So what if you were not working currently because you are “in-between” jobs or in a transition- would you be brave enough to date when unemployed? Also, what if you were working a job that was beneath your skills to just pay your bills, would you be inclined to date? Would your pride take yourself out the dating playing field even though you really want to find a serious relationship?
I believe that gender may matter here. For women, it seems to be easier to date under these circumstances especially if you subscribe to more traditional roles. However, for men it can be very difficult since cultural roles expect the man to pay for dates, especially in the beginning of a relationship.
One of my female clients told me that she went out with a man who was unemployed. He paid for the date and then told her of his situation. I give him a lot of credit for being honest and upfront. That takes courage.
Here’s my dating advice for men (and women):
- Be honest and upfront about your circumstances.
- Don’t apologize for your situations
- Stay positive
When the what do you do question comes your way, you could say, “I’m in transition. I am taking proactive steps. I have several opportunities that I am pursuing.” Or you can say, “I am working at Borders part-time while I pursue more meaningful opportunities.”
One of my male friends in his mid 30’s was still living at home and working 2 jobs, one which is his part-time DJ business that takes place mostly on the weekends. When he met his wife, she was understanding about his situation and not judgmental. With her support and income they were able to move into their own place and my friend had the opportunity to pursue his entrepreneurial career.
Also, if you have any major debts, be upfront about that before you start dating exclusively. One of my clients was dating a guy and became engaged. A couple months later she found out he was in debt to the tune of 5 figures! He never said anything about it and was spending as if he did not have this debt. She did break up with him over this issue- because she felt she could not trust him in the money-spending area. The key here is to be honest and upfront. Show your partner to be that you have a plan to eliminate the debt and that it is under control.
I hope you have learned some new strategies and ideas on how to date when your disposable income has been squeezed. What do you plan on doing to date on a budget? What issues have come up for you while dating in this tough economy?