Kindness is an Attractive Trait

One of my friends is taking classes through the Meditation Center of Greater Washington DC and we got talking about kindness as a trait in people.  When I work through to get the values clarification of my clients, kindness, compassion and caring come up for many as must have values for a partner.  I asked my friend to write a piece on the subject for my blog. So here it is:

“Kindess is the highest form of wisdom”, the Talmud says. The Dali Lama says, “My religion is kindness”.  Buddhism teaches that we create our world through our thoughts. If we want to live in a world that is safe and loving there is no better place to start building that hopeful world than inside our own loving hearts.  We do this by practicing kindness to ourselves and others.

Kindness is a quality of the heart that exists in all of us.  We all have the capacity to be kind.  It is not a quality of mind, though we may think kindly towards someone.  True kindness is not premediated or calculated but insteads springs naturally from that open, gentle giving space in our hearts.  The poet Emily Dickinson eloquently wrote that,” hope asks nothing of us in return.” The same can also be said of kindness.  It is a pure act.  The reward is soley in the act of being kind.

When we can see the world through someone elses eyes, we begin to touch upon our common humanity. We discover that we are all children of God, each blessed with special, unique gifts and sharing the same hopes and dreams, fears and concerns.  When we recognize the divine in all of us, we are able to contact a wellspring of compassion and caring which is the essence of kindness.  We act from the innate goodness in our own hearts without expecting anythng in return.  The impulse to help, comfort, console, encourage, nurture is not reserved just for our human relations.  It can easily be applied to our connection with animals as well . When we remember the importance of kindness in our daily lives, both with our family, friends and pets, as well as with strangers, we slowly create the conditions necessary for healing the divisions in the world and replacing them with love.

Written by David Katzin, student of Tara Brach — Meditation and Dharma Teacher of the Insight Meditation Council of Greater Washington.

How is kindness important to your dating life? Is this an attractive quality for you?  How can you bring more kindness in your life?
This inquiring relationship coach wants to know your answers to these questions and any comments you may have on this subject. (Click comment link at the end of this blog post)

Your relationship coach,


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2 comments on “Kindness is an Attractive Trait
  1. JudeEastman says:

    Kindness to others, for others, with no expectation of anything in return except for their highest and best comes back 10 fold. Often we are quick to judge and dismiss someone from our lives too quickly. Being kind in your speech to someone you’ve just met, never assume you know another person’s motivations and respond as if their intent is for the good of all.


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    • Coach Amy says:

      Thanks Jude for taking the time to add your sage advice.

      Best- Amy

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