It’s unfortunate that many who surf the web in a genuine pursuit of love often wind up feeling disheartened about ever finding what they most deeply desire.
If you are dating online in a genuine pursuit of love, then you may find yourself disheartened with the process and wondering, “Why is love so hard to find?”
Luckily, I’m here to offer you strategic online dating profile advice that can help you battle the frustration that keeps you as a marriage-minded single from feeling hopeless.
If you’re among those quietly wanting more detail than what is available on the popular dating apps, then this online dating profile advice can help you.
Some people go to great lengths to present themselves well in their profiles, while others don’t seem to really care by vaguely filling in their profiles.
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Quality profiles immediately stand out because of their attention to detail and the quality and selection of photos. I always instruct my clients to read the full profile. The written essay area is where you can learn the most about a person.
Marriage-minded people may instinctively embrace the importance of a stellar profile, but they don’t always know how to write about themselves for the profile that will attract a quality person. And the idea of revealing a desire for marriage may be a bit of an embarrassment and may not be evident in that profile.
Nonetheless, a great profile is key. And my first piece of online dating profile advice is to speak to the kind of person that you desire to attract.
From your profile, you may attract a person you deem not the kind of person you want to meet. There will always be those who are in no way a match for you, and who send you a wink or message regardless. It’s your job to weed through inappropriate matches.
However, you can create an introduction spelling out your goals for dating that will peak the interest of quality singles with a similar mindset. And that is the kind of man (or woman) you do want to meet.
Your task isn’t to write to or please everyone. It also isn’t to ward off the “undesirables” with a list of things you don’t want in a mate. Your goal is to find a way to be a magnet for the needle in the haystack.
My most powerful online dating profile advice has to do with creating desired intention. Whom are you trying to attract, and how can you authentically present yourself to capture that person’s attention?
Before you can act on your intention, however, you have to be clear about whom you want to attract! And that’s not always as easy as it sounds.
The feeling of “endless choices” created by online dating can actually muddle your thought process. Believe that some people think that “there’s always something better out there,” and the “no strings” option often ends up being the default choice.
My passion is to help you find committed love and not just someone to fill your time.
Below are several pieces of online dating profile advice to let people know you’re marriage-minded:
- Put yourself in your ideal partner’s shoes. If your ideal partner were to read your profile, how would s/he recognize you as her/his ideal match? As logical as this may sound, many people don’t consider flipping the table to consider their profiles from their desired mates’ perspectives. You’ve essentially a couple of paragraphs to put out to the world in an effort to attract “the one.” Your message needs to be clear, intriguing, genuine and targeted if you want to draw in the right person.
- Share what you value, not just what you do. I frequently remind my clients that their online dating profile isn’t a job interview. Sure, someone who’s intrigued by you will be curious enough about what you do for work or how you spend your free time; however, this won’t be his/her primary concern. Focus instead on your life goals and your most prominent and positive character traits. Do you want to get married and have a family? Or do you want a committed long-term relationship and with whom you have someone to travel the world? Someone who is also interested in a committed relationship will not only be concerned with what you do for a living but more importantly, how you live and what gives your life purpose.
- Be honest about what you are seeking. The worst thing you can do on your profile is misrepresenting yourself. All the online dating profile advice in the world can’t make up for lying about what you want in terms of a relationship.No, you don’t need to (and shouldn’t) have the wedding planned. But if you know that your goal in dating is to find the right person with whom to spend the rest of your life, I encourage you to make that clear of these intentions. Don’t be afraid that you’ll scare away someone. Know that the right person won’t be dissuaded that easily! If you aren’t sure, say so. If you simply want to enjoy companionship with a nice person, say so. And if all you want out of dating is sex…well…most people would rather know that up front than to be hurt by deception and dashed hopes later. But I trust that if you are reading this, you are looking for something meaningful and lasting. So you will naturally want to be genuine and clear in describing your dating goals.
- Focus on character, not characteristics. Listing off a laundry list can be a huge turnoff to most people, as it makes the person seem superficial and impossible to please. My advice is always to infer those qualities you find attractive by focusing on those character qualities that matter most to you. Instead of saying that your match “needs to be physically fit,” mention your own passion for outdoor adventures, and being active. Also, you can Include a photo of you running a local marathon. Allow your reader to fill in the blanks by putting together the mental image of what your life is like and how s/he might fit into it. Thoughtfully expressing your values is a very attractive trait, as it shows depth, vulnerability, and possible trustworthiness.
- Polish your profile. Remember those teachers who used to say, “Spelling and grammar count” — and they weren’t even English teachers? Well, they were right. It does count. First of all, intelligence is very attractive. And paying attention to accuracy shows you care enough to take the time to have a flawless presentation. When someone “dumps and sends,” it’s as if this person came to a date with wrinkled clothes and food spots on his shirt! As a dating coach, I not only help clients find their ideal matches, I also help them know how to communicate so they put themselves in their best light. By presenting a “complete and flawless” profile, you deliver the subliminal message that you truly care about what and how you communicate. And self-accountability is a big plus for the marriage-minded single. It’s just one of many ways that your ideal match will be evaluating your relationship potential. If you are too lazy to use spell-check, then are you someone that they can depend on when you sign a lease or go for a join bank loan for a mortgage? Will you always assume your partner will expect you to clean up their mess and will take care of everything in life for him or her? It’s always a good idea to put your profile through quality control before you post it. Asking a few trusted friends of both genders to review your profile can provide helpful feedback. And when I review a client’s profile, I am able to provide a broader perspective on how others may view the profile, from the positive and also what could be considered a turnoff to avoid.
- Consider a niche site. In order to increase your odds of finding a similarly-minded match, why not try a dating site that caters to marriage-minded singles? Also, by putting your profile on paid sites, you would be demonstrating that you take your search seriously and are willing to invest in your future. And you can expect the same from most everyone else there. Or you can choose a niche site based upon your religion, ethnicity, or country of origin. You can choose a site where you share a particular interest such as yoga, classical music or politics! There are literally thousands of dating sites and apps today.
Remember, if you are marriage-minded and committed to that dream, then you are the one holding the key to your future. If you want to stand out to your ideal match, then make your profile stand out. There is always someone who matches your values and the intentions you put out to the Universe.
Given all this effort this may take, you’ll see that there’s a person out there for you who’s worth all this effort.