So, you are dating online and you wonder, “Am I making any progress with all of my correspondence, or am I just wasting my time?” Let me give you some practical dating tips. You start connecting with a supposedly decent guy based on his initial interest in you and his profile. He contacts you first, and then there is a back and forth emailing through the dating site. The back and forth becomes extended with weeks of messages sent daily. Whatever interest you have starts to dwindle. Worse yet, when you eventually do meet him, there’s no mutual spark.
You feel like you’ve wasted oodles of time with frustrating messages since you messaged back and forth for weeks of messages sent daily. So how do you avoid this? You want to connect, however, should you spend weeks and weeks doing this? Then you ponder, “Does this man have other female candidates in the works and is just keeping me on the back burner until he has exhausted his other potential dates?” This is enough to drive you mad!
On the other hand, you may also be thinking, “He sends daily messages, so there’s some kind of real interest.” However, this has been going on for weeks or even months. I named this being an endless pen pal. Here are my dating tips for you to follow regarding the online dating process:
Dating tip #1
- If you don’t want to be pen pals, then you need to express your expectations on how long you plan on going back and forth. I recommend that you do it in a nice but firm way. You may say something like this, “I find that if I email more than two weeks before meeting someone, and it drags on, then the person doesn’t seem really ready for a serious relationship”.
Dating tip #2
- Call them on their behavior or tell them, “I’ve been in a pen pal situation before, and it’s never worked out. Either we set up a time to meet, or I’ll need to remove you from my favorites or delete you from my match list.”
Dating tip #3
- Put a time frame on how long you will go back and forth before actually meeting face to face. You can say, “I’m looking for a serious committed relationship and do not wish to be pen pals. So, I believe two weeks is enough time for us to get to know one another by email and phone calls.” Then, set up a time to talk on the phone.
And Last, Dating tip #4
- Be selfish about your time. Don’t email every day because then you show that you are too available. It’s just human nature that we don’t want something (or someone) that is too easy. Just email them about your plans to talk or meet. You can say, “When we talk, I’ll share more about myself, or “I prefer us to have a conversation not email or text back and forth.”
Along with the above dating tips, a motivated to marry person wants to meet you to see whether or not there’s real interest in going further with the relationship. Just know that there are some people who are lonely and they like the idea of having a pen pal because they feel that they are having some kind of relationship. And watch out for those long distance relationships where they guy puts off meeting you!
However, if he does meet you, he may think that relationship might end. They may be right, but their concern about meeting in person doesn’t warrant dragging things out for too long. Remember your goal is to meet this person and have a real live relationship. My bottom line dating tip is to find a relationship-oriented person like yourself who also wants an in person relationship leading to a serious, committed relationship.
How do you manage your online (and offline) dating relationships? What do you do when you find that someone is going on and on with their emails and texts?
This curious coach would like to know!
P.S. If you want to get off the online dating merry-go-round, then you can learn my whole dating to mating system along with many other practical dating tips to finding lasting love with the Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets program and coaching! Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com to have a complimentary Meet Your Mate strategy session and get you on the right track for finding true love!