Everyone wants to make a great first impression, and that’s especially true for someone going on a first date!
It’s daunting to put yourself out there with so much riding on the line. Let’s just say you have been online dating and have communicated with someone of interest via emails, texting, or even telephone calls. There is obvious “phone chemistry” and a mutual interest in meeting each other. You both agree to meet in person and the moment has come! The anxiety and excitement are real, but may also be overwhelming- you don’t want to mess this up!
Take a deep breath and check out these simple tips for a great first date!
Visualize Success
Think about your wonderful attributes and not your faults. Take an inventory of your values, skills, talents, interests, and “heart”. This is the beauty you present to the world.
For example, if you’re a good listener, imaginative, or have a knack for making others laugh, visualize how these qualities can enhance your interactions on dates. Envision engaging conversations where your strengths shine through, creating connections that feel natural and fulfilling.Keep Your Expectations in Check
Don’t start imagining yourself at the altar with your date. Ask yourself these three relationship questions: Do I like the person? Does the conversation flow easily with one another? Is there any kind of attraction? That’s it. If you answer yes to these questions, then be open to seeing the person again.Dress Appropriately for a Great First Date
This should be one of the more obvious tips for a great first date- be presentable! You should be neat, well-groomed, and in casual dress clothes (unless you are meeting for a hike on your first date). Don’t go in dressed too casually, in a T-shirt and jeans.
Also, don’t go looking dressed-to-kill by being overly sexy as if you’re ready for a nightclub. Strive to look like the guy or girl next door, or how you might dress if you were going to meet your date’s family or friends. An attractive middle ground is the best way to avoid any awkwardness, allowing you to be comfortable and let your personality shine.Be Prepared to Discuss Five General Topics
Other dating tips for men and women include preparing a list of topics such as current events; a subject of personal interest such as your volunteer activities, your work or outside work interests; any books you are reading; any movies you have seen lately, and favorite sports to watch or participate in. Do not talk about your divorce or your last boyfriend. If you have children, you may talk about them briefly- do not bore your date with hours of stories about your kids.Use Your Values as Your Guideposts
Know what’s most important to you and look to see if your date has similar values and ideals. Pay close attention to anything that makes you uncomfortable- your gut is usually right!
Your core values shape who you are, so identifying them can help you determine compatibility with a potential partner. During the date, observe how your date speaks about their passions, goals, and lifestyle choices.
Pay attention to how they interact with and treat others as well as how they speak of people in their life. Do they value people, honesty, family, or ambition in a way that resonates with you? Remember, a shared foundation of values can lead to a more meaningful and lasting connection.Pick a Quiet Place Where You Can Talk
Meeting at a coffee house or a bookstore is best. You may decide to take a stroll outside if it feels right. Try to avoid having your first date at a fancy restaurant- it can create overly long first meetings and then there is always the tension of who is paying for what. Also, don’t go to a show or a movie where it’s difficult to talk.Plan on Spending One to Two Hours Max
This is one of the more surprising of my tips for a great first date: keep it short and sweet. The purpose of a first date is to see the person and to get a feel for them. It’s best not to drag the date on.
Limiting the date to one or two hours keeps the experience enjoyable and prevents those awkward lulls in conversation. A shorter date also creates a sense of mystery and anticipation, leaving both of you wanting more. This way, you’re more likely to leave a positive first impression and set the stage for a second date where you can take more time to get to know one another.It’s Best to Meet During the Day
It is more relaxed to meet in the late morning or afternoon during the weekend. A weekday evening is the next best thing. Weekend evenings are too much pressure and feel like a serious date. You may be tempted to do stuff you will later regret!Always be Courteous and Kind to Your Date – Even If You Aren’t Interested
You never know where you will see him or her again and who his or her friends are. Always treat people the way you wish to be treated.
Being courteous and kind demonstrates respect and maturity, and it leaves a positive impression. Even if there’s no chemistry, expressing gratitude for the time spent together and wishing them well can turn a potentially awkward goodbye into a respectful conclusion. Kindness is a reflection of your character and can open doors to unexpected opportunities in the future.If All Goes Well…
My dating advice for women- be open to going out again. Studies have shown that women, more often than men, become attracted to, and even marry, men that they weren’t interested in at first meeting.
Men- always follow up quickly if you say you’re going to! However, if you’re not attracted to her, be pleasant, honest, and kind. Never say, “I’ll call” and not call! It’s not being nice, it’s cruel.
Remember, the first date isn’t about determining if this person is “the one”.
It’s an introduction- an opportunity to determine if you are reasonably compatible, attracted to one another, and find enough in common to move to a second date.
By following these tips for a great first date you will have far more pleasant experiences and hopefully, it won’t take too many more first dates for you to have your last first date!