Couple questioning if this is the right relationship for them

Is It the Right Relationship at the Wrong Time?

23 March 2023

It’s said, “Timing’s everything.” The same is true with finding the right relationship. I truly believe this.

When seeking the right relationship for a lasting partnership, first you have to be ready for a person to come into your life.

When I met my husband for the first time, I was separated and still involved in completing my divorce. I was also a boutique owner with a very busy schedule. We had a very lovely date; however, our timing was off.

Alan perceived me as being too busy and I was unaware that I was communicating how busy I was. He had just unsuccessfully tried to date another woman who was too busy for him so he didn’t pursue me at that time. (Everyone who knows me well knows you just have to get on my calendar, and I make time for those who are close to me. But seriously!)

It wasn’t until 5 years later, after we had both done our inner work and we were both more open and ready for the right relationship, that we met again. And again, I almost missed him. But the relationship coach I was working with helped me to recognize that Alan had potential. It was then that it all fell into place, and we got engaged in 6 months’ time and married within the year.

Here’s another story about timing.

Nina almost missed Jessie. She had broken up with her previous boyfriend in November and was very upset about how it ended. She had high hopes for that relationship. I encouraged her to get back online in the New Year since that’s a very active time online. It was then that she met her now husband.

If you’re pining away for someone who can’t give you the love you deserve, then it’s important to pick yourself up and get back out there again.

You want to be looking for a new life partner – both online and in person too!

After New Year’s, Valentine’s Day, the summer, and major holidays are the best times to look for new love because people feel the longing to be part of a couple and will take action.

Another timing issue is when you’ve met someone early in your life and you’re not ready for a serious, committed relationship.

Several of my clients have looked up “past loves” and reconnected. One of my male clients in his mid-50s reached out to a woman he knew in college. Guess what? She was single herself. They started communicating again and it morphed into a romance. He moved to her city to be with her. The last time I heard, they were still together.

So, it was the wrong time for him in college. He didn’t really think about a committed relationship, so they stayed friends. Now it’s the right relationship since they’re in the same place and want the same things at this point in time.

So how do you know that it’s the right relationship? And what could derail a good potential relationship?

I teach my clients about external roadblocks. Those are the outside forces that get in the way.

It could be your career path. Perhaps you got a job offer that you felt called to follow and it moved you away from a potential partner. Or you are required to travel a large percentage of the time.  

Maybe there is a health issue that pulls your partner away from you because he doesn’t want to be a burden.

Or she is busy raising her kids and doesn’t want to deny her children her full attention. And she’s not paying attention to interest from men in her social circle or where she hangs out.

Here it can be the right relationship AND the wrong time!

Know that you have to want the same things out of life and share a common life vision for it to be the right relationship no matter the timing.

It can be the right relationship however, you want children and he’s done having kids.

Or you want to build your next career in your 60s and she wants to retire.

Or disapproving family members can tear apart the right relationship too. If that family member was no longer around, then consider what’s possible for the couple to act on their love for one another.

Or a family member requires your attention and care that prevents you from nurturing the right relationship.

This is the “could haves & should haves” or what you see as possible except for a glitch.

And this is very tragic because this could be the love of your life except something has gotten in the way of you being able to move forward with the right relationship.

And last, along with life goals, if the values are aligned then it’s the right relationship. You’re the only one who can assess if it’s the right time too!

If you’re wondering if it’s the right relationship at the wrong time, then let’s talk! My coaching process has helped many singles see how right or wrong a relationship is and if it’s the right time to move forward or move on! Go to https://motivatedtomarry.com/connect-with-coach-amy/ and let’s find a time to chat.