Spring is in the air and the possibility of love abounds, especially here in the mid-Atlantic and Northern US States. Perhaps you feel like you have been out there dating for a long time and have nothing to show for it. Or perhaps you are back out there dating after ending a long-term relationship recently and dreading this whole dating thing to push yourself to meet your life partner. No matter what, dating takes a lot of resolve and for you to get back on the proverbial horse again.  So how do you meet quality people who are marriage-minded?

I have a fresh perspective on dating: consider dating to be a feedback loop.

If things don’t work out as planned, I suggest you ask yourself, “What was not working for me?” or “What do I need to do differently next time?”. When you do this, you will start to develop tighter boundaries and a better sense of what works for you in relationships and what doesn’t.

Dating is as much about fit as it is chemistry.

Finding the right mate takes both your head and your heart. When you have both, the magic will occur for you. I promise!

Also, I recommend that you stretch yourself outside your comfort zone as you search for true love.

What does that mean?

Well, to try new activities and look for new ways to meet quality people who are looking for committed relationships themselves. Then go back and tweak what you were doing with both online dating, where you go, and how you are when attending events and activities.

For instance, I was in a group called Bike and Brunch for several years. What I liked about this group is that they had fun events, bike rides, and we would go to brunch after the ride. We have a meal together and have a chance to talk to those who may have been buzzing past me on their bike. (I was in the slow group that trailed in the back of the pack!) Also, there was a good mix of men and women who attended the rides and related social activities.

This group really got to know one another well. Often I would hear, “I see the same people here. There is no one new to meet.” from the members that attended regularly. However, I knew that not to be true. New men and women showed up to the group all the time so you could meet quality people for dating.

I had been a member of the group for 5 years when I met my husband Alan. I had not seen him at Bike and Brunch since he was in a relationship previously. The funny thing was that we went on a date 5 years earlier and met elsewhere.

Timing has a lot to do with dating.

And we both were in a place to be ready for a significant relationship. When we dated 5 years earlier, I was separated from my first husband and not yet divorced. Also, Alan was still dating someone else and was on a break when we met the first time!

Moreover, looking back I may not have been that accessible for dating since I was both the owner and the manager of my boutique and worked long hours, as well as was in the midst of finalizing my divorce. So my heart wasn’t really open then.

However, a couple of years later when I turned 40, something changed in me. (Maybe it was because I was working with a dating-relationship coach!). Even though I was Motivated to Marry and really wanted children, I decided whatever will be, will be. I became more relaxed about dating.

I decided to live my best life and to be happy with who I was. This changed how people felt around me energetically. Guess what, I started attracting more men, and better-quality guys too.

And that is when I reconnected with Alan. We both had done some work on ourselves and recognized that we could be right for one another.

Amazingly, we started dating in June, were exclusive by September, and engaged by the year’s end! We were married the following summer and will be celebrating our 15th Wedding anniversary this July.

What needs to change in you to be open and ready for love?

And who do you need to be to be to see more possibilities for love? (Calm, self-assured, happy, fun, playful, confident, etc.!)  You could meet quality people – if you become open to doing so.

I challenge you to step into your better self. Your future self, the one that is in a loving relationship with the man (or woman) of your dreams.

All the best in love and life,

Coach Amy

PS. If you truly want to meet quality people and “Get It Right This Time” (That’s the name of one of my books), I’d love to chat! Go to www.TalkwithCoachAmy.com and grab a time for us to chat!