Couple who knows how to make their love last in relationship cooking a new recipe together.

How to Make Love Last in a Relationship

09 February 2023

How to make love last in a relationship? That’s an age-old question. It may seem simple, but the application is harder than we’d like to admit.

The beginning of a relationship is always great. There’s a lot of passion, and the newness is exciting. We put our full attention on our partner to the exclusion of most other things. then life interrupts — family, work, and responsibilities all need attention too!

Couple who knows how to make their love last in relationship cooking a new recipe together.

And it’s when life starts to happen that you need to have some tools to help you navigate the ups and downs together. So below are 7 of my top ways to make love last in a relationship.

1. You have one another’s back.

This is the number one way that will make love last in a relationship. And my clients echo this. Most of them say this is the most important factor for them to feel loved in a relationship.

What does it mean for someone to have your back? It means you can trust this person. They’ll stand up to others who may try to bring you down.

And for you to have their back, you’re going to defend your partner, no matter what.
When you act as if “it’s us against the world,” that is a unifying belief. And one that will surely help make love last in your relationship.

2. You’re there to support one another in times of need.

This is a little different than having someone’s back. Life has ups and downs. And it’s expected that your life partner will be there for “better or for worse.” “Worse” can be a health issue, job loss, or a personal loss, like a death of a family member or close friend.

How you react in these tough times will define the relationship.

Supporting your partner in their time of need can mean many different things. It could mean being the breadwinner when your spouse loses their job. Or it could mean taking on the bulk of the housework so your partner can study for an important postgraduate degree.

Sadly, not everyone understands how to support their partner in times of need. For example, a client of mine reached out to her partner when her mom was in the hospital. Unfortunately, she was unable to reach him. What she learned later was that instead of being there to support her, he was helping his previous girlfriend. Of course, that relationship didn’t last!

3. Think like a “we” and not a “me”.

It’s important to make joint decisions and not just the ones that serve one of you. To make love last in a relationship, you must consider what’s best for you as a couple, not just each of you individually. It’s a bad sign when someone consistently makes decisions that serve them best.

One of my divorced clients was seriously dating a man and she thought they were heading to marriage. Then he bought a house without even asking her if this house would be something she’d like. In the end, this caused the couple to break up.

4. Find fun things to do together.

Monotony kills a relationship. And many of my clients value getting out and trying new things.

When was the last time you did something different? It could be something as simple as trying a different food, trying a new activity, going somewhere different by taking a trip or visiting a museum.

And if you’re feeling a bit more adventurous, you could work on making the love last in your relationship by taking dance lessons together, going to a “wine & paint” class, or learning to cook Asian cuisine together. Injecting newness into your relationship will help you keep the spark alive.

5. Take turns doing what the other prefers.

Our partners aren’t our clones. We can’t expect them to like everything we enjoy doing. And they can’t expect that we enjoy everything they like doing either.

One of you may like romcoms while the other prefers action flicks. How do you decide which type of movie to watch? You take turns and alternate.

As an example, rather than focus on feeling like you’re being dragged to accompany your partner to their event, focus on the fact that you’re supporting them. You never know, you may end up enjoying the event. And they’ll be very appreciative of your efforts.

6. Fight fair and don’t say anything you’ll regret.

Being respectful of your partner and their feelings is another important way to make love last in a relationship. That doesn’t mean you’ll always agree. Having an occasional disagreement is natural for most couples.

Some people relish conflict and avoid it. Knowing how to fight fair is critical regardless of your feelings about conflict in general. No matter what, remaining respectful and learning to keep calm, listen to both sides, and resist the urge to say something in the heat of the moment are key to making love last in a relationship. Lashing out at a loved one never sits well and will eventually cause a breakup.

7. Take time to listen to each other. Talk about dreams and desires.

In the everyday busyness of life with work, caring for kids or elderly parents, take the time to listen to one another. Ask, “How was your day?” and be present to hear the answer. Being present with each other deepens connection and makes love last in a relationship.

Listening is critical, but so is sharing and discussing your deepest dreams and desires. Having these types of discussions will strengthen your connection and foster your love for one another.

If you implement even a couple of these strategies into your everyday life, I’m sure you’ll see a difference in how you feel about one another as a couple.

I’d love to hear your comments or suggestions for making love last in a relationship.

And if you want to create the relationship of your dreams, then let’s talk. I can support you not only in finding a relationship but also in creating a relationship that will last the test of time.

Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com, fill out the simple form, and schedule some time for us to talk.  Let’s get you on track for finding lasting love sooner than later!