The first six months of a relationship are very important. This is the time to assess the relationship and its viability for lasting love. And that’s when knowing effective relationship-building strategies come in handy.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the exciting emotions of a new relationship. And when you meet someone you’re crazy about and feel there may be potential for a future, you’ll want to figure out whether you really do have a future together.
These relationship-building strategies will serve you as you explore the future viability of your relationship:
Stay curious about your partner!Show interest in getting to know them. Ask about things like their likes and dislikes, what’s important to them, their upbringing, and their family. This may seem like a simple, and perhaps obvious, relationship-building strategy, but it’s often overlooked.
There is always something new to learn about your partner if you stay curious. Ask simple, open-ended questions., You’ll be surprised by what you’ll learn!
Focus on discovering what you have in common: Goals, Values, and InterestsYour goals must be aligned for a relationship to go the distance. If you both want a family, then you’ll have that in common. If you both want a loyal, loving companion for your sunset years, then that will give purpose to the relationship.
Also, understanding what values you have in common is a smart relationship-building strategy to employ. Values are the “glue” of a relationship and what connects people. For instance, if you both share a strong, spiritual faith, then that will bind the two of you more closely. Or if you both desire to live a healthy, active lifestyle, then you’ll have that in common.
And if you have some common interests, you’ll enjoy doing these together. This will create a stronger bond between the two of you.
Make sure you talk at least once a dayKeeping the lines of communication open in a romantic relationship is very important. It’s best to talk by video chat or phone if you can’t see one another in person. To build a relationship, and intimacy, hearing your partner’s voice and having a two-way (in real-time) conversation is important. This is one of my top relationship-building strategies.
I’ve had clients who live in different states or even different countries. And each of these couples was able to keep their relationship flame burning by staying connected every day.
How you stay connected is important. So let’s face it, texting may be quick and easy, but it doesn’t replace a phone call or a video chat. Texts are just for information or a quick, “I’m thinking of you” touch. So be careful about utilizing texting as a way to build connection and intimacy. Too many things can be misconstrued. I see that my successfully coupled clients communicate daily with one another by phone or video chat if they can’t be together in person.
Find a system to compromise and negotiate that works for you both.You come into a relationship as two independent people. So, there are bound to be differences in what you want to do, when you want to do it, and how you want to do it too! When considering relationship-building strategies compromise and negotiation rank highly.
How do you decide which movie to go to or what restaurant to eat at? Or even how to get to the ball game?
Usually, one person will make the suggestion and the other agrees or offers other suggestions.
Sometimes you just agree! That’s serendipity! Other times it requires a give-and-take. My parents would alternate movie choices. My father liked action films and comedies. My mom preferred period pieces or dramas. So they would take turns!
Couples negotiate on many things. And those who can find a way to accommodate one another have a better chance of creating a lasting relationship.
This leads to the next relationship-building strategy:
Have a way to talk about issues and respectfully manage conflicts.No couple agrees 100% of the time! Conflict is inevitable. How you talk about the tough stuff determines whether the relationship has any potential for longevity.
Being willing to talk about disagreements or issues and being heard (and understood) by your partner is very important. Most of all, being respectful of one another during this process is necessary to maintain dignity and a sense of self-esteem.
Sometimes talking to a third party, a coach or counselor, is helpful to work through issues. Both of you will need to agree to bring in a third party, buy into this solution, and want objective insights into the problem for working with a third party to be effective.
How a couple deals with the issues in their relationship will determine the viability and longevity of that relationship. So I recommend paying close attention to this relationship-building strategy.
Get away for the weekend together.You really learn about a person when you travel with them. Many insights come into view. You see how they handle the inevitable issues that arise while traveling. And this gives you insight into their character and resilience. This is what makes taking a trip together one of my top relationship-building strategies.
What if your flight gets canceled or the room you got wasn’t as expected? Do you both want to stay at a 5-star hotel or a budget motel? Do you expect to eat gourmet or have a picnic in the park? Do you take public transportation or limousine service? Do you like to do similar activities or do you have different interests? And who pays for what?
This strategy was very telling for me when I was single. I often knew if the relationship had long-term potential AFTER taking a trip with a man. It tended to be a make-or-break event.
Last, but not least, I recommend you employ this relationship-building strategy…
Share your dreams and desires.When you feel that a person has “life partner” potential, then it’s necessary to share your dreams and desires with them no matter where the chips may fall.
If you truly want children of your own, it’s better to know sooner than later if you’re on the same track.
If you dream of moving to New Mexico for your golden years, and your partner wants to stay in Boston then a compromise needs to be reached or it’s not going to work out. I know couples that spend half the year in one place and the other half in the other place.
So I hope you see that by practicing these relationship-building strategies, you’ll be able to create a relationship that will have a chance to develop into something more solid and lasting. And when you focus on these strategies, you should be able to know within six months if you’ve found true love or need to move on.
If you need support around meeting a life partner or solidifying an existing relationship, then let’s find a time to explore how I can best help you create the loving relationship you’ve always imagined. Click this link https://motivatedtomarry.com/connect-with-coach-amy/ to get started!