Do you want to hire a dating coach? Do you hear yourself saying,“Finding my life partner should not be this hard!” or “My friends met their spouse naturally. Why is this not happening for me?” This is what I hear from my clients time and time again. Does this sound familiar to you?
When I turned 40 and I was frustrated with the dating merry-go-round, and truly wanted to be married with a family, I did hire a dating coach who was a relationship expert.
That was the best move I ever made. (Besides marrying my husband Alan!)
I consider myself a smart person and very accomplished. So why couldn’t I find someone who would be the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with?
I knew where the singles were, went to singles events and even dated online. I met men. That wasn’t my issue.
However, finding the right guy for me was where I got hung up.
And doesn’t every guy in my age group (35 to 49) want marriage and a family?
Not necessarily so anymore!
There are so many things competing for our time these days. And when you are out of college and grad school, everyone has different goals in life.
Dating takes a methodical approach. We hire coaches to help you in other areas of your life when you want to accomplish such things as finding a new job, or losing 20 pounds or learning a new skill or musical instrument. So why shouldn’t you hire a dating coach for finding true love?
And when you want to hire a dating coach, there is a step by step process for that too. This is the person you are going to trust with one of the most important decisions in your life.
So I don’t recommend when you decide to hire a dating coach to take this very casually since this move will impact your future happiness.
So I want to help you think about what you need to look for when you are considering hiring a dating coach.
1. Credentials and Training:
When you look to hire a dating coach, is he or she a certified professional coach recognized by the ICF or a social worker or LCSW? Where did he or she go through their training and for how long? And did they get their training from a reputable program recognized by a reputable organization? And what is required to keep this credential? As an ICF credentialed coach, I have to have 40 hours of continued education within a 3 year timeframe.
Unfortunately, anyone can call themselves a coach. I know matchmakers that call themselves coaches who went to a three day training and got a “certification”. As coaches and counselors we are required to work with a coach and have supervisions. Most reputable coaching programs take at least a year’s time. So before you consider to hire a dating coach, find out the extent of their coach training.
2. Experience – both personal and work
When I wanted to hire a dating coach, I looked for someone who had a successful marriage, experience and wisdom. He was an experienced coach and had been running a well know coaching program for singles. He came highly recommended.
If you want to get married, then find someone who is married or had been married. I know some very good coaches who were widowed or even divorced. They can share their perspectives. However, my coach was divorced and remarried. That gave me hope.
I do see some 30 something relationship coaches who are now married. Honestly, I’d like to see them 10 years from now. Are they still married? How is their relationship now that children may be in the picture? I do think living a couple of decades gives you wisdom and perspective.
And what kind of work experiences has the coach had? How does that add to the overall coaching experience? And, what would be a good fit for you? I tend to attract people who are self-employed (or have a desire to be so). I have owned my own companies for over 30 years. The single entrepreneur has some unique circumstances and I have helped my clients with their businesses on their way to finding true love too!
3. Find a proven system – create a plan!
Coaching is about setting your life goals, looking at what is getting in your way and charting a path based upon your goals and core values. There is a specific agenda for each coaching session. Something that moves you closer to your goal.
During my divorce, I sought out a therapist. She was very helpful to get me to process my loss, and to get the support I needed to move forward. However, for dating I felt something was missing. The conversation concluded with “get more information”. There was no direction to the sessions and I felt like I was running in circles.
Then I met a coach. He had a specific program and an approach. This resonated with me. So I hired a dating coach when I felt like I was dating in circles. I saw that there was a process and I felt like I was finally moving forward. It helped me move beyond some limiting beliefs that were holding me back.
I learned new things about myself and made conscious decisions about who I would date and whom I would not. I also got challenged to think outside my normal box.
I completed my coach’s program with a game plan and then I hired the dating coach privately in order to get support around implementing the plan. This was critical to my success in meeting my husband!
4. Look at what’s included in the coaches’ full coaching package?
What other benefits are included in the entire coaching package? Is there a peer community to give you additional support? Is there a Facebook Group? A membership group to get feedback and ideas? Do you get access to the coaches’ online coaching program? Do you get invited to workshops or retreats? What other services do you get? I offer an online profile review to my Meet Your Mate Diamond clients who commit to a 6 month coaching package.
I also offer life coaching exercises and my specialized values clarification session which is one of the most impactful exercises I do with my clients. The values are the foundational piece for my coaching and for seeking your spouse.
I invite you to read my success stories on the Motivated to Marry website and I’m sure you will read the impact of my clients discovering their core relationship values and how important that exercise was to finding their life partner.
5. Accessibility: email/text/phone support
How accessible is your coach? Do you have access to him or her between sessions? What if something happens and you need to talk? Can you do so?
My Diamond clients can email me or text me and I will respond within 24 hours or sooner unless I’m on vacation. Even then, I’ve even gotten on the phone with a client who had a real need to talk out a situation while on my family vacation to Florida!
When you hire a dating coach, knowing that your coach is fully there for you for support is very important.
6. A proven track record / what kind of clients have they been successful with?
Does the coach have many success stories? Have they had success with someone similar to you? (Age, marital status, ethnic, religion, gender, educational level, etc.)
How long have they been coaching and how many clients have they supported? Also, how does the coach define success for the client?
