How does it look in your daydreams? Do your eyes lock with your destined love, your knees go weak, the butterflies flutter in your stomach? Do you assume you will automatically “just know” when you meet the love of your life? Will it really be that unmistakable?
If you’re waiting for an Oscar-winning moment to let you know you have found “the one,” you may be waiting a long time.
In fact, you may have already met your true love and not know it – just as I had.
I wasn’t necessarily expecting fireworks to go off when I met him. But I certainly wasn’t expecting our story to write itself the way it did.
You see, I met my husband 5 years before we truly connected.
I had always thought that, when you meet the love of your life, you will just know — yes, maybe, or no.
But I never anticipated that someone I met could come back into my life years later with a new potential.
My husband Alan and I first met at a singles’ dance. He took my number, which made me think he was interested.
However, as I walked back to my car, I saw him walking out of the singles’ dance with a blonde bombshell.
I assumed he was interested in her and had taken my number either prematurely or just to be polite.
But, to my surprise, I was wrong.
He called me, and we went on a date.
Although it went well, I didn’t hear from him after that.
In all fairness, I need to back up a little.
At the time of that date, I was separated and not yet divorced.
I also owned a woman’s clothing boutique that was a 7-days-a-week operation.
Despite enjoying our date, Alan viewed me as not having time for a relationship. So, he didn’t call me.
One date. Separate ways.
Certainly not my idea of how to know when you meet the love of your life.
A few years later, after my divorce, I was helping out with a local fundraiser when my one-and-out date walked in…with the blonde bombshell.
I was prepared to accept the obvious: She had nabbed him, and he was taken.
And yet, to my future surprise, that was the furthest thing from the truth. They were just friends.
As you can tell by my story, I know how much havoc assumptions can wreak when you’re dating.
Appearances aren’t always as they seem.
In fact, they rarely are.
Studies show that our assumptions are wrong over 50% of the time!
What are you assuming about someone you’ve met?
What have you surmised that may not be as it seems?
Obviously there’s a happy conclusion to my story, as I’ve already shared that Alan and I are married.
But how did we go from a first date that went nowhere to finding one another years later and ending up married?
Well, as fate would have it, Alan showed up at a local bicycling group I belonged to.
We chatted after a ride, but I thought nothing else of it.
I had even forgotten that we had gone on a date 5 years earlier. (You see the same faces time and time again at these group outings.)
Now, however, he was making a concerted effort to find true love.
The cycling group had a weekend trip to Cape May, NJ coming up in early June, and we were both signed up to go.
I was 41 at the time and was coaching with a relationship coach myself.
I had been divorced for 5 years at that point, and I was motivated to marry and wanted children and a family.
Alan was also working on himself and was more clear about his goal to find a committed relationship.
Serendipity stepped in for us. We had the perfect opportunity and setting for getting to know one another.
This time the little signs that let you know when you meet the love of your life were starting to show up.
He made sure he sat at my table for dinner. He let everyone else ride ahead so he could bike with me at the back of the pack. And he offered to take me to Wildwood Amusement Park when I tried to coordinate a group outing.
As it turned out, it was just the two of us that went.
We learned more about one another and realized we had similar backgrounds and values.
After the weekend excursion— an event we both just happened to be participating in— he pursued the relationship by asking me out for a date. Finally!
The rest is history. We got engaged in December and married the next summer in 2002.
So why is this relevant to you finding true love?
Because life isn’t written in Hollywood. And love doesn’t play out in a 2-hour movie.
Sometimes, when you meet the love of your life, you may not realize it.
It takes time to get to know someone – really know them. And too many of my clients tell me there’s no spark. Yet, if there are no red flags, then my answer is to give it time – chemistry can develop!
The love of your life can be right under your nose…or shows up from your past at a time when you are both ready.
I encourage you to lift your eyes from your phone and look around you. Know that there are quality people everywhere.
Venture out and meet new people. Talk to people you’ve met before, and don’t discount them.
Give a nice person a chance. You never know! He or she could be the one.
I almost missed my husband. It was actually my coach who encouraged me to give Alan a chance.
He was more introverted than I was, and he had to get my attention. That was a big effort on his part.
If you need help to open your vistas and see who’s in front of you, let’s talk. Now is a great time to open yourself up to love.
Go to https://motivatedtomarry.com/connect-with-coach-amy/ to schedule your complimentary Meet Your Mate Strategy session.
Don’t let yourself miss any more opportunities.