Let me see if you can relate to this.  You meet someone you are very much attracted to.  You try and get their attention.  You may have even succeeded in going out with them (you did the asking) and yet, there is no reciprocal action.  He or she is happy to accept your invitations.  However, they are not calling you.  It is not reciprocal.

Not everyone single person is motivated to marry.  Just this week, I met a very handsome, polished professional 43 year old man who is divorced with a college aged child (and out of the house!).  Finding love is the last thing on his to do list.  What he is focused on is his career.  He wants to be in a much better financial situation before thinking of getting serious with anyone.

I have heard this story over and over again from attractive, seemly eligible single people who are really not on the market.  If you are truly a marriage-minded person, you would be barking up the proverbial wrong tree.  This is why it is important to look for people who are marriage minded.  These people are also putting a priority on finding love and want a life with that special person sooner than later.   I do meet many perennially single people through my networking.

One of my coaching clients, Kathy, is very attractive, late 40’s woman who had never been married.  She met this very handsome man with his own business, divorced with children who live in a different city.  What I found out was that she was making most of the effort and traveled to him to see him most times.  This was going on for over two years!

Through the coaching she realized that she was not going to get more of his time and commitment.  She had to make a decision.  She chose to leave and make herself available again.

In a couple of months, she met her now current boyfriend online.  They are dating exclusively and she is enjoying the time and attention that she never got with her old boyfriend.

A romantic relationship has to be reciprocal or you will be doing all the work with little to show for it in the end.  You have to ask yourself, “Do I really have time to wait for this guy or gal?”  And even if you do, it may not end up as you had hoped.  How long will you wait for this person to know if you have found true love leading to marriage?

This coach recommends you stop chasing.  That is the only way you will know if your intended has the same level of interest (and focus) as you do in finding love.

What do you think?  This curious coach would love to know.

Warm Wishes for a happy holiday,

Coach Amy

PS.  A new year is coming soon.  Do you have a plan for finding love for 2013?  Let me help you get ready for the New Year with a Meet your Motivated to Marry Mate Strategy Session. Fill out my brief survey at www.talkwithcoachamy.com and then we can schedule your strategy session.

2 Responses

  1. Hey my name is Aaron im 21 and im still never dataed and I hadism14ale friend she was14 and I thought she was a true friend recently she stopped talking to me at all she starts talking to other people now more than me will I ever get any true friends or not?

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    • I know you may not think so, you are young and this women is really a child. I recommend you stick closer to people close to your age to develop friendships. (up or down 3 years).
      Find people who share your interests, passion and values. It will happen. If you need to talk to someone, seek out a social worker, counselor or clery person to give you support and guidance.

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