Are you finally considering hiring a dating and relationship coach?

Do you hear yourself saying, “Finding my life partner should not be this hard!” or “My friends met their spouse naturally. Why isn’t this happening for me?”  This is what I hear from my clients time and time again.  Does this sound familiar to you?

When I turned 40, I was frustrated with the dating merry-go-round, and truly wanted to be married with a family. 

I knew where the singles were, went to singles events, and even dated online. I met men. That wasn’t my issue. 

I consider myself a smart person and very accomplished. So why couldn’t I find someone who would be the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with?

Finding the RIGHT guy for me was where I got hung up. So I hired a dating coach who was a relationship expert. That was the best move I ever made. (Besides marrying my husband Alan!)

As it turns out, dating well takes a methodical approach. 

Consider this: when you truly want to accomplish a large goal outside of your expertise, it’s not unusual to hire a coach. We hire health coaches, career coaches, business coaches, etc. So why wouldn’t you hire a dating coach to help you find the most important relationship of your life?

However, when you hire a dating coach, you’re trusting this person to assist you with one of the most important decisions you will ever make. So, you want to invest this time and money wisely, finding the right coach for you, rather than just following some influencer online or an untrained dating “expert”.

Here are the 10 most important items to consider when you hire a dating coach.

1. Credentials and Training

Is the coach a certified professional coach recognized by the ICF or a social worker or LCSW? Where did he or she go through their training, and for how long? Did they get their training from a reputable program recognized by a reputable organization? And what is required to keep this credential? As an ICF credentialed coach, I have to have 40 hours of continued education within a 3-year timeframe.

Unfortunately, anyone can call themselves a coach. I know matchmakers that call themselves coaches who went to a three-day training and got a “certification”. As coaches and counselors, we are required to work with a coach and have supervision. 

Most reputable coaching programs take at least a year.  So before you consider hiring a dating coach, find out the extent of their coaching training.

2. Experience 

When I wanted to hire a dating coach, I looked for someone who had a successful marriage, experience, and wisdom. He was an experienced coach and had been running a well-known coaching program for singles. He came highly recommended.

If you want to get married, then find someone who is married or has been married. I know some very good coaches who were widowed or even divorced. They can share their perspectives. However, my coach was divorced and remarried. That gave me hope.

And what kind of work experiences has the coach had? How does that add to the overall coaching experience? And, what would be a good fit for you? 

Before coaching, I was an entrepreneur, owning my own companies for over 30 years. So, I understand single business people and tend to attract people who are self-employed (or have a desire to be so). I help these clients balance the search for lasting love with a busy professional life.  

3. A proven system

Coaching is about setting your life goals, looking at what is getting in your way, and charting a path based on your goals and core relationship values. There is a specific agenda for each coaching session. Something that moves you closer to your goal.

During my divorce, I sought out a therapist. She was very helpful in getting me to process my loss and healing. However, for dating, I felt something was missing. The conversation concluded with “get more information”. There was no direction to the sessions, and I felt like I was running in circles.

When I hired my dating coach, he had a specific program and approach. This resonated with me. Having a process helped me to finally move forward.

It helped me move beyond some limiting beliefs that were holding me back, allowed me to learn new things about myself, and I was able to make conscious decisions about who I would date and whom I would not. 

We were able to create a dating game plan, and coaching continued to support and implement the plan. This was critical to my success in meeting my husband!

4. What’s included in a coaching package?

What other benefits are included in the entire coaching package? Is there a peer community to give you additional support? Is there a social media group? A membership group to get feedback and ideas? Do you get access to the coaches’ online coaching program? Do you get invited to workshops or retreats? What other services do you get? 

Does this dating coach have experience with online dating?  Will he or she review your profile and give you suggestions to improve it? 

In addition to dating coaching, my clients have access to relationship coaching and life coaching as well as community support and group coaching.  I also review and edit my clients’ online dating profiles, which is how 80% of my successfully coupled clients meet their partners. I also create a personalized dating plan for each of my clients who are seeking a life partner/spouse. 

5. Accessibility

How accessible is your coach? Do you have access to him or her between sessions? What if something happens and you need to talk? Can you do so?

My clients can email me or text me, and I will respond within 24 hours or sooner unless I’m on vacation. Even then, I’ll get on the phone with a client who has a real need to talk out a situation.

When you hire a dating and relationship coach, knowing that your coach is fully there for you for support is very important. Situations can pop up in an instant, and having a sounding board can make or break a budding relationship. 

6. A proven track record 

Does the coach have many success stories? Have they had success with someone similar to you? (Age, marital status, ethnicity, religion, gender, educational level, etc.)

