Finding true and lasting love is the ultimate life goal for almost everyone, everywhere. 

It is such a universal desire that romantic love is the single most dominant theme across all music, literature, and dramatic works. And not just in today’s society, but throughout history and across all societies and cultures.

The Beatles probably summed it up best when they sang
“All you need is love, love. Love is all you need”. 

Yet for something so necessary to fulfillment, it isn’t always easy to find. 

During my 20+ years as a relationship and dating expert, I’ve coached hundreds of clients who have struggled to find lasting love on their own. They all ask me the same thing: why is lasting love so hard to find?  

A lot of people think love should “just happen”, that it’s luck, or that they just need to try harder. So by the time they come to me, they are frustrated and ready to give up. 

Which is why I created my Motivated to Marry® methodology for finding lasting love.  

Success in finding true, lasting love requires finding clarity, developing a strategy, and having the relationship skills necessary to make it last. It’s intentional.  

These three steps are the framework for my dating system and are the pillars that make the Motivated to Marry® Method stand out against the gimmicks, games, and cheap “pick up” tricks that are often taught by “dating experts”. 

Whether your goal is actually marriage or a serious, committed relationship, my proven 3-step coaching system is set up to address all the areas where your pursuit of love may be falling short, while also affirming where you’re succeeding.

The 3 Steps of Motivated To Marry® Coaching 

Step 1: Prepare for Love and Clarify Your Ideal Match

Most people jump into dating before they even know who or what they are looking for.

Before they understand their own motivations, strengths, or fears. 

Before they know if they are even ready to be in a committed relationship.

Skipping this step and not doing the inner prep work is why so many people keep falling into the same problematic dating patterns, instead of finding lasting love. 

Singles often get caught up in the chemistry they have with someone and overlook if their date actually aligns with their life goals and values.  

So during this phase of coaching, I take a whole-life approach. 

We look at your lifestyle, your family, your career, your life stage, and discuss how any or all of this may affect your search to find lasting love.

We discuss prior dating strengths and shortcomings, relationship history and dating patterns, along with addressing any dating fears or “gremlins” that may be holding you back.  

Then we spend plenty of time getting crystal clear on your values, relationship goals, life plans, your vision of the ideal partner, and how that person might fit into your life. In order for a relationship to have longevity is is crucial that the couple wants the same things in life. 

What I’ve found is that when singles have done the inner work and confronted their gremlins, are truly clear on who they’re looking for, and know that they are truly ready to love and be loved, the next two steps become much easier.
 

Step 2: Meet and Date the Right People More Strategically 

Old habits die hard. But continuing to do the same old thing that has never worked won’t help you find someone new worth dating.

Instead of dating the same way you’ve always done, this is where we work on being more intentional in how you date. This means creating a dating strategy that considers your personality, lifestyle, and even stage of life. 

Half the battle for most singles is knowing where to find people to date who align with their values, goals, and interests. 

So I help you explore new options and consider dating differently than you’ve done before.

Online Dating

I strongly encourage all my clients to incorporate online dating into their dating plan, if they haven’t already. 

And if you are online, we review your profile so I can help you make some strategic changes that instantly improve the quality of matches you make.

Knowing how to best present yourself and your intentions in your online dating profile while also knowing how to accurately read someone else’s profile is a teachable skill. 

Once you figure it out, you’ll never look at profiles the same again. 

(And thanks to my previous experience as a personal stylist, I’m able to help my clients with their profile photos and wardrobe choices!)

Introductions

In addition to online dating, I teach my clients how to make ambassadors of their trusted friends and family members, so personal introductions yield better results as well.

These are people in your life who already want to see you find lasting love, so I help you equip them with the right information.

Having trusted people who know very specifically what your ideal partner looks like and who are watching their circles for this person is a game-changer!

This has resulted in actual matches that may not have happened if the client hadn’t proactively asked the right people for their help.

In-Person 

Most singles’ dating strategies still include meeting people out in the real world, and I encourage that! But I help you make better decisions where you put your time and energy.  

Yes, you can meet someone in a bar, club, or at a singles mixer, but it’s a toss-up if anyone in these places is looking for a serious commitment, or if they are even remotely aligned with your values. 

I help my clients find better events and activities where they are more likely to meet people who align with their values and interests.

In addition to WHERE to find dates, we always spend time discussing how you show up on dates, etiquette, how to quickly assess if someone is a good potential match, determining chemistry vs. compatibility, and so much more.

This step in coaching, where you’re actually dating, is usually the longest part. And I am available to walk through it all with you. 

Often, I find my clients need to revisit their values or gremlins, or other parts of Step 1, as they refine their strategy and create a more intentional plan. 

But this is also the fun part, where you are meeting new people, being more strategic in who you give your time to, and learning to truly recognize the right person when they come along! 

Step 3: Build a Relationship That Leads to Lasting Love 

Many of my clients meet their True Love within three to six months of coaching. But moving from knowing a match is “the One” to a committed relationship can be tricky for some. 

Once you think you’ve found a potential Mr/s Right, do you know how to progress the relationship from just Dating to Exclusive. Or from Exclusive to Committed (or Engaged if that’s your goal). 

Then there are those people who are great at dating and horrible at creating a lasting relationship. 

They may need coaching to become a better partner. Others may need to learn how to ask for what they want and need in a relationship.

And for some, those old relationship patterns or gremlins sneak back in, and they need coaching on how to move forward into a healthy relationship. 

Often, I end up coaching the couple together as they progress into a committed relationship, and it’s always a joy to be part of their love story. 

Having an expert guiding you onto and along the right path can be a valuable resource for relationship success.

My Motivated To Marry® Methodology sounds like three simple steps, but it’s a proven system that has worked for hundreds of singles for over 20 years!

While the 3 steps are always the same, how they apply to you and your journey to lasting love is as unique as you are. And that’s the beauty of what I do. 

It seems simple, but having an expert to really guide you and show you your blind spots makes all the difference!

If you want to stop wasting time with poor matches, endless awkward set-ups, and the sketchy bar scene, let’s talk about how the Motivated To Marry Dating Methodology can help you.

It’s not too late. You are not unlovable. You are never too old.
(My clients range from late 20s to early 80s, both men and women, too!)

If you’re ready to finally find true and lasting love, let’s talk. Schedule a complimentary Meet Your Mate Strategy Session with me, and let’s get you on the path to true and lasting love.

About the Author

is a certified life coach and dating/relationship expert who has helped hundreds of marriage-minded singles find lasting, committed partnerships since 2005. Through private coaching and group programs, she specializes in helping people date with clarity, confidence, and purpose.