Man waiting and wondering if he's in the right relationship.

How Do I Know This Is the Right Relationship for Me?

26 October 2023

Are you asking yourself, “Is this the right relationship for me?”   Then you’ve come to the right place for the answer!

Many times I have a coaching client who is coupled, has been dating someone exclusively for a while, and is questioning if this is the right relationship for them.   

The next step is to explore what could be causing this indecision. 

Most people can feel that something isn’t right and yet just can’t quite put it into words.

The goal of coaching is to identify what’s not working in the relationship. And then to see if there is a way to best communicate those issues to your partner and to see if there is any way to work towards resolving those issues. 

Some people are open to learning and growing in a relationship and others aren’t. We can’t do much with those who won’t respect our needs or try to honor our requests. Sometimes, there’s something my clients need to accommodate or change to feel more comfortable in the relationship.

And other times, the impasse is too big for the couple to come to a compromise.  

When evaluating whether your relationship is the right one for you, you need to check to see if your goals are the same. If you want different things, then it may not be the right relationship. 

For example, if one person wants to have a child and the other doesn’t then it’s best to find out sooner than later. 

Or if one person is retired and desires a partner who can take off and go sailing in the middle of the day, and the other still has plans to work for financial security or personal fulfillment, then this relationship may not work in the long term. 

Also, when you’re questioning, “If this is the right relationship for me?”, there may be some core relationship values that aren’t being honored. 

One of my clients recently shared that although there were many good traits in the man she was dating, what was missing for her was that they didn’t seem to have meaningful conversations. She realized they were “doing” activities like theatre and had very little time to talk. She felt the need to build a real connection, they needed to have deeper conversations. I encouraged her to suggest they have more time to talk before breaking the relationship off and give him a chance to see if this is something he’s capable of doing. 

Other things also come into play when you ask yourself, “Is this the right relationship for me?” There is chemistry and compatibility. Chemistry is the physical pull you feel or “sexual tension”. Just because there’s chemistry, doesn’t mean this is the right life partner for you. 

On the compatibility side, you can like someone very much and everything can seem aligned. However, can you live with them? Are your living habits on the same page? Organized versus cluttered, clean versus dirty, and pets versus no pets! Can you deal with their kids or parents?

Only you can determine if this is the right relationship for you. And many times, our gremlins can get in our way, or our fear of making a huge mistake.

I have had several clients that almost gave up a really great relationship too soon. Our coaching encouraged them to look deeper and explore what’s possible before turning this person away. And most are still in sustaining, loving relationships!

Many times, our coaching helps my clients feel more confident that this is the right relationship for them. I can show you how to trust yourself more fully so you can make the right decisions for your significant relationship and your life.

If you want to date with confidence, then let’s talk! I can show you how dating can be fun and no longer just a chore! 

I’ve got your back. Let’s do this!

I’m now helping my clients get ready for the best time of year to meet the right person, after New Year’s Eve in January. On average, it takes my clients 2 to 3 months to be truly ready and open to meeting the right one. So, let’s talk soon and get you on the right track to find lasting love.