No doubt about it — we’re living in strange times! Who would have ever imagined that a divided world would be united by a common (and invisible) enemy? Suddenly everything seems more difficult and out-of-reach. And, for single, marriage-minded people, the hope to find love — let alone to find love online — can seem “non-essential”…even impossible.
But, if there is anything we are learning during this time of social distancing, it’s what is truly essential.
We are also learning just how creative and resourceful we are. We’re more aware of what truly matters. We’re more present to those we love. And we’re figuring out ways to help each other get essential needs met.
Think not being able to meet someone in person makes trying to find love online a waste of time? Think again. Singles have been downloading and using dating apps in droves. Seems the hope of finding true love is alive and well, despite the current detour to connecting IRL.
Sure, online dating means time spent filtering out all those undesirable and inappropriate candidates. It means creating or updating your own profile, which means staying in touch with yourself and what you really want in a relationship.
But these are all skills you have to master anyway, whether you’re trying to find love online or in person.
If you’re looking for more than casual dating or a simple hook-up, you’re going to have to make the effort. And, by choosing to see opportunity in this time of social distancing, this can be the perfect time to find love online.
One thing everyone in the world has in common right now is the lifestyle change brought on by the coronavirus. People are working from home. Their workday wardrobes have been pared down to comfy sweats or leggings and flip-flops. They’re wearing masks and perhaps skipping make-up.
They’re also relying on technology to connect with loved ones in new and creative ways.
It’s no wonder, then, that relationship-seeking singles are applying that same ingenuity to online dating. They’re slowing down. They’re getting to know each other. They’re focusing on those relationship qualities that often get overlooked when couples rush into sex.
They are, in essence, returning to courtship.
Singles aren’t letting sheltering-in-place stop them from meeting new people and having “dates” to look forward to.
You may be at a loss for how to explore a potential relationship with only a phone and a computer. But, if you’re willing to have fun with the experience, your creativity will flow and you will feel more at ease.
You can pour a glass of wine and have a virtual happy hour. You can talk “over dinner”…or even cook dinner “together.” If you play an instrument, you can treat your date to a taste of your talent. You can do a virtual workout together. You can even get together for a social-distance walk if you live close enough and really want to meet in person.
Let me share with you the example of one of my clients who has found love online during this time of social distancing.
Ken is a good-looking, single dad in his 40’s. He is an accomplished professional who has had greater success in his career than he has had with matchmakers.
Frustrated by his inability to find love online or in person, after trying matchmaking services for a couple of years, he finally came to me for coaching.
We got to work discussing who he is and what he wants in a relationship. It meant Ken had to really examine his core values and intentions. Only then could we tweak his profile to reflect his genuine self and set him up to attract the best candidates.
Shortly after “re-packaging” Ken’s profile, Jessica reached out to him on a popular dating site. The attraction was instant. And, despite living in different countries, they immediately began exploring and deepening their connection.
They finally moved from messaging and phone calls to video chatting. And they’ve been using this virtual format to create a long-distance dating life. They spend a lot of time together virtually on the weekends. And they’ve even introduced one another to their parents virtually.
I’ve also used this virtual format to do Zoom coaching sessions with both of them.
Despite the obvious challenge that distance imposes, Ken and Jessica already know they’re meant to be together. They’re using this time of forced separation to learn about one another as deeply as possible. And, if international travel is possible this summer, they’ll finally get to be together in person.
Believe it or not, many of my clients have found true love over the last six months. They range in age from early 30’s to 70’s, and all have strong online profiles. They’re accomplished, wonderful people — proof positive that quality people do exist online.
The beauty of this awkward time is that it gives you the opportunity to slow down.
Taking the time to reconnect with who you are and what you want will make you a better potential partner. And it will help you attract like-minded candidates.
The other benefit of this challenging, isolated time is that you get to show how you adapt to difficulties. What a powerful quality to share with someone! Likewise, you get to see how someone you’re interested in handles difficulties. Are you both positive? Do you come up with creative solutions? Do you keep a sense of humor? Do you still have a vision for the future?
What matters is how you choose to see this time. How you choose to use it in the quest to find love — online today, in-person tomorrow — can set the stage for the rest of your life.
So I recommend you keep on your journey to find true love. He or she is at home searching for you!
Stay safe and be well,
PS: If you’re ready for a focused, proven approach to finding a life partner that truly works, then sign up for a Meet Your Mate Strategy session. During this session, we’ll discuss how you’re meeting new people for dating (or not!) and provide you with my personalized steps for you to find true love. Go to TalkwithCoachAmy.com to schedule your session today.