middle-aged man and women enjoying coffee together as they begin a new relationship after divorce.

How To Start An Incredible, New Relationship After Divorce

15 February 2024

Several of my clients have come to me for coaching after a divorce, seeking the new loving relationship of their dreams. They want to learn how to have a successful relationship.

I can assure you; it is possible if you follow my 7 recommendations!

  1. Take the time to get to know who you are today!

    You’re a different person than you were when you met your ex. You’ve had different life experiences that have shaped you since then.

    Ask yourself questions like these:
    What do you want for your new relationship?
    What are your likes and dislikes?
    What won’t you tolerate in a new relationship?

    Take the time to explore and get to know the person you are today.

  2. Acknowledge your past and what you’ve learned.

    We can all learn from our past and I recommend you acknowledge who you were back when you met your ex.
    What would you do differently now, given who you are today? What did you learn from your marriage that you can apply to future relationships?

    When you identify, examine, and apply all this learning, there can be growth and understanding. You’ll know you won’t walk that path that leads to divorce in your new relationship.

  3. Envision what you want for your life going forward.

    If you don’t know where you’re going, you won’t know when you get there! Thinking about your ideal life and what it looks like is an important exercise I take my clients through to help them find a new relationship after divorce.

    This is a critical step because you want to find a partner who has a life vision that’s similar to yours.

    Keep in mind that similar doesn’t mean identical. It may be that you and a new partner will need to be a bit flexible in your visions so you both get what you want this time around.

    Spend some time talking about things like “Where will you be in 3 to 5 years?” and “Do your visions have you on the same path or different ones?” Having discussions like this before embarking on a new relationship is imperative.

    And if you take the chance to enter into a relationship, and there comes a point where the two of you want different things, is one of you willing to compromise?
    These are all important things to consider before entering into a new relationship.

  4. Close the door on your past marriage post-divorce.

    How can you move on with a new relationship if you’re still wrapped up with your ex? It’s critical to close the door on your past marriage so you can freely move on to a new relationship post-divorce.

    This means, NOT discussing your ex at all on a first (or even second) date. Eventually, you’ll be able to tell your story. This way, your date will see that you have closed the door on your prior marriage and divorce. And they can feel comfortable that you’re ready for a new relationship.

  5. Be open to dating people who meet your needs but might be different from your expectations. (You might be pleasantly surprised!)

    Getting a sense of different people and who is the right person for you at this time of your life will help you define a new relationship after divorce. You know what you don’t like. However, not everyone is the right fit or wants what you do at the end of the day. So, in a sense, you’re “shopping” for the right partner.

    For example, he or she may not look like what you’ve imagined. Some have a few extra pounds, the men may not have as much hair as they once had in their younger days. I’ve heard my clients tell me that while this person does not look like what they’ve imagined, they are everything they need in a partner.

  6. Be your authentic self in the new relationship.

    When you’re looking for a new relationship, you may feel the need to please this new person or seek their approval. You may even change some of the things you want for the sake of the relationship.

    However, I caution you to be your authentic self and not change for someone else; as the Billy Joel song goes, “Don’t go changin’, just to please me.” You’ll want your new partner to embrace you as you are. At a certain age, what you see is what you get. So be yourself. That’s all you have!

All in all, embrace what’s possible! Don’t let fear keep you from finding a new relationship after divorce.

If you keep positive and have your sights on what’s possible for your life, then you’ll attract the right person for a new relationship.

I’ve seen it time and time again with my clients. Go check out the great success stories on my website at https://motivatedtomarry.com/finding-love-success-stories/.

These are everyday people, like you and me.

Let me show you how to change your dating life from frustrating to fun! I look forward to hearing from you soon!

P.S. The Meet Your Mate This Year Group coaching experience is starting at the end of February!

Don’t get left behind and don’t feel like you have to do it on your own. This group of other seriously searching men and women can support you on your journey to finding true love. Let me help you make all your dreams come true!

Visit www.talkwithcoachamy.com and let’s see if this is the group for you!