Trying to meet someone who is serious about finding a life partner through online dating? Curious about the top questions to ask on online dating sites in order to find out if someone is truly on the same page as you?

In my 20 years as a relationship and life coach, I’ve narrowed down the list of questions you need to ask to just 7. But you need more than the questions to be able to evaluate whether someone is looking for a committed long-term relationship. That’s why I’m also going to share with you the types of answers to look for along with each of the questions.

So, here are my top 7 questions to ask on online dating sites: 

1. What’s the purpose of your being on this site? 

With this question to ask on an online dating site, you’re trying to find out the real reason why they’re on the site. They may tell you the truth or they may tell you what you want to hear.

What you’re looking for is for them to say, “I’m looking for a long-term committed relationship or I’m looking to meet my one and only with the hope of getting married in the future”.  Any other answer may indicate that they’re not truly serious about finding a life partner for the long haul. They may simply be a “love the one you’re with” kind of person.

2. How do you like online dating?

What you’re looking for with this question is some version of “I hate it; it sucks!”. That’s a person who wants to meet someone and be done with it. But you’ll still want to be careful. This person may not be all that discerning. 

Some social, extroverted people may answer this question to ask on online dating a bit differently. They may say they get to meet interesting people, however, they’re ready to meet their true love because they’re tired of the dating revolving door of online dating sites.

3. What would you prefer to be doing rather than spending time dating online?

Again, this depends on a person’s personality.

A social, extroverted person would tell you they’d rather be with their friends or doing other activities where they meet people and not have to be searching for a life partner any longer.  

A quieter, more introverted person may tell you they’d rather be reading a book, working on a project, or out with their close friends.  

What’s common for both introverts and extroverts is the only reason they’re online dating is because they see this as the best way to meet someone special for a long-term relationship.  

Another answer you’ll likely receive when you ask this question is that they enjoy online dating to meet a variety of people and do things they’ve never imagined. However, this doesn’t sound like a person who’s ready to settle down with one person. And yet, you don’t want to assume – so ask to be sure!

4. How long have you been on this site?

This question to ask on online dating sites will show you how long they’ve been on this quest. When a person is motivated and if they’re considered “a catch”, then it usually doesn’t take that long to meet the right person. That is only if they know how to put out the right kind of information to attract a good person. 

Again, you have to look deeper. They could have taken a break while dating someone and found out this person was not actually the right kind of partner. And then they’re back online. An answer of consecutive months and years is suspect. Many of my seriously searching clients meet someone within a couple of months after implementing the Motivated to Marry Dating Secrets methodology (the exceptions have an outside roadblock like family, health, or work issues).

5. What’s your vision of your life a year from now?

This question gets to the heart of what this person truly wants. If he doesn’t say as part of this vision. “To be engaged to the woman I’m going to marry” or “Be in a committed relationship”, then he may not be the serious dater you’re looking for. 

Similarly, if she says she wants to climb Mount St. Helen or go to Europe with her band, then she’s just not a motivated dater! I suggest you keep searching online or otherwise.     

6. Tell me about your parents and what you admire most about their relationship.

Not that their parents having a successful relationship/marriage means they want to be married as well. However, for many people, if their parents had a good relationship and marriage, they most likely want to have the same since they’ve seen a positive role model. And if the person you’re dating admires something about their parents’ relationship, then most likely they would want to find something very similar. 

Or if their parents didn’t have the best marriage, then perhaps they want to have a loving relationship for themselves since they may feel they missed out. In other words, not seeing a happy relationship can also be a motivator for some people, as well.  

7. If you were on a desert island and you had all your basic needs met, what 2 things would you want to have on that island with you? 

This is an unusual question to ask on online dating sites. Yet it’s an important question to ask because it gets to the heart of what someone wants if all their basic needs are met (food, water, clothing, and shelter). “A companion” is the answer you’re looking for.

Granted, “a companion” isn’t a thing, but you don’t want to lead them to the answer you’re looking for. You want to keep the question as neutral as possible so they’ll give you insight into who they are.

Some form of “a companion” is always the answer my clients give to this question. They value having someone to have their back, talk with, problem-solve with, and have intimacy with, too.

So, they want to meet someone else who values a committed relationship too.

Here you have it! These questions to ask on online dating sites will get you to the true motivation of someone’s dating.

And remember, that actions speak louder than words. Watch for consistency and follow-through. No matter if you’re dating online or in person, consistency and follow-through must be integral to any person you’re considering as a life partner. 

Good luck with your dating efforts. And if I can help you make the journey easier, reach out. I’m here to help, and I’m always open to exploring what’s possible for you!  Go to www.talkwithcoachamy.com to get on my calendar.