Do you wonder what Miss Manners would have said about online dating etiquette?
I think she’d be very disapproving of how most people behave when it comes to online dating.
Unfortunately, one can hide behind the nickname and anonymity that online dating avails you.
However, rude behavior will rarely help you succeed with online dating. (And it won’t get you dates in real life, either.)
So, what’re the critical online dating etiquette tips you need to know to give yourself the best chance to meet your special person? Here are my top 7 tips:
Express yourself.Saying “Hey” or just “liking” a profile and not saying anything of substance won’t make you stand out. Most people want to know what you saw in their profile that caught your eye. If you begin your communication with that phrase, I would say many would pass by your profile – especially women.
Communicate appropriately.Messaging several times a day can be excessive unless both of you are returning each other’s messages and are comfortable with the frequency. However, many people are busy with work and life’s responsibilities. And it’s unrealistic to expect a stranger to be texting you several times a day. Not to mention how distracting that can be.
Take your time bringing up sex.Messaging about sex or even talking on the phone about sex BEFORE you’ve even met the person is in very poor taste! (And even if you do meet, that topic is taboo until both parties have shown interest and have had some physical contact like kissing and more!) Be conscious that this is not something most people will do right away, especially with STDs. And many serious people want an emotional, mental, and spiritual connection BEFORE even considering an intimate, physical relationship.
Allow the relationship to evolve naturally.Another online dating etiquette faux pas is expecting an “instant relationship” or exclusivity even before you’ve actually met the person. A couple can decide to be exclusive after a couple of dates. And yet, saying “I love you” is most likely inappropriate until you’ve spent time with someone over a couple of weeks or even months. I recommend you take the time to get to know them, their friends, and their family before committing your undying love to someone.
Be honest about your interest level.Ghosting someone is poor online dating etiquette. What this means is coming on strong with someone, developing a relationship, and then just falling off the face of the earth for no good reason. If you’re not interested in someone, then have the guts to let someone down gently and not leave him/her hanging.
Respect others’ emotions and desires.Breadcrumbing is another unkind online dating behavior. What this means is that you’re messaging once in a blue moon. Someone who does this disappears and reappears after some time. It can be a month or even several months since you’ve contacted that person. Or you keep in touch just enough to keep this person’s interest and hopes up. Nonetheless, you’re clearly not a priority in that person’s life.
Be transparent.Do be transparent and share what works for you and what doesn’t. Then the other person can assess if this is the right situation for them. Most people will appreciate this and be more likely to want to see you again, especially if there’s chemistry.
In the end, it’s one’s actions that really count. When in doubt, ask yourself what the kind-and-considerate action is, and you’ll be aligned with the best online dating etiquette. Not everyone will be the love of your life. And if you treat others well, you may have a new friend. People appreciate people with manners and kindness. And the universe will reward you!
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