Guy and gal friends looking at a post over coffee.

How Being Friends With The Opposite Sex Impacts Your Search For Love

01 December 2021

You say you’re “just friends.” With opposite-sex pals, however, that’s not as simple as it sounds. It comes with pros, cons…and even possibilities. So, if your bestie can’t follow you into the same restroom, it’s probably a good idea to get real about your friendship.

The path to finding true love has a way of adding meaning to things you otherwise wouldn’t give a second thought to. How you spend your free time…your relationship with your family…being friends with opposite-sex people. It all has a way of “playing a role” in your dating life.

Guy and gal friends looking at a post over coffee.

Does it really make a difference if you have friends of the opposite sex? Should it even matter?

Well, let’s look at some of the pros and cons.

Here are some of the advantages of being friends with opposite-sex people:

  • You get to learn how the opposite sex thinks.

    Because you’re “just friends,” you’re more likely to be your authentic selves with one another. You can talk about dating and male-female relationships. Having a buddy of the opposite sex gives you a fly-on-the-wall view of behaviors and thought patterns that would otherwise leave you bewildered.

  • You have a built-in wing-person.

    Heading out for the evening, but don’t want to go alone? You and your friend can look out for one another, helping to draw attention from potential “candidates of interest” and/or setting up introductions.

  • You have an in with your friend’s friends.

    There really is no better way to learn about a person’s integrity than to meet his/her friends. If your friend has a party, you have a VIP pass to the people who mean the most to him/her. And perhaps there are singles among his/her friends that interest you.

  • You will appear more approachable.

    When you’re hanging out with friends of the opposite sex, you give off the vibe of being comfortable with everyone. There’s nothing like speaking someone else’s language to make you all the more desirable.

  • Your friendship could lead to romance.

    Unexpected romance doesn’t blossom only out of Hollywood on-screen friendships. It happens in real life, too. And sometimes that’s the relationship that survives the toughest of times. When “just friends” morphs into true love, you have the benefit of having witnessed one another in your most honest states. Friendship really is the most essential underlying component of a healthy relationship.

And now for some cons of being friends with opposite-sex people:

  • You’re put into the “friend zone.”

    And you may not necessarily want to be there. It can be tough to break out of the “just friends” label.

  • People may assume you’re romantically involved.

    When you are out in public together, it’s only natural that people who don’t know you may assume the two of you are a couple. If someone doesn’t know differently, s/he probably won’t be inclined to approach you to strike up a conversation.

  • If you’re dating someone, your partner may not be so understanding of this opposite-sex friend of yours.

    Why do you need this person as your confidant and “pal?” Aren’t you supposed to have that kind of relationship with your romantic partner?

  • You may be misperceived as “one of the guys/gals.”

    When you blend right in with your opposite-sex friend’s inner circle, you may not be seen as relationship material.

Being friends with opposite-sex people can be incredibly fulfilling. What matters is that you’re authentic and honest about the nature of your relationship.

As long as you’re setting and abiding by healthy boundaries, you can benefit from one of the most unique and valuable relationships of your life.

Ready to bypass the “friend zone”? Then let’s talk! Visit to find a convenient time for us to connect. I can help you meet a romantic life partner, even if you aren’t naturally good at this stuff.