How long have they been coaching, and how many clients have they supported? Also, how does the coach define success for the client?

For me, a good outcome is clarity and having a better sense of their goals. If a client tells me that they are clear they want to be married and have a family, when they may have been unsure, that is success!

When a client who had not been dating at all is now meeting eligible, qualified people for dating, that is success. When a previously uncertain client tells me they are now confident in themselves and a “no thank you” no longer upsets them, that’s a win!  Only the client can define what success looks like.

7. Reputation

When looking to hire a coach, their reputation, both online and locally, is very important. Does your coach have a favorable reputation? What are others saying about her? Just know that there are different styles of coaching and only you know what is right for you. 

However, I recommend you make up your own mind based on a complimentary interview, strategy, or coaching session with any prospective coaches. Make your own judgment based on their coaching style rather than relying on someone else’s opinion.  Your needs may be very different than the person who referred you. 

8. The Investment

Of course, you want to know how much it will cost you to hire a dating coach. Each coach has their own pricing schedule and packages. Make sure you know what’s included for the price, how many sessions, and for how long you are committing to the coaching package.

Make sure you are comparing similar coaching packages. For my 6-month clients, we meet for 12 hours of coaching, they have unlimited email support, and they get invited to any group coaching I may have. 

I have monthly question and answer support calls for my entire Motivated to Marry Community for no extra charge. Additionally, I include a review and edit of their online dating profiles, which is a couple of hours outside our one-on-one coaching time together.

And I have seen a wide range of prices for 6 months of coaching, from $3000 to $25,000! 

A lot depends on where the coach is located, if the coach meets online or face-to-face, and the kind of clients they cater to. New York City and LA coaches tend to be the most expensive.

Most dating and relationship coaches offer payment plans for those who want to spread the payments out over time; however, that usually costs a bit more than the full pay package rate.  Many dating coaches give a discount when paying in full. 

Many coaches offer smaller packages, group coaching packages, or online self-study programs that can make the fee more affordable, as well.

However, when you’re evaluating your investment, just make sure that you’re comparing apples to apples. 

9. Rapport 

One of the most important considerations when you hire a dating coach is your rapport with the coach. Do you like this person? Do you trust this person? Does he or she seem to know their stuff and seem credible? And how do they make you feel? Supported and cared for?

Different people have different needs. Can the coach accommodate those needs? And are you able to communicate what you need from the coach? I ask my clients, “What do you need from me as your coach?” If a coach doesn’t ask that question, that would raise a red flag for me!

Definitely take advantage of that complimentary meeting, strategy, or coaching session to see if you feel this is the right person for you.

10. Other skills and abilities

Many coaches have had past careers and skills that they bring to the coaching relationship. I owned a clothing boutique for 13 years and also had an image consulting business, as well. So, I was trained in color and makeup, which helps my current clients to put their best foot forward, both online and in real life.

I help my clients pick out the right outfits, and then I carefully scan through the hundreds of photos from an online dating profile photo shoot to recommend the best shot that will attract the right person. I’ve even gone shopping with clients to help pick out outfits for an online profile photo shoot or first dates. I’m also a savvy online shopper, which helps those clients who don’t live in my local area.

Is hiring a dating coach worth it? 

When I hired my dating coach, I had been divorced for about 5 years and was struggling with dating and meeting men worth giving my heart to. Yet, I still truly desired a partnered life with a family, and I didn’t want to waste any more time. A tall order for a 40-year-old, independently successful woman. 

Yet, within a year of coaching, I met the love of my life. Within 2 years, we were married. 20 years later, we are still in love, have a handsome son, and are living the life I dreamt about. 

I truly don’t know if I’d be married now if I hadn’t hired my dating coach.

So, yes, I believe hiring the RIGHT dating coach is worth it.

Given my experience, knowledge, and proven results, I feel I’m the right coach for many people.  My clients are both men and women, ages late 20’s to early 80’s!  

However, if you follow these 10 tips when considering hiring a dating and relationship coach, you’ll be in good hands, whoever you work with. And if I can serve you in any way, I would be honored to be your dating coach and so much more! 

Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com to schedule your complimentary Meet Your Mate Strategy session with me, and let’s see if we’re a match! 

Do you know if you are even ready for lasting love? Take my FREE “Are You Ready to Meet Your Mate” Quiz, and find out today!

About the Author

is a certified life coach and dating/relationship expert who has helped hundreds of marriage-minded singles find lasting, committed partnerships since 2005. Through private coaching and group programs, she specializes in helping people date with clarity, confidence, and purpose.