A sad woman with crossed arms in a coffee shop near other happy people thinking "I'll never find true love".

If You’re Telling Yourself, “I’ll Never Find True Love”, Here’s How To Stay Hopeful.

09 May 2024

When searching for true love, the most important thing for success is believing it can happen. If you’re telling yourself, “I’ll never find true love”, consider a mindset shift.

Here are my recommendations on how to turn things around and stay hopeful while dating and looking for your forever life partner.

Focus on What You Want for Your Life.

Are you the best version of yourself? Who do you need to be to attract the kind of person you want in your life? When you live your best life: doing fulfilling work or volunteer projects, looking your best, feeling your best, and having good friends, you’re going to attract a partner who admires you for how you show up in life and living your best possible life.

Focus on Your Positive Attributes and Why Someone Would Want to Love You

Telling yourself, “I’ll never find true love”, is not really serving you. And if you don’t believe in yourself, how can you ask someone else to love you?  In my coaching, I focus on the things you bring to a relationship: your talents, your heart, your values, and your energy. This also includes your interests. By focusing on what you have to offer in a relationship, you will build-up your own confidence. And we all know that humble confidence is more attractive than arrogance or insecurity!

Make Time for Dating and Meeting People

I hear all the time, “It’s hard to find love”. But what I notice is those people are not making the time to look for someone. They tend to have very little time freedom in their calendar. What do you see when you look at your calendar and your time to meet new people?

Have you truly made time in your schedule, not just for dating, but also to fully connect with someone new? What are you willing to give up or move around to make this happen? If true love is something you really want, then you’ll make the time for it.

Face Your Gremlins

We all have those negative thoughts that hold us back and “I’ll never find true love” is one of those gremlins that follows you around. Is it actually true? And what makes it true? When you see that this thought is no longer serving you, you can choose to dismiss it and move on to a more constructive thought pattern. When you see the gremlin for what it is, you diminish its power over you. You are now empowered to make more positive choices for yourself that will serve you as you search for a life partner.

Be a Giver Not a Taker

If you’re telling yourself, “I’ll never find true love”, then you may need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask yourself, are you one that gives to others or takes from others? Are you volunteering your time to help others? Are you the one that people reach out to when they need a helping hand? You’re not being a sucker, when you do so, you are being a helpful, kind person. Just be careful of those who would take advantage of you or who don’t reciprocate when you need a helping hand.

Educate Yourself on How to Have Healthy Relationships

Knowing how to create, healthy, sustaining relationships is not a given today. Just like you learn math and how to be a better writer, you can learn how to be a better partner too. You can read books, listen to podcasts, or take a class. This will serve you as you are looking to date. So, if you find that you have often been disappointed in love, consider doing the self-work; honing your knowledge of yourself and how you can be a better partner for your future mate.

Find Some Support

As always, a trusted coach or counselor can help you navigate past your fear of never finding true love. Sometimes it takes a village. Going through this process alone can be scary, causing you to feel like it’s not worth the effort to go on dates and strike out. But you don’t have to go it alone. Hiring an objective person who has your back can get you past your negative mindset of “I’ll never find true love”.

You have a choice: To believe that nasty gremlin of “I’ll never find true love” or to reframe and tell yourself, “I’m going to meet my true love in the next six months“.

There is enough negativity out there these days- don’t make more for yourself. By putting positive energy into the universe, you’ll better your chances of making it possible to find true and lasting love.

So what are you choosing for yourself?  If you would like to learn what it takes to find true love and would appreciate some support through this journey, go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com, and let’s talk!