There is a big buzz going around concerning the latest Bachelor, Jason and his change of the heart. Women everywhere are outraged at Jason for his behavior. What do you expect? He’s only human.
Put yourself in his shoes- you meet 25 eligible women all vying for your attention. It’s like he has his own harem! Now how many men do you know have that situation? This is TV and fantasy land. Through the internet you can meet 25 supposedly eligible women. However, the women are all able to date other men at the same time and not putting all their eggs in the proverbial basket! In real life, he would have to meet these women and have to sincerely woo them each. Perhaps given a choice, these women wouldn’t want to really date a single father and not give him the time of day. Okay, he’s not that bad looking! Most young women I know don’t want the baggage.
So in six weeks he is supposed to pick a wife. How realistic is that? Moreover he has this pressure to choose one because he is expected to do so. This is the premise of the show. He is under a microscope (or the cameras in TV speak) all along the way. Not such a typical situation in real life dating!
In a real life situation, if a guy is dating two women, he would most likely keep dating them until he knew for sure that a particular one was “the one”. Eventually he’d have to choose because one or both women would request he do so or move on to find someone who would commit to her.
So after the show, when he got some distance from all the pressure and time to think, he had buyer’s remorse. In the end he really felt he had chose the wrong woman, after all.
So Jason regretted his original choice of a mate. The only mistake he made was in proposing to Melissa in the first place. You know the show must go on! Then to break up with her on national TV was very cruel. Then again, it is TV and drama is good for ratings!
Now remind me, why do we care? Back to our own lives!
What is your opinion?
This inquiring relationship coach wants to know your answers to these questions and any comments you may have on this subject.
Your relationship coach,
Amy
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Tags: Love relationship, relationship advice, relationship coach, serious relationship, relationship questions.
My gut reaction to have zero sympath for Jason. And even with time and thought I am become more unsympathetic. He is classicly indecisive. His comments that ‘we should live in the moment’ and ‘no regret for my actions'(about becoming engaged to Melissa) is a red herring that he cannot see long term implications of his actions. He was indecisive and instead of being open about this he led two woman along. Also, his emotional response at the foe close of his relationship with Molly should have been another indicator that something was a wry with his decision. He’s clearly got some issues and emotional IQ is in question.
Also, there is a trust issue with Jason. I have trouble believing that he wasn’t contacting Molly when he was with Melissa given the kissing at the end of the tv show? Which was totally cruel and makes me question both of their humanity.
My real sympathy for Melissa arises from my own experience and the fact we are so close in age. When I heard Melissa say, “Why don’t you fight for us?” Sort of like a ‘that’s it?’ you just gave up! I know I have said the exact same thing in a break up. Also, it really hit home when she said about being engaged for the first time “you took that away from me.”
The only solace I find is knowing that she avoided a bigger mistake which would have been marrying that man. Something that Jason said did highlight that he is infact human, he said that he knew Melissa would marry him and make it work, for breaking up with her before that I am thankful, doing it on tv and continuing to be on tv with his new love interest..thats another story.
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First off, let me say that while I think that what Jason did was, perhaps, “wrong” in terms of the way he took back the engagement on national TV, let’s be real!! Any woman that is on that show, just like the men on “that other show” The Bachelorette, had better be REALLY serious about knowing what the stakes are and that there is ONLY a 4% (1 out of 25) CHANCE they will end up being “The One”. Those odds SUCK!
So….while I’m sorry that it happened to someone as sweet as her, I’m only saying that perhaps, as Amy said, drama is good for ratings! However, it could be BAD, perhaps VERY BAD, for a view of real life. Both Molly and Melissa knew what was at stake, and too be honest some of the prospective fiancees don’t act that nice to each other, and are in some ways pretty catty and nasty. These shows are all about initial animal attraction, one-upping the competition and acceptance on national TV.
The Bachelor / Bachelorette and that other show which has just as much emotion in it (and a whole lot more skin) with Brett Michaels (I believe) play on the heartstrings of a love sick American public in a way like no other shows do. Have we as American’s become so unsatisfied with our own relational lives that we have to live (and hate) vicariously through the likes of guys like Jason and women like Melissa and Molly and pick them apart while our own relationships are the ones that need work??
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Amy-
We care because we’ve become a nation of instant gratification, instant entertainment, and let’s feel good in the moment. We want to be amused by watching someone else jump through some dating hoops, as unrealistic as they are, on that show. Or we want to watch them make fools of themselves on TV. We want to believe “Romantic True Love at First Sight” is alive well.
Not knowing what the agreement is to be on the show, I thought that Jason–knowing he was struggling to choose between two women–should have not proposed to either and took the time after the show to figure that out. I have a feeling that’s not how the show works and he was pressured to pick.
The women, come on, they’ve been watching this show since its inception and know full well the possibility of getting hurt going in. But they believe it will be different for them somehow. Why would anyone fight for a union that hadn’t even taken place? If it is a struggle in the beginning–Run Fast and don’t look back.
Going on that show was mistake number one and Melissa is already reaping the bounty of being rejected by being snapped up by the next reality show.
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Thanks for such great, thoughtful responses. It seems we are in agreement so far! — Coach Amy
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