might say, “We’re great together, why rush it?” while secretly being unsure whether they want a long-term commitment at all. Don’t ignore this kind of stalling; it’s one of the more painful but revealing examples of mixed signals.They prioritize everything else over you— kids, work, even the ex
While responsibilities like parenting or work are important, you should still feel like a priority. If you consistently feel like you’re last on their list or worse, like you’re an afterthought, that’s a serious issue.
This isn’t just about time; it’s about emotional investment. When your partner chooses everyone and everything over you, it’s not just painful- it’s a possible clue that they may be having relationship doubts. Someone who sees you as a life partner will make space for you emotionally and practically.They don’t invite you to special events, like a work/friend’s party or family events, even though others brought spouses or partners
This may seem like a small oversight, but it’s actually a big tell. When someone doesn’t want to bring you into their social or professional life, it suggests they’re not ready to be “seen” with you in a more permanent way.
This is a subtle but powerful example of mixed signals—a clear indicator that your relationship may be in a holding pattern. If you’re having doubts about your relationship, don’t overlook this one.They planned a weekend with friends and didn’t tell you until the last minute
Spontaneity is great in a relationship, but when major plans happen without your knowledge, it sends the message that you’re not being considered. This kind of disregard can leave you feeling invisible or unimportant.
A partner who’s invested in a future with you won’t hide their plans or keep you out of the loop. These behaviors aren’t just inconsiderate—they suggest a lack of emotional maturity and commitment.
Don’t Settle for Uncertainty or Excuses
If you’re constantly left guessing where your partner stands, chances are you’re not getting the clarity or commitment you deserve. Mixed signals are more than just frustrating—they’re signs that your partner may be having doubts about your relationship or that they’re just not serious about a future with you.
No one wants to be alone, even the partner who won’t commit. So, instead of being honest about their feelings or relationship doubts, they may try to simply dismiss your concerns with phrases like: “You’re just being paranoid”, “You are so possessive/clingy”, or “You know I love you; where is this coming from?”. These aren’t mixed signals, this is gaslighting. If you often hear excuses like these when you express concerns, be very wary! Love cares about your heart, your emotional health, and yes, even your concerns.
While every relationship has its ups and downs, long-term love requires openness, honesty, and mutual effort. Don’t ignore your gut. If you’re seeing these signs, it may be time to stop waiting for things to change. Start by having real conversations that bring clarity, and if your partner refuses, it might be time to move on.. You deserve someone who is as committed to the future as you are!
Are You Ready to Date Someone Who Wants What You Want?
If you’re tired of guessing and hoping, maybe it’s time to work with a coach who can help you identify relationship-ready partners from the start. I can help you learn how to recognize what real commitment looks like and find someone who’s just as motivated to marry as you are. Reach out, and let’s talk!