If you’re one of the 40-million-plus Americans using online dating, tips for profile writing can make all the difference in your success.
Your profile, after all, is your one-page ad to those you’re seeking to attract — your thirty seconds of Super Bowl commercial time. You’ll want to grab the attention of high-quality, potential matches. And you’ll want it to survive the “swipe left for no, right for yes” screening format on so many dating apps.
If your goal in dating is to find Mr. or Ms. Right for forever love, then your online profile will be especially important. Consulting a dating coach to help you apply the online dating tips for profile writing suggested here can help maximize the return on your time and energy investment.
Composing an online dating profile can be an enlightening experience. If you’re a marriage-minded person, you’ll naturally care about more than just “hooking up” or dating just to date. You’ll be searching for someone who has long-term, even “forever,” potential.
You’ll want to be thoughtful about what you write and how you express yourself. And that means knowing yourself and what you truly want before you start filling in the blanks.
When it comes to getting the most out of online dating, tips for profile writing all point to one thing: authenticity. This is not the place for any misrepresentation.
You are, after all, searching for someone you’ll love for a very long time. You’re also searching for someone who will love you for the wonderful, one-in-a-million person you are.
So, as we explore these online dating tips for profile writing, we’re going to start with authenticity. We’re also going to finish there.
Your goal isn’t to appeal to everyone. It’s to find that needle-in-a-haystack who recognizes something in you that makes him or her say, “Finally!”
Sure, you’ll get your share of responses from misfits who cast a wide net and don’t have the same standards as you. But that’s to be expected when you’re as attractive and awesome as you are!
What matters most is that the best, most genuine qualities of who you are shine through. Only then will that special person be able to find you.
Here are the most important online dating tips for profile writing. If you feel at all unsure about pulling together an impressive profile, engage the help of a professional dating coach. This one endeavor could change your life forever as it has for so many of my clients, so it deserves your best effort.
- Know what you want and express it clearly.This is the step that influences all the others. Everything you say in your profile will reflect the truth of who you are and what you’re looking for. Even the photos you choose to post will speak to your authenticity, attention to detail, and standards for a potential match.Therefore, it’s to your benefit to spend time really thinking about what you want to convey about what you believe, value most, and want in life. What kind of person do you need to be with in order to be happy? Focus on the character and personality qualities of the person, not the superficial ones.
If you examine your own values and how you live them, you’ll naturally be drawn to someone who has similar values in a match.
- Be up front.If your goal is to find true love and to have a committed relationship and eventually marry, then you have to find an inviting way to express that. Yes, some people will be scared off by any suggestion of marriage or “long-term.” But that’s OK. You’re trying to narrow the pool. It’s equally important, however, that you attract those high-quality candidates with good potential.You want to make it clear that you’re focused because you have an awesome life vision. However, you don’t want to give the impression that engagement ring-shopping would be a great first date!
- Be selective.There appear to be infinite choices in online dating. Tips for profile writing, however, don’t intend to drive them all to your profile.If you try to appeal to the masses, you’ll only set yourself up for a ton of unpleasant email exchanges and first dates. The more selective you are in your descriptions of what you want, the better the quality of the people you’ll attract.
Sure, you’ll get likes and messages from people who are obviously fishing for any response. And you can quickly disregard those.
And you’ll also get those rare treasures who will recognize exactly the person you have described. They will recognize themselves in your words, and they will enthusiastically respond.
Being selective relies on knowing what you want so take your time with that first step to make the other steps easier and then your relationship connection will have a natural flow.
- Be honest.It makes no sense to lay a foundation of dishonesty for what could be the most important relationship of your life. If you could stand to lose fifteen pounds, no amount of clever wording is going to hide that when you meet in person. If you are really 60 years old, posting old photos and saying you are 45 is just deceitful.Lying about anything in your profile — age, body type, income, education, marital status — sets a very dangerous precedent.
First of all, it assumes that you’re the only one manipulating information to get what you want. What if the people you think you’re appealing to are also lying? What happens when you actually meet?
