In my opinion, online dating is one of the best ways to find true love. Although to be successful at it you need to understand the online dating rules.
And looking back at 2 decades of helping clients with their online profiles, and supporting their dating journey, over 80% of my successfully coupled clients met their life partners through an online dating site.
So, I do know a thing or two about the current online dating rules. So, to help you along your journey to finding true love online. I’m going to help you with the first set of rules you need to know: the online dating rules about texting.
Since messaging is the first step in finding true love online, you really need to know these rules first you’ll find it difficult to get past all the messaging to actually meet in person.
1. Take the time to say something of substance initially.
If you initiate, don’t just say, “hi” or “hey.” Take the time to share why you reached out and share the connection you see with them. Most of my clients tell me they don’t take it seriously when people “Like” their profile or the other person’s profile doesn’t look filled in or they aren’t able to express themselves well.
2. Always be polite and a gentleman or lady.
Don’t write crude or elicit stuff. Most seriously searching men or women will block you for being so forward and not showing pure intentions. And if you don’t get the response you’re looking for, don’t be mean or show hurt. Just move on. Following the online dating rules would be understanding that dating online is just a numbers game and seeking out like-minded, quality people. You have to weed through those who don’t line up for you.
3. Don’t message someone constantly all day long.
Give the person breathing room. People have busy lives and may not be able to get back to you instantly. Consider it like a ping pong game. You message someone and then it’s the other person’s time to hit the ball back or message you back. Let the person know when is a good time to contact you and when you’re open to receiving texts. Much depends on your schedule, your home responsibilities, and your work environment too.
Make requests of this person about what works for you, and see if they can honor this ask. It will give you insight into if this person respects boundaries or not which shows their capacity for being in a health relationship.
4. Wait for someone to respond before you reach out again.
This needs to be a mutual interaction. If you’re constantly texting, you’ll be deemed unsafe, needy, and a pest. You may get blocked or even worse, kicked off the dating site. The only time you may override this is if you think the person didn’t get the message or something doesn’t seem right with their phone messaging. You may call the person too if you’ve already had a phone conversation.
5. Don’t give your real cell number to a stranger.
Use the site’s messaging feature or give someone your Google number, where your cell number is masked. That way you can block someone or they don’t have access to your actual cell number. You need to do this to protect yourself from the occasional crazy person that may cross your path.
6. Don’t use texting to convey feelings.
This is one online dating rule most people overlook. However, it’s important because it’s so easy to misconstrue texts that try to convey emotions. Texting is best for providing or sharing concrete information such as “confirming our date for 1 pm on Sunday at the park.” When you want to convey emotion, then a zoom call or a face-to-face interaction is the best way to do that. An occasional romantic text such as, “I’m excited for our date this weekend” or “Can’t wait to see you again” after you’ve met the person is OK too.
7. Vow not to be someone’s pen pal.
Set up an acceptable timeframe in your mind of how long you’ll go back and forth before asking to meet by video chat or in person. Some of my older clients prefer phone calls, and you can miss important clues if you just rely on the phone. Does this person look like their picture? And know that scammers like the phone because they can get a local number and avoid video meetings.
And the last online dating rule that pertains to texting is:
8. Put down the phone and be present to the person you’re meeting.
Give this person an hour of your full attention. Relationships are built by face-to-face interactions. Even better if you can meet the person in real life. However, talking on the phone is better for building connection than texting.
These are the same 8 online dating rules for texting that I share with my clients and just a small part of why so many of them are successful with online dating.
My clients meet quality people and get into real-life relationships. If you need help navigating online dating, you’ll want to download my FREE Online Dating Checklist. If you’d like to explore coaching with me, here’s where you can connect with me.