Man sitting at his kitchen counter putting these online dating tips for men to work.

Online Dating for Men: Top 5 Strategies to Stand Out in the Sea of Profiles

21 March 2024

Everyone is online! So how do you stand out among the zillions of other profiles to attract the perfect female life partner as a seriously searching man?

I’m going to share my online dating strategies for men, that have worked for my clients for 20 years.

First: Have good photos!

Women want to know that you know how to dress for the appropriate occasion. Will you show respect by dressing well for her?

Today, people are much more casual, so a suit may be overkill. However, a picture with a jacket shows sophistication and panache. You’ll want to show a look that is consistent with what she’ll see when you show up for the first in-person date. Can you go to the symphony as well as on a local hike? Show your range. To make a splash in online dating, men need photos that are current, so that your profile looks just like the person who’ll show up on the date.

Don’t forget to include photos that show your lifestyle- you on a recent trip or photos of places you enjoy. Do you play a sport? Showing that side of you may be a plus (unless it’s an extreme sport). Consider adding photos of things that matter to you, like cute pets, or hobbies you enjoy. Keep them appropriate though. One of my clients showed himself playing in a poker tournament. I didn’t think that was a wise choice even if he was semi-pro!

Second: Share your dating goals on your profile.

If you’re seeking a marriage partner as your goal, then say so! This is the one thing that has set my male clients apart!

Conventional dating advice has told men not to communicate too early, a desire to be married, as it could limit the number of responses. But that is the whole point of marriage-minded dating online! You’re not playing around anymore, and letting women know that you are seriously looking is a huge green flag. Women want to know that you are confident in your goals and willing to take a stand for what you truly seek. They are tired of wishy-washy guys.

Third: Your profile needs to reflect your personality.

This is one of the top online dating strategies for men. You have to be yourself so you can attract a partner who appreciates you for you! Express your top values and how you like to spend your time outside of work. Trying to be something you’re not will only backfire on you when, after messaging back and forth, you eventually meet face-to-face.

Be careful about using services that will write your profile for you. I caution you to NOT employ this strategy. I can detect a profile that is not written by my client a mile away! It just doesn’t sound like him. And really, women will figure out that you are not the same man they read about in the profile. You’ll end up with an awkward date and lose trust from the get-go.

If you are still unsure about your own profile writing ability, have a trusted female friend or a relationship coach review your profile for personality, grammar, and readability. Women love a well-written profile, but they want it to be authentic.

And before you’re done with your profile, check to see if there is anything important that needs to be added. Consider including details about those things with which you are passionate, charities or causes you are involved in, dreams and life goals; those activities or traits that demonstrate that you enjoy people and you’d make a good life partner.

Fourth: Be intentional about how you reach out to potential dates!

I always make sure to advise my male clients on how to best reach out to get an actual response!

Likes and “Hey!” show nothing to a woman about why you chose her out of all the other profiles, about what makes her special in your mind. In your initial outreach, make sure you mention these things. Is it a common hobby or interest? Are you intrigued by something she’s passionate about? Is there something about her profile you find impressive? Do you have a similar life path, or goals? Does she also have cute pets? Consider what it is about her that makes you think she’s worth a marriage-minded pursuit. You may be tempted to do so, don’t mention anything about looks! It will seem cringey! (Even though we all know that is why you reached out in the first place!)

Having engaging messages back and forth is very important when considering successful strategies in online dating for men. Women enjoy connecting!

In addition to responding within 24 hours (You DO know you should respond within 24 hours, right?!?), be intentional about asking meaningful questions that engage and will communicate that you are interested in getting to know her.

By the way, if you initiate communication with a woman, but can’t respond within 24 hours, tell her in advance that you’ll be out of touch for a timeframe and that you look forward to continuing afterward. Direct and honest communication is the key!

And if you’re thinking about using humor in your early correspondence, just know that you are taking a chance. Everyone’s humor is different. What I hear from many of my female clients is “Yes, I want a guy who makes me laugh”. However, I always ask, “What kind of humor do you prefer?”. Remember that the wrong kind of humor, especially early in the relationship, may turn off the right woman. I’d advise that it’s best to get to know her first.

Overall, demonstrating well-written, consistent, and honest communication will make you stand out in the sea of men online.

Finally, to be successful with online dating as a man, you need to not get discouraged.

The more “qualified” women you reach out to, the better your chances. It’s numbers within your qualifiers.

The goal, of course, is to get the woman’s attention and initiate communication that will eventually lead to an in-person, meet-and-greet date.

There you have it! My top online dating for men strategies have worked for over 20 years!

Dating sites will come and go, however, what works relationally, doesn’t change. This is what I tell my clients, “What you put out there, is what you attract!”

If you’re struggling with finding the right woman for a serious, committed relationship that may lead to more – a life partner or marriage, then let’s talk! Go to to get connected. I look forward to meeting you!