If you feel “young for your age” (a common reason men give for misrepresenting their age), show what that looks like. There are plenty of people of the opposite sex who are equally “young for their age.” Make yourself attractive to them by demonstrating your vitality, not by lying. You’ll only have to justify yourself to a less-than-happy date later on.
If you’re looking for someone with lifetime potential, honesty and trustworthiness will be non-negotiable qualities. Make sure they are non-negotiable qualities in yourself, too.
- Be engaging and positive.Reading a laundry list of demanding “must be’s” is like reading an impossible-to-match job ad. No one is that perfectly tailored to one job…or one person.This is one of those online dating tips for profile writing that asks you to trust the process…and especially yourself. Being selective is one thing. Giving the impression that no one will ever be good enough is another. So shift your focus to how you present yourself.
What’s it like to spend time with you? How can you paint a picture of your values and interests by sharing a glimpse of your life?
“Saturdays are my favorite day of the week because I join a group at the animal shelter to walk the dogs. I put on my runners and log my miles while helping some deserving pups feel loved and find homes. Then my friends and I head to our favorite cafe for brunch. An amazing start to the weekend!”
Anyone reading that would know you are charitable, active, sociable, and a heck of a lot of fun to spend time with. And you will have weeded out the non-contenders without having a mean bone in your body!
- Pictures, pictures, pictures!They really are worth a thousand words. You can tell so much about a person from a photo. And I’m not just referring to looks.First of all, not posting a photo shouts all kinds of double-standards, things-to-hide, and downright creepiness. “I can see you, but you can’t see me” has no place in online dating.
Or others will think, “What are you hiding?” With no photo, the other person will naturally assume that you are unattractive.
Second, the photos you choose to post are an expression of your honesty. So make sure they’re current, clear, and truly representative of what someone would see if and when you meet in person. No one should have a difficult time spotting his or her date on a first meeting.
Think about the person you are trying to attract and put yourself in his or her mind. Would you want to look at someone’s reverse image in a bathroom mirror? Would you be impressed by someone’s unmade bed, shower curtain, and cell phone model?
On the other hand, would you pause to look at the profile of someone who is smiling and who obviously took the time to have photos taken?
At the bare minimum, have a clear, current, honest headshot and full-body shot. And avoid photos that could be perceived as sexually suggestive. Here, you’ll be giving the wrong message.
Other photos should show you in the contexts that define your life, activities, and priorities.
Be mindful of your expression on your face. Is it warm & inviting?
Remember, your photos will tell their own story. They’ll also give a lot of unspoken information about your self-confidence, attention to detail, and commitment to honestly meeting your true love via this process.
- Yes, spelling and grammar matter.There are the obvious reasons to read your work and make sure you’ve crossed your t’s and dotted your i’s. Error-free writing suggests education, intelligence, and attention to detail — attributes that many look for in a relationship.As a matter of fact, 96% of 5,000 women surveyed said spelling and grammar are essential. And men’s profiles with just two spelling mistakes were 14% less successful than those with none.
Presenting a polished profile delivers the additional message that you’re responsible and self-accountable in communication. You think before you speak, and you review your own work. Someone who just throws something together and hits send probably isn’t going to self-edit in speech, either.
Finally, there is a practical, safety-related reason to mind your writing. Online scams are often the product of people who don’t speak English as a first language. And their profiles and messages will reflect that fact. So do check your spelling and grammar which given spell check and such, this is no longer a monumental task.
- Avoid sexual talk or innuendo.It’s simply inappropriate for a public forum, let alone as an expression of why someone should want to date you. Sexual attraction and chemistry belong in-person, and will happen in their own time if you take things slowly.
Following these online dating tips for profile writing will make a huge difference in your search for Mr. or Ms. Right. As I promised earlier, we would begin and finish with one all-important tip: authenticity.
So take yourself on a get-to-know-you-better date. Get honest about what you value, need, and want. Then share a portrait of the amazing person that is you.