By now you may have noticed that as you are dating, not every single person is truly seeking a serious, committed relationship. Just know that some people have more capacity to be in relationship than others.
And, if you are dating with a desire to have a long-term committed relationship, how can you recognize someone as being motivated to have a committed relationship that would lead to marriage?
There are certain characteristics of a person who is commitment-focused. I’d like to share my top signs of a relationship-focused person:
- They want to see you and spend time with you – consistently!
- You can count of them. They follow through on what they say.
- They want to include you in their social and family events/activities. They want to introduce you to their kids or parents.
- They want to make plans with you in advance for dates. No wondering when you are going to see them next!
- They share their future plans that include you – travel plans and may even blurt out “When we get married…” or “When we live together..”.
- They tend to be in serial relationships and are not on their own, out of a relationship for long stretches of time. (unless they have children or other major care responsibilities).
Now there are circumstances that the later may not be true, however, most relationship-driven people will follow this pattern.
Do beware. Every once in a while, you may come across someone whose motives are not as pure as they may seem. They know what to say to get you in a position to think they are commitment-oriented, when they truly do not desire a long-term committed relationship in good faith.
How to you find this out? In most instances, the unscrupulous are seeking an intimate physical relationship very quickly or are taking advantage of you for your stable financial situation by asking for money or a loan (that they will never pay back).
So you see, not everyone’s looking to find a life partner at this moment with pure intentions. And yet, there are many who do seek this. So don’t give up hope.
Many of my clients have refined their dating process so they can recognize good people with the right intentions. The are meeting great people and getting engaged in 3 months to a year’s time depending on someone’s age and life goals.
The only way to be sure that a physical relationship is not the primary motive is to wait until you are in an exclusive, committed relationship for a month to 3 months before getting sexually involved with your partner. (I know this can be going against the popular norms these days!) In this way, you can see that someone has consistent behaviors and has honorable intentions.
Now that you know the top signs of a relationship-focused person. Surely this will help you as you put forth your energies in the right direction as you are looking for a committed love partner this fall.