One of my friends is taking classes through the Meditation Center of Greater Washington DC and we got talking about kindness and its attractiveness.  When I work with my clients to clarify their values, kindness, compassion, and caring come up for many as must-haves.  I asked my friend, David Katzin, to write a piece on the subject for my blog.

Here are his thoughts on kindness and why it’s attractive:

“Kindness is the highest form of wisdom”, the Talmud says. The Dali Lama says, “My religion is kindness”.  Buddhism teaches that we create our world through our thoughts. If we want to live in a world that is safe and loving there is no better place to start building that hopeful world than inside our own loving hearts.  We do this by practicing kindness to ourselves and others.

Kindness is a quality of the heart that exists in all of us.  We all have the capacity to be kind.  It is not a quality of mind, though we may think kindly towards someone.  True kindness is not premeditated or calculated but instead springs naturally from that open, gentle giving space in our hearts.  The poet Emily Dickinson eloquently wrote that “hope asks nothing of us in return.” The same can also be said of kindness.  It is a pure act.  The reward is solely in the act of being kind.

When we can see the world through someone else’s eyes, we begin to touch upon our common humanity. We discover that we are all children of God, each blessed with special, unique gifts and sharing the same hopes and dreams, fears and concerns.  When we recognize the divine in all of us, we are able to contact a wellspring of compassion and caring which is the essence of kindness.  We act from the innate goodness in our own hearts without expecting anything in return.  The impulse to help, comfort, console, encourage, and nurture is not reserved just for our human relations.  It can easily be applied to our connection with animals as well. When we remember the importance of kindness in our daily lives, both with our family, friends, and pets, as well as with strangers, we slowly create the conditions necessary for healing the divisions in the world and replacing them with love.

Written by David Katzin, student of Tara Brach — Meditation and Dharma Teacher of the Insight Meditation Council of Greater Washington.

How is kindness important to your dating life?

Is kindness an attractive quality to you?  How can you bring more kindness into your life? What other qualities do you look for in a life partner? This inquiring relationship coach wants to know your answers to these questions and any thoughts you may have. And if you need help identifying how you can work on kindness in your own pursuit of love, reach out. Go to www.motivatedtomarry.com/connect-with-coach-amy/, and let’s find a time to connect.

Your relationship coach,

Amy