For me, a good outcome is clarity and having a better sense of their goals. If a client tells me that they are clear they want to be married and have a family, when they may have been unsure, that success!
When a client has not been dating at all and is meeting eligible people for dating, that is success. Only the client can define what success looks like.
As a life coach, one of the first things I ask for is for the client to write out their primary focus of our coaching relationship. Many times several other goals besides meeting the love of their life comes up for my clients that they want to work on in our coaching time together. These goals are usually intertwined with the finding love goal and have a big impact on their dating life, such as losing 20 lbs., organizing their home or considering changing jobs!
Today, when looking to hire a coach, his or her reputation is very important for both online and in your personal social network. Does your coach have a favorable reputation? What are others saying about her? Just know that there are different styles of coaching and only you know what is right for you.
However, with any grapevine heresy, I recommend you make up your own mind based upon your personal experience with the coach. Many coaches will offer you a complimentary strategy or coaching session so you can experience first-hand their coaching style. Make your own judgement rather on relying on someone else’s opinion. And everyone has their own come from place that may be totally different than yours.
8. The Investment
Of course, you want to know how much it will cost you to hire a dating coach. Each coach has their own pricing schedule and packages. Make sure you know what’s included for the price, how many sessions and for how long you are committing to the coaching package.
Make sure you are comparing similar coaching packages. For my 6 month clients, We meet for 12 hours of coaching plus, there is email support and my clients get invited to any group coaching I may have. I have monthly question and answer support calls for my entire Motivated to Marry Community that my Diamond clients can attend for no extra charge. I also review and edit their online dating profile that takes me a couple of hours outside our one on one coaching time together.
And I have seen a wide range of prices for 6 months of coaching from $3000 to $16,000! Lots depends on where the coach is located and the kind of clients he or she coaches. New York City and LA coaches tend to be the most expensive! And most coaches offer payment plans for those who want to spread the payments out over time. Usually the payment plan costs a bit more than the full pay package rate.
Or many coaches offer a 6 hour coaching packages that are less robust and VIP coaching packages that will jumpstart your dating. I have a six hour coaching package that can be used within a 3 month period. This is $1995 for this package. Some coaches charge $5000 for a VIP coaching day!
And for those who want to save money and want access to my online self-study coaching package, clients can listen to my audios and work through my worksheets on their own and attend my twice a month questions and answers sessions via conference call to support their journey. This is good for self-learners who are disciplined enough to go through the program on their own. This costs $997 full pay or $397 for 3 months as the payment plan.
All in all, I recommend you find out what is included and all the bonuses, as well. That way you can compare what you are investing in. However, the one on one coaching is what most people consider when they want to hire a dating coach.
9. Rapport – fit with personality
One of the most important considerations when you hire a dating coach is your rapport with the coach. Do you like this person? Do you trust this person? Does he or she seem to know their stuff and seem credible? And how do they make you feel? Supported and cared for?
Different people have different needs. Can the coach accommodate those needs? And are you able to communicate what you need from the coach? I ask my clients, “What do you need from me as your coach?” If a coach doesn’t ask that question, that would raise a red flag for me!
And you would most likely have had a sample or complimentary coaching session with the coach to tell if you feel this is the right person for you.
I consider it like dating. You know when it’s right. However, sometimes I don’t know and I’m pleasantly surprised when a client who “needs time to think about it” comes back and wants to coach with me.
I truly value the relationship with my clients and for the most part, enjoy the relationship. We have similar values, mutual respect and consideration for one another. And many times they invite me to their wedding! The relationship continues past our coaching time together!
10. Other skills and abilities coach brings to the table
Many coaches have had past careers and skills that they bring to the coaching relationship. I owned a clothing boutique for 13 years and also had an image consulting business, as well. I was trained in color and make up and I help my clients look their best for any occasion.
So now I help my clients with looking their best for their dating life and to put their best foot forward online. I help my clients pick out the right outfits and then I carefully scan through the hundreds of photos from a photo shoot to recommend the best shot that will attract the right person.
I have been told that the photos I recommend do attract a better quality person.
So what else does your coach bring to the coaching relationship?
So where do you find the kind of coach you are seeking to hire?
When I hired my dating coach, I had been divorced for about 5 years, struggling with finding the right person and was 40 years old. I had learned about him from one of my support groups for people going through a divorce and attended his seminar. The title was right for where I was at the time: The top 10 dating myths.
I resonated with what he shared in his talk. He was experienced, on his second marriage and he had a group coaching program that seemed to be perfect for my needs. So I joined his group coaching program! Because of my personality, that group fit my needs. I like to learn from other people and hear the different perspectives.
Then I wanted to work deeper and have his personal help and guidance to find my soulmate.
He had all the right stuff for me. Everything I described above.
I truly don’t know if I’d be married (to my husband) if it wasn’t for moving forward to hire a dating coach.
So, can I recommend something to you? Only you can decide if I’m the right coach for you. And I mentioned that when I was looking to hire a dating coach when I was frustrated and wanted to learn a better way to go about dating when I was struggling to meet someone who also was dating for the purpose of marriage.
If you follow these 10 areas to consider when you are looking to hire a dating coach, then you will be in good hands. You will see that your goals will move forward and you will better your chances of finding your forever spouse!
And If I can serve you in anyway, I would be honored to be your dating coach and so much more!
— Coach Amy