A group of people, including marriage-minded men, happily volunteer to pack meal kits.

How To Identify Marriage-Minded Men

23 May 2024

“Where are all the marriage-minded men? Do they even exist?” These are the laments I hear from many of my female clients.

It’s common to question this, especially if you’re not finding marriage-minded men as you are dating. So, are marriage-minded men just the stuff of legends, like rare unicorns? Or do they actually exist?

Yes, Olivia, they do exist! It’s true of men in their 30s who’ve never married. It’s true of older, more “mature” men who may be divorced or widowed!

But this question got me thinking about my clients, both men and women, who have successfully found love and gotten married. What contributed to them being marriage-minded? While not all my clients are looking for marriage partners, most desire long-term, committed relationships. So what are their commonalities? How can we spot them in the wild?

Well, when it comes to identifying marriage-minded men, I’ve found 10 significant indicators that they have in common:

  1. They are tired of dating and want to find their person!

    Many marriage-minded men have had their fill of partying and now desire to settle down with one woman. Or they may be more introverted and don’t really care for the dating scene. One way to evaluate a date’s readiness is to ask, “How do you like the dating scene?”. The answer you’ll most likely get back is, “It sucks” or “I’m tired of endless first dates”. They are ready to find their person!.

  2. They ask to be set up by their friends and family.

    Yes, set-ups and blind dates can be exhausting, but believe it or not, they are a step in the right direction if you are looking for marriage-minded men!

    These men are honest about their goals and are willing to enlist their close friends and family in their search. They are eager to meet someone through mutual connections and are open to being set up, or to go on those awkward blind dates, if it means they might find a woman with a similar desire for marriage.

  3. All their friends and family members are married.

    A marriage-minded man is often the last man standing among his friends and family. These men desire to fit in and to be included at the same stage of life as their friends. This desire to be a part of a coupled world means they are often the “third wheel” or the odd man out. However, don’t feel bad for them. Because they are comfortable being around coupled friends, they are more likely to pursue the right marriage-minded woman when she shows up.

  4. They communicate their goals in their online profiles.

    Marriage-minded men are not afraid to be transparent about their goal to find a marriage partner. They are willing to share that aspiration in their online profiles. When the survey asks for their reasons for dating, they will pick the “marriage” category!

    If you are a woman desiring to be married, make sure you aren’t wasting time on men whose profiles don’t clearly reflect marriage-mindedness.

  5. They express their long-term goals for the relationship fairly early on, often before becoming exclusive.

    When you’re dating someone who seems promising, and it appears that you’re both interested in becoming an exclusive couple, then having that heart-to-heart conversation about where the relationship is going is a natural next step. In that conversation, a marriage-minded man will express his desire to date exclusively. He’ll let you know of his intention of eventually moving the relationship toward engagement and marriage. 

  6. A man who desires to have children (this is usually true for younger men up to those around 50).

    One of the big marriage-minded motivators for men is having a family, and especially having their own children. This can look like a would-be first-time dad. Or a divorced man wanting to have another child with his new wife. Although marriage isn’t necessary to have a family, it’s often a preference for men wanting kids.

    However, if you are at the stage of life where you are dating men who are 50+, not wanting a family isn’t necessarily a red flag. While some men over 50 may want kids, not every man wants to be 70 and have a baby like Larry King!

  7. They have had consecutive, long-term relationships, and often a past marriage.

    Some men feel more comfortable in committed relationships, especially marriage. These marriage-minded men enjoy monogamous relationships and value the sanctity of marriage.

    Widowers, who had a loving wife pass, find themselves among the marriage-minded men looking for a new partner- usually within a year or two. They have appreciated the joys of marriage and miss the companionship found there. Conversely, many divorced men also desire marriage, hoping to get it right this time and experience a loving, healthy relationship.

  8. They are set with their career and feel financially stable.

    Often men who don’t feel settled in their career or don’t feel financially stable, don’t feel they can support a wife and kids. They may put off marriage and the pursuit of serious relationships until they feel more confident in their ability to provide. I’ve watched women spend far too much time pursuing men who are in this precarious state. However, when men feel accomplished and secure, they then become more focused on, and self-assured about, finding a wife.

  9. They view being married as an asset to their career and social standing.

    Some men are looking to marry up! Consider Arnold Schwarzenegger who married into the Kennedy family and became the Governor of California! Many marriage-minded men see their spouse as “the wind beneath their wings”, and long for someone who will partner with them in pursuit of something greater. They realize that they can accomplish more in life with the right wife.

  10. Their parents and siblings have had long, happy marriages.

    It’s always good to have great role models. If a man’s parents and grandparents had long, happy marriages, then he’ll most likely have a favorable view of marriage. Since childhood, this has been ingrained in him, as a desirable way to live, and he longs to replicate the kind of relationships he witnessed growing up. These men tend to be the marrying types.

If you desire marriage as your relationship’s end goal, I wish you much luck in your search for marriage-minded men. They are out there, just waiting to be discovered by someone like you.

However, it’s not entirely up to luck. It takes honest self-evaluation, a targeted strategy, and a steadfast commitment to the process. As a relationship coach, I’d love to share my proven methodology and provide support as you search for that wonderful man who desires married life with you!

Let’s get you on the right path. Grab my Dating Checklist to see how ready you are for a serious, committed relationship today!